Should a parent give advice or criticism to another parent, if they have never been in a situation themselves?

Question

One thing that I have a big issue with is people giving advice or criticism to someone about a certain situation, when they themselves have no personal experience or knowledge of the situation. Take some of the major topics on her: stepparenting, working moms, stay-at-home moms, spanking, child beauty pageants. If someone has no first hand knowledge or experience on a subject, should they really be dishing out advice or criticism to others about that subject? It is easy to have an opinion about something, but if you have never personally been in a specific situation, do you really have any real knowlege to offer? Take someone who has never been a stepparent, criticising someone for how they deal with their stepkids. Or someone who only knows about childrens beauty pageants from what they see on TV. Or judging someone for being a working mom, when you haven't been in their situation. SHOULD, not CAN, someone really have an opinion, when they have no real experience with that subject?

And, because I know someone is going to bring this up, I said SHOULD they, not CAN they. This has nothing to do with the fact that Yahoo Answers is an open forum or that people have the right to have their own opinion. Having the right to do something is totally different from whether or not you SHOULD do something.

What really prompted me to ask this, besides my own personal experience dealing with people doing this to me, was because a woman on here asked a question about her stepkids. Since I also have stepchildren, I answered with my own opinion based on my experiences. A man, who obviously has never been in the roll of stepmom, answered with a very critical answer, as he always does on the stepparent subject. I have had this mans wrath on me before on that very subject, so I felt bad for the woman, since I knew how she felt. He has no first hand knowledge of being a stepmom, yet he feels that he needs to criticize those who are in that roll and have a hard time dealing with it. I have pointed that fact out to him before, that he has no first hand knowledge of it therefore shouldn't really be giving advice to a stepmom, yet all that got me was having him stalk me on here and call me every nasty name in the book, and give nasty answers to any question I ask, which will probably include this one

Answer 1

I think it depends on the situation and where you stand in relation to it. For example, I've answered several questions on Yahoo Answers and in general about single mothers, not because i am one, but because i was raised by one. I can offer that person advice through a child's eyes which can help them come up with a solution for their problem. But if you do not know of anyone who was a single mother, didn't grow up in that kind of environment or have really no sense of what that kind of situation is like, I think you should offer support instead of advice. Though on the contrast, someone who isn't first hand knowledgeable in a certain subject sometimes sees a solution that someone who is knowledgeable doesn't see. I've taken plenty advice from people about my son's ADHD who have no experience with it what so ever. I am, had many dilemmas and could only think of the ever day boring answers to them. I wanted different answers and turned to people who knew a lot about sports (what activities i could get my son into) and painters (what colors were soothing.) If i posted a question on Yahoo Answers that said "How can i help my son calm down?" i think an answer like "Try painting his room blue.." would be acceptable and knowledgeable.
I too though have gone through a similar problem. I asked a question once about my son's ADHD and i got a few comments, 1 from a 17 YEAR OLD KID saying that ADHD isn't real, just an excuse for poor parenting. I've also asked suggestions of names for my daughter (due in sept) and said "please not any names that are really out there." I got a comment that said "Sure, name your kid a borning every day name. You wouldn't want her to be different or anything." Well what does telling someone its just an excuse or that their request is stupid do but make the person who asked the question upset!? I mean GROW UP! Are you 5yrs old and need to be reminded "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all?" like i do with my kids? So you got 2 points for answering. Hate to break it to you, but these points are as useless as sour milk. That kind of nonsense i have no patience for. If youre just going to writea nasty comment, you really need to get over youself.
Everyone has a opinion about every subject from whether George W. Bush is a good president to what color your shoe laces should be. People just have to learn when it's appropriate to voice their opinion and when its not.
Best wishes and good luck! =]

Answer 2

Sure, anyone can have an opinion although it's probably less valuable than an opinion from someone who has walked in the same shoes. Occasionally someone might have a different viewpoint or an idea that adds something to the question or discussion. Even if you had two stepmoms, their experiences might be so different that neither one would have useful advice for another stepmom.

I get annoyed with the people who write stupid one-liners just to get a Yahoo point (why bother?) or who snap ugly or mean spirited responses on someone asking for help. Otherwise, if someone is spending a few minutes to try to be helpful even if they really don't understand as much as they think they do, it's ok with me.

Answer 3

First of all, you are asking about one parent advising another. More than likely they have been in the same situation. Or at least one that is similar. second, if I were the one asking for advice, I would take all answers into consideration. Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean that they don't have common sense which plays a big roll in raising children. It's up to you whether you take the advice or not. Third, if you don't want answers, then don't ask the question.

Answer 4

I think in some cases it can be helpful to get a wider opinion off eople, however it isnt fair of them to judge when they havent really got the idea of what your talking about.I personaly try to answer the questions i can help with, or believe that i have a bit of a helpful answer.It is wrong to go on about something you dont know about.
But you also have to take into account that there are alot of people on this yahoo thing and alot of them will answer anyways.You will just have to try your best to look at the helpful ones and ignore the ignorant ones.
I dont think people should answer if theyre answer is in no way helpful

Answer 5

I think you don't have to be IN a situation to know something about it. IN fact, I'd say it is fairly common to know about things you have not experienced. After all, doctors are all the time giving advice about ailments they have never had.

Just because you are IN a situation doesn't make you an automatic expert. I have learned that quite well. Step-parents get advice about parenting because they are TRYING to parent - which any parent would know something about - at the same time they are "stepping in" on someone elses parenting - which any parent would also know something about.
Likewise, people go on information given to them. I get annoyed with people making assumptions too but you can't really expect any different when you only give people PART of the picture.

I've also seen - time and time again - people get very good advice from someone who is not in the middle of the situation and reject it angrily because it doesn't conform to what they want to hear.

So it goes both ways. you don't have to have personal experience in a situation to know things about it and just because you are in a situation doesn't mean you are an expert in it.

Answer 6

no i don't think I should give advice on something I know nothing about
and i try to never criticize anyone for anything
(unless what they said is just so stupid i cant help myself )
if i don't know about a topic i don't answer the question at all or i go look up the information
if i can not do that and still feel i need to answer the question then i "only " give my opinion on the topic

Answer 7

This is a daft concern I'm a dad or mum and feature three grownup sons and there is not any means I'd manipulate any of my sons They have all been via Uni/university and so far as I was once worried their weekends have been unfastened to them to do what they appreciated My eldest travelled to look his g/f each weekend at the same time they have been each pupils -no main issue What do they mum and dad desire their son to do ,research each weekend as good as throughout the week Your b/f goes to must rise up to his mum and dad, inform them he's an grownup now and will make his possess offerings in lifestyles If no longer then they're consistently going to manipulate his each transfer Neither you nor he demands to invite permission to consult with him, that's ridiculous Many years in the past I was once a scholar and my b/f, now my husband stayed two hours away via instruct and we noticed each and every different each weekend My mom didn't manipulate me I acquired my measure,I acquired my profession, so your b/f demands to reassure them that seeing you on the weekends is a well factor no longer a nasty factor

Answer 8

I would say people can give advice or criticism, because say another parent smokes pot with their teenage child, I don't have to have done that or even have a teenager to form an opinion. Also on the step parent thing I believe it's the same, if I'm coming with my comment as a parent, you get a diverse response or "criticism".

Answer 9

In some peoples' cases, just because they do not have fisrt hand experience with something doesn't mean they can't give proper well guided opinions. It's called wisdom, some ppl. just have it without needing first hand knowledge.

Answer 10

Well you know if you ask a question on Yahoo Answers, you will get a wide table of answers. You can choose to accept them or dismiss them. That's my opinion.
Don't take to heart if someone doesn't agree with you. You will never please all the people all the time. You're only setting yourself up for dissappointment.
Getting back to your question. I'd prefer to hear from experienced parents as opposed to unexperienced parents.