I've RSVP'd "yes" to a wedding I want out of now. Is there any polite way to back out?

Question

The wedding is for a woman I work with. We're not particularly close at all and I told them my girlfriend & I would go mainly as a way to seem like a "team player" at my job. The wedding is this Sunday (Memorial Day weekend) and we are desperate to back out without being impolite. Is there any way possible to do so?

HELP!!!

Answer 1

If its a large wedding, I would bet you won't be missed. My wedding was on memorial day weekend last year...we sent out over 400 invitations, 250 rsvp'd yes. About 20 of the yes people didn't show up and about 40 of the no's did. :)

Also, do you know how they're doing the food? If its a buffet or something like that, again, you should be fine because they give a number then add about 20 to 50 servings to that to make sure everyone gets enough food. If its sit down, you're probably going to hear about it if you don't go b/c you pay by the plate...and if you're counted and don't show, thats at least 15 bucks a plate they're losing, probably more.

If its a small wedding, tell her that your gf planned something as a suprise without you knowing and you cna't back out. Or that you didn't realize it was memorial day weekend and you have family commitments, etc. Even if it is a small wedding, I doubt the bride will miss you, she'll be busy focusing on her day and her closer family and friends...you may only have other co-workers to explain to, but remember, you may be costing them money...so it might be worth it to show up for a few hours rather than to fib and get a lot of guilt trips.

Answer 2

First, you're making it transparent who's NOT invited by way of making it transparent who's IS invited. Invite each visitor by way of title, even tiny youngsters. If you do not know a reputation uncover out. Miss Manners tells us that And Guest is invited if and provided that any individual is NAMED And Guest. The equal is going for And Family, Plus One, and all the ones different indistinct phrases that rob of you manipulate over your visitor record. If you are no longer certain whether or not any individual is in a significant dating, ask "Is there a exact any individual I will have to be inviting for you?" and if sure, get that exact someones entire title and deal with. If an entire title is with ease produced and the 2 men and women proportion an deal with, then they're certainly big others and need to be invited as a pair. If the exact any individual lives at yet another deal with, you ought to perform a little refined detective paintings. Say whatever like "I'm so completely happy for you! How lengthy have you ever and ___ been in dating? Should be plan on making a few form of assertion on the marriage ceremony?" You would possibly have got to say "Oh, I"m sorry I wasn't extra transparent. I was once asking whether or not you're in a significant long run dating. I'm watching ahead to assembly your new sweetheart quickly, however we are proscribing the visitor record to men and women we all know and care approximately." If the reaction shows that there is not any precise exact any individual, simply a want to regard a few as but unknown individual to a champagne supper at YOUR rate, you are saying whatever like "I'm sorry I wasn't extra transparent. I was once asking approximately your big different. I'll mark you down as a unmarried." Do no longer use the ones cutesy little RSVP playing cards. Two to 3 weeks after mailing invites your helpers begin calling men and women to invite whether or not the invitation could have been misplaced within the mail, and as soon as it is situated that the invitation was once certainly bought, ask whilst the hosts would possibly anticipate a reaction. No that is NOT impolite or pushy. Mannerly men and women recognize invitation inside two days of receiving them; to kindly and tactfully immediate men and women to be mannerly is not ever impolite. During those RSVP cellphone calls, your helpers are ready to reply questions approximately how dressed as much as get and so forth. If men and women disregard to invite an principal query, your helpers say "You're most often brooding about what variety of food and drinks to anticipate. The hosts are making plans ..." You're helpers also are ready to mention factor like "There is a false impression. The invitation is for Lee Konda. Marv Mook isn't at the visitor record." Have yet another helper make a comply with up cellphone name every week or extra later to verify the top depend. "That might be Lee Konda attending, a social gathering of 1 grownup and nil youngsters, is that right? Thank you for know-how the value of no longer placing someone within the awkward function of bringing alongside a further individual that the hosts will have got to ask to depart." This makes it transparent that if someone drags alongside a crasher, it's they and no longer you who might be embarrassed. Do no longer be misled by way of Wedding Industry lies. The thought that you just need to furnish a champagne supper for a gang of informal dates is natural horse manure.

Answer 3

You will ruin the team spirit if you back out. They have already paid for your attendance. Go to the ceremony and reception. You can leave mid-reception, but you should say good-bye to the hosts. You can make the ill excuse at that point citing a migraine for your spouse. Nothing makes people more upset around weddings as guests who say they will come and are no-shows.

Answer 4

umm there isn't really any polite way to back out of it. If the wedding is this weekend the head count has already been given to the caterer and they are going to have to pay for yours and your gf's meal. If you do end up calling and backing out then I would give her a very good gift.

Answer 5

i went with my fiance to a wedding last year and i didn't know ANYONE, we almost backed out but we had RSVP'd and we felt bad. we had a good time because we sat by ourselves, had a great dinner and free drinks... we got to chat to the people we wanted to (the bride and groom were so busy talking to everyone else they said hello and ran off to talk to someone else) and we left after the cake.

hey if anything its a free meal for you and they have already paid for it. go for a little while. i would

Answer 6

I agree that there isn't really any way to politely back out now. They already told the caterer the number of guests and have likely already paid for you and your gf's plate already. The wedding is a few days!

Answer 7

Pleading illness works however you should offer to cover the expenses that the couple incurred on your & your friends behalf. Seating , food etc. Then weigh if the cost is more than the hassle of attending a nice party.

Answer 8

I echo those who said it's rude to back out at this date. They've already paid for your dinner and are expecting you to attend. I went to a colleague's wedding with my bf last year. It was nice - we sat together, had a nice (free) dinner and drinks, stayed for the cake and a couple of dances, said our congrats to the couple and left. Unfortunately, it's just much too late to back out now.

Answer 9

buy a nice wedding gift nothing expensive (nice picture frame) send it to her same day or overnight and tell her your sorry but you are unable to attend. the gift will sweeten the deal just remember she thought enough of you to invite you never know you and your girlfriend may have made some new friends

Answer 10

I would just go to the woman in person, apologize and tell her that something has come up and that you won't be able to attend her wedding. No need to give details, just apologize and tell her you won't be attending.

If you have a gift or card for her, give it to her when you talk to her. If you don't have a gift or card, get one before you talk to her!