I am currently a 21 year old college student, I am considering moving in with my boyfriend but my grandmother doesn't approve and will not go for it. This basically means I won't have to pay for the apartment, but it could also affect my studies since i have just decided to become a biology major which requires a lot of work. My grandmother wants me to get my own apartment, which i think is a good idea too..but she will be spending more money. She already pays for my school, car note & insurance, cell phone bill and credit card bill. If I move in with my boyfriend and she finds out I will be completely on my own. So should I just get my own apartment to make her happy??
2007-05-23 06:43:50 · 22 answers · asked by ms ambitious 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
**if she finds out, i'm stuck paying all my bills myself with help from my boyfriend...but paying for school is my biggest concern and i don't want to take out any loans.
2007-05-23 06:45:03 · update #1
granny is calling the shots..and i do have a job..two of them..and i'm saving money if i choose to move in with him
2007-05-23 06:52:41 · update #2
ever under any circumstances should you move in with your boyfriend and go against your grandmother. she is helping you out. you owe her respect and obiedience. finish school while living with grandma and then move out and live on your own. never dis your grannie...
2007-05-23 17:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by phoenixchi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should think long and hard before making any move that would leave you completely responsible for your finances. I did the same thing but at 18 and there was a little help from my parents which they originally said they weren't going to give. It is very hard to live on your own and go to school. I have been doing it for 4 years now and for the last 5 months, with the help of my boyfriend. It is really convenient when they are there for you but you have to always be open to the possibility that they might not always be there for you, and then what? you are super stuck! But anyway, just take time and think it through really good because it is hard work on your own!
2007-05-23 06:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont' you weigh the odds and consider YOUR happiness and especially your future.
do you really have to move in with the boyfriend? you know, he is not responsible for your credit card bill (and others) and i doubt he will pay for them anyway...
i don't see why you'd need an apartment of your own, either. you must live with your grandmother now, right? If she has been so generous to allow you to live with her, and help you in such huge ways, you're probably better off with her or your own apartment....
don't become a sneak and move in with your boyfriend behind anyone's back... either get your own place, or let others know you'll be living with your boyfriend.
the decision is up to you... but like i said, you can't MAKE others happy.
i'm sure you are busy with college... and that you have goals and plans.. consider those before you make any drastic moves...and take care of YOU.. xo
2007-05-23 07:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like you yourself are convinced that moving in with your boyfriend is something you truly want to do. You said yourself that you think it is a good idea for you to have your own place so that you can focus on your schoolwork. Having your own place would allow you to stay at his house when you want and vice versa. It also keeps your studies separate and your grandma happy. Living with a boyfriend is not always as great as it seems. Sometimes it ends up ruining the relationship. Give it time! Hope this helps.
2007-05-23 06:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by hillsfan19 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Make her happy ??" did you say? and I quote "which i think is a good idea too..." Well is it a good idea cuz you think so or are you being rebellious cuz you yearn to do what you want? Which you could but just cuz you can do something doesnt mean you should.
So would you be doing it for her, or for you? and if you move into yer BF's place would that be for him or for you? But you just wanna have "fun!!" cuz yer working and studying so hard that the only recreation you get is "hanging out" And if you fail some classes or flunk out all together because you move in w/ BF and you have to work and you start stressing to keep up with all those bills(how much in total?) And become a waitress or retail slave hating yer boss, cuz yer not in school and nowhere near being a Biologist. Then you start regretting your mistake and you realize that ........
OMG!!! C'MON DUDE!!! have you not seen these stories on TV!! You are probably thinking of the fake reality portrayed on TV. LISTEN UP GIRLS LIFE IS NOT "SEX AND THE CITY"!! Working and school is HARD!!! Actually I cant think of a show that protrays the real harshness of living on yer own w/ no degree. You have got a good deal going. Yes it sucks being under the thumb of yer grandma, but it sucks even more when your struggling to keep up with daily living. Have you heard that college students eat Ramen noodles all the time ya know why? cuz theyre poor and they aint got no one to cook for em'. Here try this test. Get a job to pay for yer car note and insurance, and let Grandma pay for eveything else, see how hard it is to make those payments (and on time) it takes self discipline to not spend your money, ask the 60 million people in debt. It easy to f**k it up. Now you notice How I didnt even discuss the benefits of your freedom from grandma? Which is you get to do what you want? So now you have some privacy and the chance to be on yer own. BFD!!! But yer not gonna have enough time to enjoy your "Liberation" cuz yer working and then you get so F'ing tired. How does your BF support you now? Believe me most guys urge to wanna have sex cloud their better judgement. Thats why they cheat on their sweethearts, its how come girls get pregnant, its why some men have a little something on the side ---its a strong impulse, I know Im thinking about sex 98% of the time. Does he care about you (you who is trying to accomplish a goal.) Wont this disrupt the ability to accomplish this goal of yours Or does he care more about whats in them panties! If you have your own place your BF can spend the nite at least. But you will maintain the resources you need to survive while you accomplish your goals. Hey what are your big goals? Let that be your compass. Im done. Love ya--kisskiss
2007-05-25 05:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all moving in with your boyfriend because of financial reasons is no reason at all. Second , most people that live together and then get married end in divorce. Third, keeping a lie to your grandmother going will be taxing on your heart.
What if it doesn't work out, there's a lot of drama that goes with it, where will you go when you fight. That day to day of trying to live with him will hurt your ability to study and focus on school.
Basically it's not a wise move.
2007-05-23 06:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by his.grace 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I experienced the same situation. I chose to move in with my boyfriend and got cut off. It was very hard, took out loans got jobs, etc.etc. Only you can answer this decision if he's worth the wait. Ultimately, we broke up because I realized he was getting the milk for free and comfortable. If you get your own place, he can visit as much as he likes and spend many nights. Hindsight is 20/20, your education should always come first. If he truly loves you, (and you love him), he won't mind waiting until you get to a point in your education where you can both afford to live together. Good Luck!
2007-05-23 06:51:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that you need to stop depending on other people to help you live out your life. I know that being on your own is hard but you are a grown a$s woman! U should cancel some of that stuff that you have already so you can get YOUR OWN apartment and stop havin your grandma pay for everything! Live on your own for a while. And stop making other people take care of you honey, Im not trying to be mean... just truthful.
Good Luck on your decision
2007-05-23 06:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by omarigirl91 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your question should be "am I a Free loader ?". gosh, your grandmother pays for everything and still you think it's about your boyfriend? I think you should get your own apartment with your own money, get a job, work hard for what you have and appreciate the help your grandmother gives you. You shouldn't rely on your grandmother for money. If you think your old enough and responsible enough to live with your boyfriend, then you should be responsible enough to pay your own bills and expenses!!!
2007-05-23 06:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My gosh so long >.<. I study it although! =D besides i imagine you ought to describe to him both, he dreads about a lot as having a bathtub and ingesting water popular and dieing from some affliction, or advance up and pass out for some change the position he gained't should be scared to drink some water, if he would not opt to, basically go away there, and tell him this is his own fault if something occurs. possibly threaten you gained't round there anymore if he continues to be there, so he will be seeing a lot less of you and he can stay there consisting of his roomate contained in the infested appartment always. =D
2016-10-18 09:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im with your grandmother. Finish your education first.
What if you get cut off and things dont work out with him?
So many women end up saboting their own education and career for some guy and regret it down the road. Get your own place so you have the quiet and less stress to study. You can still make time for your boyfriend.
2007-05-23 06:55:16 · answer #11 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋