This is a very twisted situation so some unbiased feedback would be appreciated.I have know this man for over 7 years, he is my ex-husbands best friend and my ex-best friends husband. He married this woman solely because he wanted to adopt her daughter because he loves her. He has cheated on her from the beginning. He and I started being intimate 2 years ago and stopped 8 months ago. Somewhere in there his wife found out that he was cheating on her (not with me) and they started to try to repair their marriage through counseling. He told me a day or so ago that he fantasizes about us being together... that he cant stop it.That he wishes things were different because he knows it would work. I wont ask him to leave his wife... but i want him. we have the same views, think the same way, neither of us believes in monogamy. We are closer than i have ever felt towards anyone.It's hard for me to express emotion. I have been unable to sleep or eat . Do I tell him that i am in love with him?
2007-05-23 07:11:16 · 10 answers · asked by Savannah smiles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just to add....... I DID NOT betray her.... She betrayed me in a devastating way almost 3 years ago.. and I have not spoken to her since. I would never have become involved with him had she and i remained friends.
2007-05-23 08:55:08 · update #1
wow that's complicated... if you guys are truly in love with eachother then i say tell him. he shouldn't have gone back if he's still thinking about you. that won't keep him focused.
2007-05-23 07:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by dooley_1027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK OK! I must say this is crazy! FIRST of all you were suppose to be her best friend!!!! That says it all....How could you betray her like that!!!! Second why should it matter if your in love with him when OBVIOUSLY he wont commit to just you if he cheated on her he will cheat on you too, why be with someone like that! Also think about the child involved here thats just awful! I think all around you should leave it alone and go on with your own life let them be and remember "KARMA" what goes around DOES come back around and usually HARDER!!!!!!!
2007-05-23 14:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mamiinkcmo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would be the point in declaring your love? He's with someone else.
You know, it's okay to not be monogamous, as long as you are honest. Anyone who cheats is a slime (worse actually) and gets what they deserve...lies and betrayal aren't what relationships are about and he's a liar and betrayer.
If he wants to be non-monogamous then he needs to tell his wife he wants an open relationship. Then he can "do" whomever he wants (if she agrees) w/o issue...same goes for you when you are involved with someone.
But what's the point of declaring love for someone who apparently has no intention of leaving his wife for you...and wouldn't be someone worth having even if he did?
What goes around, comes around...are you ready for what's coming around to you?
2007-05-23 14:16:30 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. There are other people involved here, other relationships, other families. Let's say that he leaves his current wife, you ex-best-friend. What guarantee do you have that this philanderer will be faithful to you?
He is not available to you, he is acting out a fantasy. Run in the opposite direction.
2007-05-23 14:18:33 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His wife found out he was cheating with someone that is not you??? So who is the other girl??? how many girls does he have. If you can accept that he will cheat on you as he is cheating on his wife, fine, tell him. Seems like you guys will be just fine, hope he divorce his wife, she deserves sooo much better
2007-05-23 14:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by г๏zเ -----x.♡.x----- 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cheats on his wife (with you)
he cheated on his wife with someone else.
He wanted to adopt HER daughter??
The LAST one REALLY creeps me out.
This guy is trouble.
If you do decide to see him - have your gynecologist on speed dial, b/c you WILL get genital warts, herpes, AIDS, or some other disease.
And keep Child Protective Services on speed dial. I'm not saying anything about him, but ....
2007-05-23 14:17:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just don't get caught , but I bet he tells all the girls the same thing. I wonder how many others are ther in his life.
2007-05-23 14:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by Henry Sosa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sick... run, don't walk to the nearest exit.
2007-05-23 14:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry.....i didnt read that book u just wrote but just from reading the title i say YES
2007-05-23 14:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
yeahhh..you might as well. your already too deep into it already.
2007-05-23 14:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by K.A.R.A =] 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋