my daughter in - law has a photographic memory when it comes to phone or car registration. sign of autism?

Question

she's actually quite thick, doesn't have an opinon for herself, never reads a book or paper. stares at the telly with her mouth open, head to one side. letting the kids run wild. when you try to distract her from it ,it takes seconds for my voice to sink through to her.she as no get up and go. and the house is always a mess, and i mean disgusting. but at the same time she will smother herself in fake tan, do herself up and then dress the kids, thats if they go out, most days the kids run round undressed, and she is still wearing her pyjama's. totally oblivious to the chaos going on around her. yet she has this great memory for numbers or figures, if you told her your phone number, she has no need to write it down, she can tell you it weeks months later, same with car reg, my husband needed his reg;no; how many of us can give their reg: off hand?. he went to look at his log book,, when she just reeled it off for him. maybe i am looking for excuses for her laziness. but can anyone explai

Grandchild? i was talking about my do.in.law, and i am not being horrible, i try to help, i don't call her, i am trying to get to the bottom of it all, i am telling it as i find it, not glossing it over. i don't dislike her, want to shake her perhaps, but she is the mother of my g/kids. i want explaination, not insults thanks

Answer 1

it sounds to me like depression more than autism. i'm a mother in law, also, and when i have concern for my daughter in law, it's the same as my concern for my own children. i don't think that noticing signs of depression and asking how i can help is in anyway critical. often women who are stay at home moms get into a routine and lose sight of old dreams, just as women who get stuck in dead end jobs do. you mention that she is great at fixing herself and the children up when she has somewhere to go, so perhaps it would help if she planned more outings to lift her spirits. the memory thing shows she probably is quite intelligent, but depression can prevent people from living up to their potential.

Answer 2

My memory's pretty handy, too. Wanna see a Pisces Sun/ Virgo Moon mind at work? I still remember the lyrics to a lot of the songs I listened to throughout the years. Disney songs then Backstreet Boys then Eminem then rock bands like Oasis, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Hoobastank, Incubus, Yellowcard and Avenged Sevenfold, among others. I also remember a lot of conversations I've had with people and movie quotes. In school, I can memorize facts in History and equations easily. I've played the starring role in a lot of minor plays, too. I'm an honor student. My only weakness in academics is I read slower than average. My Virgo Moon helps me memorize. My Pisces Sun helps me memorize by heart. I hope nobody thinks I'm bragging. I just wanted to share with everyone what you can achieve if you're empowered by love. I'm serious! =)

Answer 3

Sounds a lot like my sister-in-law,except for the handy memory thing.

I have a tendency to be "hypnotized" by the TV. She may be ADD. Not ADHD. The "H" stands for "hyperactivity" when certainly does not apply here.

And when you aren't like other people, you can get depressed, which compounds her other problems.

She needs to go get a job as a secretary where she can used her talents & maybe hire someone to help with the house with some of the money she earns.

I seem to be one of the few people who doesn't think you are being mean to her. It is a fair question as to how your son fits into all this. Does he help around the house. He shouldn't have to if she isn't working, but if she can't be successful as a stay-home-Mom, she should look for something she is more successful at.

Answer 4

The simple answer is no, absolutely not. The kind of autism that your assuming she has would be termed Aspergers, the mildest form. Some people with autism have a unique ability to recall things but phone numbers and car tags are rarely it much to the dismay of hollywood movie producers who portray this so often. This website will give you lots of information: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/Autism-Symptoms

Answer 5

I agree with Shannon it sounds more like she had depression.As an Adult I don't think it is autism,she would have had that since childhood.Maybe someone can convince her to go see a Dr and get on Some medication that will boost her energy and get her out of this Funk she is in.Please do keep an eye on your grand kids.Stop by to visit and check on them,there safety needs to come 1st.

Answer 6

It's tough for anyone out here in cyperspace to properly diagnose a third party. Some possibilities that come to mind are:
-undiagnosed physical illness
-a severe illness your son and dil aren't able or comfortable talking about with anyone
-depression
-mental retardation (or whichever term for it you prefer)
-some degree of autism: autism isn't all-or-nothing and isn't always properly diagnosed
-schizophrenia
-another psychiatric or neurological disorder
-substance abuse
-complete inexperience with child-rearing
...or more likely, a combination of these. That's just what I whipped out in a matter of 2 minutes.

The bigger questions here:
1) Are the children abused? Criminally neglected? If so, they need to get out of there ASAP.
2) ************How does your son fit into this?************* Does he live in the home? If he does, and loves his wife &/or children, I certainly hope he is concerned with the situation and trying hard to figure out how to improve things. This doesn't sound like a (socially) healthy home.
3) Is he or *someone* trying to get help for her? This really, really doesn't sound like simple laziness. She needs guidance and/or medical attention.
4) The situation sounds ugly. Regardless of the reason for it all, this family needs help for now with daily needs. Do you have other children? Does she have family? Are you nearby and able-bodied enough to read to a kid or sweep a floor? (...or shovel it.) Even if it doesn't seem like you belong there for some reason or another, perhaps you could send dinner over. Even if you're too far away, just sending cards or letters or packages to the kids will give them something positive in their lives.

Just a thought: maybe you could send her a card. Just to say that you thought of her and prayed she would have a good day today. Or maybe just tell her something you like about her. Only good things will come of it for her and for you.

Answer 7

I have a photographic memory for words, especially music. Some people just have quirky memories.

If you're worried about her normal attention span, and how she parents the children.... well, that's really something for her husband to talk to her about. If you think it's a medical issue you can certainly mention it, but remember to avoid the "mother in law" fiasco of seeming to interfere or judge.

She could have petit mal siezures, or ADD, or... just have a far different idea of what constitutes "housework" and "parenting" than you do.

Answer 8

all daughter in-laws have something wrong with them and so to mother-in-laws:).

no, she only has a photographic memory, so did John F. Kennedy.

Don't be jealous or be ashamed. It's not easy to live with genious, or for some of us a messy and chahotic home.

Be happy you know someone like this, it can come in handy.

Answer 9

No its not a sign of autism, just looks like you have a little predesposition against your daughter in law, shes really not that bad if you look at her. Think about it this way, there's a lot of people worse than that, without autism.

Answer 10

sounds lazy to me. if she had autism, they would of found out a long time ago. sounds like my sister in law. for years i thought she was retarded. she does seem to have a slight mental delay. her ability to learn and interact with others isn't on point.

well put, Puzzle