why can't i get the 'o'?!?

Question

I am about 3 years into my s*e*x* life and I've only been able to get an O when i do myself, but not when others do me... WTF is wrong me??!!! Any suggestions to reach this level? I mean, i want to experience this O once in my life... okay more than once, but you know. Thanks for any advice. *muah*

Answer 1

You need to be very communicative with your partner. Tell him what really works for you and especially what doesn't. I know when my wife is getting close, because I can read her reactions. I have learned the little touches that put her over the top and can control the intensity of her o's as well.

You need to know you first, though it sounds like you do. Just tell your partner how to help you get there. And DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. If you're hung up on getting there, you're interfering with getting there!!

Answer 2

Wrong guy's, Not enough foreplay. Your nervous. Anxiety.

You know you can have the big O but just not with other people. It seems to be the big object in the way is the person or people your with. Maybe they just aren't doing something right. I know from experience that some women won't do it in certain positions or at least it's harder one way then the other. Try being on top, on the bottom on your head try everything you can.

It could be the foreplay too. Foreplay sets the mood for how good sex turns out to be. If your just taking your clothes off having sex and getting off there is nothing there to really stimulate you. Try doing something extra. See if he will go down or use his fingers and see if that does it for you. You have to figure out he can do to you what you do to yourself. You have to have some kind of build up to be able to get to the big O.

The other thing you can do is tease the person your with, nibble on this or that. Don't kiss him when he wants you too, little things like that. He will mirror what you do and in turn the foreplay gets better and the sex becomes more exciting and eventually you will figure out the big O problem.

Hope that helps

Answer 3

Hmm.... Maybe you are thinking about it too much. Sometimes your mind is wondering about other things that keeps you from reaching that big climax. I know when I was younger I couldn't concentrate on getting mines because I was so afraid about getting caught. So I would try to relax more and let yourself go in the moment.

There has also been a time when my boyfriend would get his a little faster than I would get mines. Don't be afraid to let them no that you are not finish yet. There is other things you and the person can do to finish the job if they have already finished. Just don't say it harsh or you might just hurt their ego just a Lil bit.

Good Luck on that nut! LMAO

Answer 4

Thank goodness you can do it yourself! Some women can't even do that! So, consider yourself blessed there! But, for the "o" with your partner?...I really think that it needs to be with someone you can trust, relax with, and communicate with. Even then, many woman have trouble cumming with intercourse alone...your clitoris needs the similar stimulation as YOU give it when you are doing it yourself. So, woman on top position is a great option because you can use their pelvic area to grind on (sorry don't mean to sound vulgar) and keep the pressure and pace that you feel good with. ALSO...the "best/personal fave" is: your partner behind you, starting in 'doggie style', then moving to flat on your belly with him laying on your back or holding himself up while he is inside of you. This way you can cup your hand, fingers, whichever you prefer, onto yourself and 'get off' this way. OR: He can lay on his back while you lay back onto him. While he is inside of you, you can then use your hand, fingers to 'help yourself' from this position. Sorry I hope I helped. Hope the explanation/descriptions make sense. Straightforward without being vulgar and all! Good Luck! And---keep "practicing"...the more you know your body the better you will be able to "o" with a partner (helping yourself) AND the better you'll be able to communicate to them exactly what you need. Have Fun!

Answer 5

I totally here u. Same situation w/me. I spoke to my doc about it & he suggested more foreplay or incorporating toys into the lovemaking. Most women are in similar situations. I have yet to crack the code, & I think it's because I haven't forund the right guy who takes the time to do all the foreplay needed and who I feel totally comfortable with.
My advise:
-have your boy do to u the same thing u do when ur alone
-buy a book of positions & try them all until u find one you like
-oral may work for u & if it does, that's what usually works for most women
-incorporate toys into the lovemaking if all else fails; it's still making love, just with a little added pleasure
-RELAX...biggest thing...don't worry about the "O," worry about enjoying it

Good luck!

Answer 6

Most women have a hard time "o"ing from the standard position. You on top or doggy will give you a much better chance to getting there. More contact with the part of you that matters. Otherwise, have your BF do more foreplay and only enter you when you're close. It works every time.

Answer 7

i think you have been talking to women who lie a lot about there sex life. if a lot of women have told you they get an o from there boyfriends they are lying. please don't feel like this is your fault. only about 20% of American women can have an orgasm with just plain intercourse. LUCKY GIRLS!!!! but for those of us who can only have an o with clitoral stimulation we have to work extra hard at sex to finish. when you do it yourself take mental notes on how you do things, then next time your with a guy grab his hand and show him how you want things done. FYI men LOVE to be shown new things when it comes to sex. if your man is a little freaked out about new things though try this.... during sex grab his hand, look at him in the eyes and say "you know what really gets me going???" and THEN show him. this way it will be kinda like dirty talk yet your getting what you want.

good luck and have fun ;)

Answer 8

that used to happen to me previous to the love of my life the second time i did it with my boyfriend oh lord it was like wow.. and ever since i have even got multiples so i found out that it feels better right when you do it with the man you love. Maybe sleeping around is not for you try to get into a serious relationship and experience love and you might get an "O" lol

Answer 9

Alot of women don't have an orgasm by intercourse alone. Is that the case with you? Or is it anything that a man does? Is the men you are having sex with experienced? The it's also possible that you are so worked up about having the "o" that it's not happening.

Answer 10

It's quite normal for a young lady your age to have this problem. I would suggest that you be patient and when the right partner comes along it will naturally happen in all likelyhood.