How to re-establish a loving relationship with my 15 yo boy?

Question

I live w/ him and my 13 yo girl. Until a year ago they used to figh a lot, he was very jealous of her because he thought I loved her and didn't love him.Not true, though I agree I was much harder on him than on her. Several times he was mean to her and, though never did anything awful, did unacceptable things, like throwing her in a swimming pool when she was ready for a party (there was no danger of drowning). It's true she used to tease him and make him mad. For several times he got harsh punishments and she enjoyed this and teased him. Finally he stopped fighting w/ her and for some time tried to make up for his wrongdoings. When he considered it was enough, he simply stopped talking to me and her. He's a very responsible boy, an honor student, respected by friends and teachers. But very bitter and unhappy, resentful never smiles. Says he doesnt want to have make kids, because males can't be loved. I've been trying to get closer to him, but he's extremely resentful and avoids me.

I asked him if he loves me. He said he respects me, but it's impossible to love me.

Answer 1

You have to build his trust and allow him to love you. Your favoritism of your daughter has made him insecure and feeling unloved. No child should feel unloved. Its your job, not his to correct that. Get into serious family counseling with him and some parenting classes. You need to help your son, not fool around wondering if he loves you. Your son is a time bomb. If there is no man in his life for support then get him involved with Big Brothers or some other social organization where he can get a positive male role model.

Answer 2

youngsters may well be like that, moody or withdrawn. it extremely is attainable he feels wronged that he wasn't enjoyed. His thoughts might or won't be justified. i do no longer think of he means it while he says he respects you yet does not love you. there is a few quantity of harm hidden in that assertion. i might propose, purely speaking to him whether he does not respond top. do no longer advance those subject concerns, ask approximately college, life and so on. restore him his widespread dinner or breakfast. do no longer forget approximately to compliment him each and every threat you get. so some distance as attainable, do no longer evaluate the siblings in any way. It does not harm to admit which you're feeling you have been too harsh, and which you may opt to make up for it. He might respond negatively, yet remmeber he nonetheless loves you. stable success! :)