I overheard my hubby talking about me real bad with his brother.His brother said alot of things he had no business...alot of mean things like I'm stupid and crazy and he should leave me..Im so upset and hurt that brother in law was talking about me like this and hubby was encouraging it.what should I do?
2007-05-23 06:06:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your husband you over heard the conversation. Let him know your feelings are hurt. I would be more worried about my husband talking bad about me than i would his brother. You're not married to his brother so who cares! Its your husband you needs to do some explaining.
2007-05-23 06:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by THEMURPHSTER 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you were meant to hear it and honestly everyone is entitled to their opinion.
How does your hubby feel about you? Honestly? Did the two of you have an argument resently that maybe he's still steaming over? Not that I'm justifying his encouragement to what his brother said of you, ideally your hubby should have stuck up for you, but we all tend to vent at some point or another. Perhaps what he said was really meaningless and isn't a reflection of what your hubby truly feels for you? Sorry I'm just trying to be encouraging and see all possible angles.
Subtly ask your hubby if he's happy with you and talk about how much you love him see what his reaction is, I bet it'll be positive.
You are NOT stupid or crazy - (I don't know you but...well you know...) Tell yourself you are smart and capable of anything!
2007-05-23 13:36:28 · answer #2 · answered by JD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should talk to your husband. You should ask him to tell you face to face the problems that his has with you and that he should discuss them with you before talking to anyone else.
As far as your brother-in-law is concerned, you may feel like it's not his place but if your husband involved him then you can't expect his brother not to give his opinion (imagine if you wanted to complain about your husband to your mother, sister or best friend- they'd say exactly what they felt and probably take your side too). If he dislikes you this cannot be helped. Aside from the stigma that in-laws don't get along, certain people just don't mix. As least you know now how he feels about you and you can keep your distance, as much as possible, from him. But you are right in that he should not try to come between you and your husband.
Obviously, you and your husband have some issues that you may or may not be aware of. Forget about the brother for a moment and concentrate on your relationship. What your brother-in-law said is not important, but what your husband said is. Of course general insults like stupid and crazy have no meaning- but consider the specific complaints about you. Be honest with yourself and try to see if there is any truth to some of the things that your husband said. Then tell him how hurt you are that he trashed you to his family and didn't feel like he could talk to you about your personal problems. He may have just been angry and not meant everything but felt like he couldn't express those feelings to you. Communication is one if not *the* most important elements of relationships.
2007-05-23 13:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by shosha_tiqo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk things over with your husband.
We don't have any idea what your husband is thinking. He could have just been blowing off steam or "showing off" to his brother (guys do that sometimes).
You make no mention if things have been difficult between you two lately, or if this is just something out of the blue.
Bottom line, your husband has the answers....
Best wishes and good luck!
2007-05-23 13:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by ricksgirl1007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit them down together and talk with the both of them, its not fair for the brother in law to be saying all these things when he has only heard one side of every story. of course its natural for brothers to take each others sides but get your opinion in as well, dont keep your mouth shut, defend yourself, and if your husband isnt willing to stick up for you or at least say yeah im mad but dont talk about her that way, then think about what a relationship you have together and ask yourself if it's worth it, if he's willing to allow you to be talked about this way, then what other ways is he willing to hurt you? let him know that you wont tolerate it, put him in your shoes, and let him understand how that feels.
2007-05-23 13:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by KINGs girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! that sucks... Obviously your hubby has no respect for you. You should talk to him about it. Maybe he was just venting but his brother has no right to bash you. If your husband allowed it, it will happen over and over again eventually causing a confrontation to happen between you and your brother-in-Law.
2007-05-23 13:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ann D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. Let him know that you over heard what was said and didn't know that he felt this way about you. Really let it all out. Just remember that people are always going to talk about you. It's not what they call you that matters, it's what you answer to that counts.
2007-05-23 13:13:33 · answer #7 · answered by Bunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys do that weird sh** sometimes and they might not even be serious, just releasing testoserone. Women do it too. Tell him they hurt your feelings and give him a chance to explain. We'll never figure out male bonding just the same as men will never figure out women.
2007-05-23 13:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is anything that he said true or founded? if so work on self improvement... if not... improve yourself by dumping the SOB.
if the situation is as bad as that and you are SURE that they were talking about YOU... then you deserve to be treated better
2007-05-23 13:11:24 · answer #9 · answered by Kimberlie H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to them about it duh!
2007-05-23 13:09:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋