Why do some find it hard to accept, understand, and love themselves?

Question

Namaste

Peace and Love

Answer 1

From a very early age we begin to accrue standards -- on the giving and receiving of love (especially within ourselves) -- and it is these standards which begets judgement towards ourselves AND others.

As we grow older, these standards start to become infused into our minds and a fear can start to build when one thinks about leaving these standards behind; for it is these standards that we feel are "who we are."

When we want to branch out of this "norm" -- that we think is ourself -- a fear can start to build from the unknown. Change is what begets this fear...

And fear has the ablity to grip the heart and light of our soul and keep us in a "prison" of sorts; blinding us to the truth of who we really are., and who we were always meant to be!

Love!

To Love is as natural as breathing in and breathing out. God has no difficulty in loving unconditionally every single child of His/Her creation!

For God sets no standards! There is no set of imaginary criteria of sinless-ness before God naturally gives from the boundless supply available to all.

So the question to all is... Why then must we?

Answer 2

Great question, if a little too painful for some of us to contemplate too deeply.

An extraordinary thing is that I read all the answers and thumbs upped nearly all of them, that's an all time first !

I think that everyone has more or less said it all from my perspective, I can only add that it seems to be an unfortunate part of the 'rules' of the 'physical Universe' game, that we have to enter each time pretty much forgetting who we really are.

We have selected the parents we get before each manifestation, and we do so in order to have exactly the set of opportunites for experience that we desire before coming back. Thus, even though it seems 'hard', eventually the system is designed perfectly to provide the end-results we are in pursuit of.

I feel sure that every single one of us re-enters the purest understanding that not only are we loved Cosmicly, but that we are actually made of the stuff, and can be nothing else.

As you say, patience, acceptance and understanding are all. :-)

Answer 3

Why do some find it hard to accept, understand and love themselves ? Because they are still reading and " buying into " the " owners manual " that was written by some others in their life that project to them that they are less magnificant than they actually are.

I had that moment in my life when I was in my late teens. I came to the thought of " that's what " they " say who I am . . . Yet, that is NOT who I really am ". I looked within and thought about who I really am in my core...the thought came to me that (God) loves me...I'm a precious child of that Light. Who are " they " to say I'm not a precious, bright person. So, I put that " book " to the side of who others said I was and began my journey of seeing and knowing who I purely am.

My " experiences " and life events are what happened to me...yet it's not WHO I am. I am God's child first and the person to all the others second. And, who am I to not honor and be the brightness that (God) the One knows all the children to be.

Why is that hard for a person to accept and see ? Because they are still ' buying ' into the book of the naysayers that say that brightness does'nt exist or a person is not worthy of it. The label and word " sinner " comes to mind.

Nonsense . . . We are of the Light . . .It's a persons birthright to shine. When a person sees that . . . they cherish the light that they are of the One Light and thus they accept, understand and Love themselfs.

Joy.
.

Answer 4

Me personally i have been given talents (drawing and linguistics - spoke fluent english and german already when i was little) and a brain pretty big (iq: 140ish)... yet i have not accomplished anything... i have not tried to either. I am affraid that if i should ever try for real i would fail miserably and i could not cope with that.

I never really had to study to get decent grades... i am scared of doing that. Everytime i try a little i fail... everything i ever did came naturally without a budge and evenso i got some nice grades. I hate being scared of doing big things... i want to be an engineer but i can't... i don't want to attempt it for real.

I am lazy now, i hate that too.

That's my personal reason, my frustration about myself i live out on others. Which i also hate about myself.

Answer 5

Offhand, I would say it has to do with parental figures, and whether or not one felt he had pleased them, had thier approval, or not. If one grows up thinking one's parents to be distant or judgemental, there's a little parent sitting on you shoulder telling you things about yourself. Not necessarily accurate things though. And these not necessarily accurate messages, can undermine a person, and go on in a negative loop, even when you try to understand and tell yourself that it's a false message, and you have the power to change it. Some habits die hard.....

Answer 6

Because when we are little, our parents are our Gods. We think God is just like Daddy... Unfortunately, Daddy is human, highly-critical, never congratulatory, and never happy with himself or others. Daddy only shows love when you force it on him - ie, say "Daddy give me a hug!" then he pats you uncomfortably and sends you off to bed.

Prov. 22: 6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

When parents train their children to be highly critical of themselves, "when [they] are old, [they] will not depart from it."

It is a hard mould to break... although possible through much effort and learning.

Answer 7

I am a misshapen cripple. I don't let it stop me, and it has given me great amounts of "heart". I hate it, though. I really hate it, and I don't accept it, or understand it, and I do not love me. Other people, I guess, pray for things. Me I just pray that others will not be held accountable for treating me bad. I mean I don't blame them. I feel the same way about me that they do.

Answer 8

Actually, everyone loves themselves too much. Especially here in the U.S., where we have the highest levels of self-esteem in the world.

When people have "esteem" issues, it's really a mask for selfishness. When one has low self-esteem, they are comforted by folks who tell them how great they are. This merely stokes their ego. The more depressed in the esteem, the more people bend over backwards to change it.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Biblically, there isn't a lot about us to love. We are fallen creatures, and sin daily, offending a Holy God. We deserve death for these sins. But God loves us. He gave us worth. Not because of anything we've done.

He sent His Son to die for us, to avoid the penalty for our sins. That is where we should get our worth. But it shouldn't come from self. It should come from God.

Any "wisdom" contrary to that is man's wisdom. And the Bible says this: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." (Proverbs 14:12)

Answer 9

I respect my ability to survive, I accepted my fate years ago, and I understand that this is the life I chose. I hope in my next life I choose to be happy.

Answer 10

A great deal of it has to do with the ideas they develop about themselves in early childhood. Those who are treated as "less than" often grow up seeing themselves in that light. It's very difficult to change that perspective of yourself if you don't have help and guidance to show you exactly what misconceptions you developed as a child.