My mom and me are having "mother-daughter" problems, what can I do to solve it?

Question

Well it started when I realized I was failing 4 classes and my mom had just gotten me a phone. I decided to raise them and not show my mom my grades but I was really low in classes , so I pretty much had to do a lot of work. One day my mom found out and got mad and dissapointed. Now school is over and I managed to pass 2 of the classes I was failing and still failed two. My mom is stil giving me a hard time and everytime we fight she manages to tell me that it's because I don't appreciate her and that I aappreciate my friends more. That hurts me, but eventhough I've tried to talk to her, she won't understand me and I get mad at times because I know I did a bad thing, but I tried my best in fixing it, and I manages to fix some of it, but she still won't let me do anything, I think she's being harsh, isnt she??WHAT CAN I DO SO WE CAN UNDERSTAND EACHOTHER AND QUIT FIGHTING???

Answer 1

Nothing. I am 30 years old and my mother still gives me grief. We got into a fight because I disagreed with her and my dad of how they handled a situation with my baby sister. I have a right to my own opinion especially since I live in my own house with my husband and daughter. But it doesnt matter. Acceptance is the best way to go. Accept her feelings and ask that she accepts you too. You only did something wrong if you didnt try to pass those classes. Sometimes it is not easy in school and you just dont get the material. I failed my math course in college so many times they kicked me out of school for it. I got A's and B's in ALL my other classes. Some things are just harder than others.

Tell your mom you love her and give her time. Some parents put unfair unrealistic expectations on their children and when the kids dont live up to the dream they are crushed. Like they did something personally that made the outcome that way. They blame themselves for everything. She will get over it.

Answer 2

How would you feel, if your Mom had something very serious going on in her life and she kept it from you, something that would definitely involve you or your opinion of your Mother and later you found out that she kept it from you. All the while you have been going on being the best daughter you could be and would never think that she would have done something like this to you. Put yourself in her shoes, you don't mention a father, so if your Mom is a single parent, give her some slack, you deserve everything she is handing you, she is preparing you for the future, give her the biggest hug you can muster, tell her how much you love her and you never meant for it to get this far. This will be in the past before you know and all will be well with you and your Mother again. God Bless.

Answer 3

Start SHOWING her the maturity you want to have. Ok right now you cant fix your grades but you can show her you want to be better by doing other things. Clean the house without being asked...and do a good job not half a job. Help out around the house. Clean up after yourself. Always let her know you appreciate the things she does for you. When she cooks you a meal tell her how good it was and that you love her cooking. Hug her for it. When she does your laundry tell her what a great mother she is. Im not talking flattery here Im talking genuine appreciation. And pitch in and help with those things. Im not saying become a slave, just do more and do it cheefully. Then she will see you are maturing and things could get better. Then when school starts buckle down and get those grades up.

Answer 4

Life can be rough, it seems it hit mother's with menopause and teenagers at the same time.....is your mom approaching that age?
I'm sure one day you'll understand that mother's often don't feel appreciated, what you don't realize right now is just by you asking this question, you are being appreciative, you are clearly concerned with how she feels, as well as the way your own actions effect the way she feels. I am the mother of a teenager, and if I saw that he had posted a question like this, I think I would cry, as I read your post, I thought of all the times I have told him I don't feel like he appreciates me, this made me stop and wonder, does he feel this way too? If you struggling with school is all she has to worry about, not drugs, or sex or pregnancy or the law then I would say things are going pretty well. Maybe she is being harsh, but clearly she has done pretty well parenting if you are worrying yourself over this, as too many kids don't. Ask her to read this, it's a good reminder to us mom's not to leave our kids feeling unappreciated. Oh and don't go crazy with the minutes on your phone.

Answer 5

if you want to do this on your own, the first thing that both of you have to do is calm down. Nevertry to confront your mother about an issue when you are mad or when she is mad. The only thing that that will do is add more drama and who knows what else. But I would definitly look into some professional help, because there has to be more that your mother is dealing with in order to make that comment.

Answer 6

Execution would solve alot of America's problems but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Besides, you don't cure a disease by treating the symptoms and that is exactly what you would be doing if you advocate more abortions for single mothers.

Answer 7

You know what, you're wrong.

I know that you are trying to pull your grades up & whatnot, but there is no excuse for anyone to be failing 4 classes, thats just not even trying.

Sit down with your mom and be a young woman about the situation, apologize, admit that you were wrong and promise her that you'll do better. She loves you and doesn't want you out there mucking up.

Answer 8

look you are in the wrong. she buys you a cell phone and you lie to her. yes that is a lie to be sneaky and not show her your failing grades. you should be upfront and honest with her and you were not. you should be upset with yourself for making bad grades and appreciate her for buying you a cell phone. a cell phone is not a need it is a want and a priviladge!! if u needed to talk on a phoe for example and emergency i am sure u have a few quarters in your purse...and like most teens the cell is for thier usage to talk to their friends...see it is great to have friends, but u must put priorities number 1 like your future...like the grades...unless u just want to make bad grades and flip burgers or flip signs for a living instead of a good job etc... u get what i am saying here?? i hope u do~

Answer 9

hi....

first of all, let me say that you need to strive to do good work in school for YOURSELF, not for your mother or any other person.

maybe your mom is being harsh, because of her disappointment.. hopefully she will regain her faith in you as time goes by.

meanwhile, you can ask your mom if she will make some time to sit down and listen to you. tell her how you feel...

"i feel hurt... i feel misunderstood.. i feel angry... i regret my mistakes... i don't like fighting" and what ever else it is you feel.

you can tell her you would like to try to make things better between the two of you. ask her what you can do?

perhaps this will be the start of better communication between you and your mom. sometimes letting others know how we feel, and asking what we can do to improve the relationship helps to get people thinking...

take care.

Answer 10

Sit down and talk with her. Most moms wont yell or scream if the child is not yelling or screaming. Hopefully you can work this out with you and your mother.