Ok, my baby's mama 11yr old, is having a hard time listening to what we tell her. How do i go about disciplinig her. Her mother has already gave me permission to spank her, but I'm having a hard time doing it.
2007-05-23 05:29:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you DONT spank an 11 year old. wtf thats nasty.
2007-05-23 06:26:48 · answer #1 · answered by Susana M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, good luck if she's never had a spanking in her life. I think she's getting a bit too old for a butt twapping anyways. The kids these days would problably make some sick remark about that anyways despite the need for it after parental decision and according to the pushing of the child. There is too much perverted talk going around so I'd stay away from that as much as possible. A spanking should be the big one - the ultimate "you cannot defy us".
However 11-year-olds that make the decision to completely disobey their parents can be:
grounded
have their priviledges taken away
loose the use of the phone
have something they want cancelled
etc....
Just don't act like a doormat to the child just because your a step-parent. It sends the signal that mom's the heavy and your the guy with the brownie points. That would later turn into my mom's a b....and my step-dad gets picked on with me me me. My hubby has been there and if he could take his lightweight parenting back he would...
PS...you are "dad" in that home and she needs to know you love her which also includes discipline.
2007-05-23 05:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you don't spank any child. I'm sure you don't like to be hit so why would you think a child does. The 11 year old child has two parents and your not one of them so even with permission you should not disciline her. It's not your job. Mom should step up and set the rules and then follow thru' with the punishment. Go to the library and get a book on how to talk to your pre teen. There's alot out there.
2007-05-23 14:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a predicament you and yours are in.... The "blended family" of today isn't that of your parents. You may have "permission" to spank, but that doesn't make it right. At eleven, they are really too old for spankings. You're dealing with respect/authority issues and if you don't get a grip now, by sixteen, you and your wife will have lost the battle. Because this is your wife's child, she must get things into prospective. You can tell your step-daughter things to do, but must follow through. An example is, if you don't clean your room, then you can't have/do whatever her favorite activity/hobby is. Then DO IT. Don't slide....she wins and you're back to square one. I really suggest going to the library and getting some books to help your family. Books by Dr. Laura Schlenger are most helpful. You may not agree with her religion or some other views but she returns you to basic core values of family, pride, values and virtue. Good Luck~
2007-05-23 05:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by fishinmomma 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time outs! My baby's daddy has a five year old that has a hard time with talking back and listening. My punishment is a time out in a quiet room with no tv, sounds, toys, or anything. Either on a chair in the middle of the room or just on the floor. And even if she screams, I let her sit there for longer until she can just sit there until I let her out.
If that still progresses at anouther time, and she keeps disobeying, I take toys and hide them for 1 week. I will take 1 toy for every disobedient thing she does. That one really works.
2007-05-23 05:45:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, spanking isn't my favorite form of discipline, and at 11, she's getting a little old for that anyway. How about with-drawing treats or activities for bad behavior and rewards for things well done? Consistency is the biggest thing, so you and your wife will need to show a united front in whatever you decide to do.
2007-05-23 05:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
spanking isn't a very good form of discipline and it doesn't instill good behavior, but fear. do you want the child to be afraid of you, or to respect and listen?
you didn't mention the things you are having trouble with when it comes to the child, so it's hard to give good advice; however, i've found a couple of websites which might help you to communicate and interact with your step daughter in a more adult, and efficient manner.
remember, kids are people with feelings, too... and she might look upon you as an intruder or even possibly someone who has "taken her mother from her".... you have to give her time to adjust to you, as well.
she will learn to respect you when you respect HER first.
i hope these websites help. lots of good information.
2007-05-23 06:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need to be on the same page and not let her get away with her crap. start taking stuff away. i had the same problem with my son not listening to my fiance because I would still give in once and awhile, now we are both working together and my son knows it and is much better behaved.
2007-05-23 06:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by kei 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u don't have to hurt her just sit down and talk with her and her mom and say she needs to listen to u and blah blah blah all that kind of stuff...
2007-05-23 06:04:54 · answer #9 · answered by pom princess 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is for her to work out. you are just the hang around boyfriend.
2007-05-23 05:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by Bones 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bare her naughty bottom and spank it.
2007-05-23 14:09:46 · answer #11 · answered by tm41170 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋