Ok, im 18 i have a daughter name kaydence and her father michael, michael and i are split up, i have a new boyfriend and he has a new girlfriend-which also has a kid.
My boyfriend ryan does eveything for me and kaydence she is starting to talk and shes calling him da-da. Michael which i know he loves her bit he dosent do anything for her, he is controlling and emotionally abusive. His girlfriend brittanie bought kaydence's diapers and wipes when it is michaels job to do it, he only wants kaydence when something is going on like a party or somthing, he never wants her, just to have her while she see's ryan eveyday and loves him while he loves her.
Ryan likes the fact of kaydence calling her dad.
Should I let Michael have her on Fathers day or Ryan? plz help.
Oh yeah, Michael refuses to pay child support
I Know they both love her
Who should i choose??? help!
2007-05-23 05:24:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This sounds like an awkward situation so maybe you could come to some arrangement with both or them & they have her half a day each.
If the babies biological father would cause problems for you about this maybe you could tell a little white lie that you want to go out with your father and he wants her there?
Hope you manage to sort it.
2007-05-23 05:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by **sparkleprincess** 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that you will agree with my answer as it seems that you are thinking only one side of the spectrum, as follows -
First off, the fact that Michael's girlfriend purchases diapers and wipes for you child should make you feel content in the fact that she is attempting to be loving toward your child. The fact that he should or should not be purchasing them is none of your concern. You concern should simply remain with the fact that Kaydence is being cared for.
Your child should not be allow to call Ryan "Da Da" - While you may love this man, and while this man may treat her like his own daughter - the simple fact is that he is not. Perhaps if you stated that Michael was never in the picture, would my reaction be different. Michael is Kaydence's father, not Ryan.
You sound as if you have a lot of animosity toward your ex. However, the both of you engaged in bearing a child, and that child should not be a pawn in your arguments. Be proud that he is involved in the child's life and simply not a bystander. Your child needs her father as much as she needs you.
To rise above this animosity and to think only of your child is one of the most difficult things you could ever do. The simple fact that you are stating that he is emotionally abusive shows that you are not working towards this goal. Should you truly feel that he is abusive, then you would have engaged the services of a forensic psychologist and had his visitation removed.
Another point that I wanted to mention is that by not working with your ex, you are simply building a future case opposed to yourself should he and his new girlfriend decide to visit the custody issue in court. Your best defense to this is by working WITH your ex, for the benefit of your child.
While your scenario is rough, remember that the only permanent items in your daughters life is your ex and yourself. Be happy that others are there to share their love with your daughter, to know that she is surrounded by people who care for her.
You rational for keeping the child on Fathers Day due to child support is a mute point. While I agree that he should pay child support, what actions have you taken to legally obligate him towards child support. Family Court is free in all states and while it might consume some of your time, the courts will order and place judgment on him to pay - regardless of his point of view. You are entitled to child support in the amount of 17% of his gross pay less FICA and 50% of child care, and 50% of Medical Insurance and 50% of the value of extracurricular activities. Those amounts are above and beyond the cost of child support.
To answer your question - Micheal should have his daughter on Fathers Day
2007-05-23 05:45:38 · answer #2 · answered by ForensicAccountant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, I can't believe you brought another man into your daughters life. him either but now that you did you have to work all this non sence out. The father is the father and the boyfriend is just YOUR boyfriend.
I speak from the fact that I am the dad with custody of the kids. I have not even tried to look for another girlfriend because my kids do not need something like that in their lives right now. I make the sacrifice so they do not have to. Maybe when I am 40 I can start dating again.
2007-05-23 05:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by Bones 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I would say her biological father, but in this case let her spend Father's Day with a man who has actually been her father.
The problem here is your ex wants the title without any of the work. Your ex needs to be told that the only person at fault here is himself. If he wanted his daughter to see him as her father then he should have been there for her....not just on special events when he takes her more because it's probably what his family wants.
Honestly, there's really not a ton of things you can do. No one can force someone to have a relationship with anyone if they don't desire it. You can however, go to court and have child support enforced.
2007-05-23 05:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lwood 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you go to the court house and file for child support they will make him pay. Now with the child support laws if he doesn't pay he goes to jail. You need to do what is best for the child. You need to get your paper work together and go to court.
Now Michael is her father no matter what. Maybe it will take him some time to be able to step up to the plate and be responsible for her. As long as your BF doesn't mind being there then she has the best of booth worlds. Split the day in 1/2 between the booth of them and everyone wins.
2007-05-23 05:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you have a very sensitive siutation here and you have to put a lot of thought into the solution. if your new boyfriend Ryan is taking more care of her when he isn't even the father, i think it would be wrong to leave him out on fathers day. you have to remember that even though you love Ryan, he can still leave you if he doesn't feel appreciated, especially when you guys are so young and your daughter isn't his. so, whatever you do, include ryan. as for the baby's biological father, if he really isn't in the child's life, chances are he may not even care about fathers day. if you really get stuck do something for both guys.
2007-05-23 05:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and her and Ryan should spend fathers day together. Ryan is the father figure in her life, and if Michael isn't gonna pay child support than he shouldn't get to see her at all. Just because he is her biological father doesn't mean that he deserves the 'da-da' position in her life.
2007-05-23 05:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by ~*Jackie*~ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They both love her? Lets see you said he doesnt want to see her unless there is a party going on...then you said one of them is controlling and abusive and you call that love?
You are one very mixed up broad. The drama going on here is that you dont know how to pick responsible loving caring men.
I predict your child will be pregnant by the time she is 14 because she will be so desperate for someone to love her. Right now she has no one. And dont tell me you love her because the environment you put her in is appalling.
2007-05-23 05:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since Michael is her father (regardless of anything else) he should be Daddy.
Ryan is still just a boyfriend, so you can address this issue with him later if you guys get married.
2007-05-23 05:30:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mama J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may. Male cats have been known to kill the babies. Now would be a really good time to get the male cat fixed. Mama cat can go in heat as early as 4 weeks after the birth of the kittens.
2016-05-20 23:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋