A few months ago, at the college I go to, I met a girl. I kinda knew she liked me and was interested as I caught her staring over at me in class a few times. She finally approached me one day and asked if I would want to hang out with her sometime. We Hung out twice and I hugged her after the first time hanging out. After the second time hanging out, She didnt return my calls and ignored me for about a week, until she finally told me what bothered her. She was expecting I kiss her that last time we hung out. I patched things up with her, and hung out with her once more, this time I hesitated a bit, but finally kissed her. She then sent me an email saying that I was a great guy and everything but was "too nice"! She had dated guys who cheated on her, yet I was too nice? I just don't get it at all. This girl was attracted to me and seemed to have a good time with me when we were hanging out, yet I was too nice, and now she does not speak to me at all or reply to my emails?!
2007-05-23 05:19:08 · 22 answers · asked by Undisputed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A lot of girls won't make the first move, so even if they REALLY want to kiss you, they'll just sit back and wait for you to initiate it. Spending hours thinking about kissing a guy while nothing happens can be a bit torturous. (Keep in mind that the problems aren't your fault - it's her fault if she is torturing herself by waiting for you to make a move)
1) Find a girl who is willing to initiate, or at least is able to deal with you wanting to take things more slowly. (As girls get older, they tend to become more comfortable with initiating things).
2) Learn to initiate things yourself. Some of the "nice guys" I've dated have done things like ask "Is it okay if I kiss you?" which meshes well with their nice guy style.
3) Make sure that your girl knows that you're interested in her romantically and not just as a friend. Tell her that her eyes are beautiful. Charm her. Put your hand lightly on her arm, her knee, etc. while you're talking. If you're not comfortable kissing on the first date that's fine, but a little bit of touching goes a long way :)
With your girl, I'd recommend getting her flowers with a note saying "I adore you" (or Je t'adore if you want to say it in French). Maybe toss in a line or two about her soft skin or something if you're feeling brave. If this gal is worth it, shoot for the moon. Take a few risks :)
2007-05-23 05:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by alerichan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I apologize, however, that is the problem with some women today. We want to be respected, however, we don't want a nice and respectable man. Listen, or look....whatever, don't change anything. It looks like she needs to change. If she doesn't, she'll be going no where fast. She contradicted herself by saying she was cheated on but your too nice. It was basically her loss. Don't settle for someone like that. I have never been interested in "Bad" guys. It's because I had a father who showed me nothing but the best. As a result, I have a wonderful man I am about to marry. You're good dude. Just stumbled across an idiot who doesn't know what she wants.
2007-05-23 05:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by China Doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if she thinks like i do.. BUt i like a guy that has a soft nice side, but also the rough questionable side.. gives a relationship a lil zing ya know! and when the guy is too nice im scared that I'll hurt him, or use him and not even know what I did or why I did it or anything. Or thats her way of just being nice on saying she'd rather be your friend :( there is many things that this could me.. Im sorry!
2007-05-23 05:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont be an asshole. Girls are just sayin that because they are either immature and/or not used to guys being polite which is sad but true. The guys that are assholes are the ones that cant make a relationship last and end up being disregarded by chicks when they're older.
2016-05-20 23:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's messed up in the head. She just wants you to read her mind and you can't. She probably wants more physical things without asking. She can't communicate and any relationship with her will be drama filled and pointless. You're a nice guy. Go look for a nice girl.
2007-05-23 05:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, it's true that nice guys usually don't get the girls. You have to be more assertive and aggressive with women, but not rude. The reason that nice guys don't get girls is because - they act too submissive or wussy, and they are too needy and clingy (calling or e-mailing too often).
You can't treat women special (like putting them on a pedastal) - treat them like a buddy, and play around and joke around. Otherwise, if you pay too much attention and you are too complimentary and treat them too nice, they will get turned off. Joke more often, and be cocky and confident. And don't give them too much attention - go out with your friends and date other girls also.
2007-05-23 05:27:28 · answer #6 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's easier said than done, but try to forget about her! Unfortunately, there are some women out there who actually like "bad boys", because they think they're more exciting. Sometimes these women have low self-esteem, so they let guys treat them like crap. Also, when you are with a woman, you should be assertive. That's not to say that you should be overly aggressive and domineering, but you should display confidence and not let yourself be a pushover. Also, don't be quick to open both your heart and your pocketbook. Don't lavish her with all sorts of gifts early on.GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-05-23 06:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by tangerine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys are so few and far between, please don't change the way you are!
I would move on to someone who thinks a little more like you do.
Not every girl likes to make out on the first date. (Thank God!) Why chase after someone like that when she keeps pushing you away? Some girls like her actually keep looking for the type of guy that cheated on them, it's like they are trying to fix something by dating that kind of guy.
Best of luck to you, and don't change a thing!
2007-05-23 09:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there i know what is her problem shes so used to being treated like **** that she just doesnt know any different and usually bad guys are only nice for one reson dont change shell either wise up or another grl will come around and maybe she doesnt think you really like her because you being nice to her crazy but true when you get treated bad you kinda expect it from everyone and when a guy or gal doesnt try something on u u think they dont like u like that jus talk to her or maybe she not so nice either dont change 4 anyone!
2007-05-23 05:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by lifesucksforreal2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its usually true when they say nice guys finish last, but i think they mean for the girls. think about it....i dated a ton of jerks before i realized what i was doing wrong. then i met a wonderful guy, so sweet. if i would have met him before all the others i probably wouldnt have given him a chance. it took all those bad guys for me to see what i was missing.
dont be a pushover, be confident. be a strong independent that allows your partner to be the same. but do not change. one day you will meet a girl who will appreciate your goodness and she will think you "saved her" from all those jerks.
2007-05-23 05:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋