Okay so I was in a relationship with this guy for a year and 1/2. I was completely in love with him and when he broke up with me, it broke my heart. A few months after we had broken up I started dating one of my best friends, now I am with him and completely happy with him and it's amazing having a best friend as my boyfriend. The problem is, I still find myself thinking about the guy that I was with for a year and a 1/2. I still love the guy, and sometimes I imagine what it would be like to still be with him. Don't get me wrong, I completely love and care for my now boyfriend, but I just feel weird that I dream/think about my ex a lot. (my ex is an ****** and I wouldn't get back with him so it's not a cheating issue). My question I guess is, is it normal for me to still think about him all the time?
2007-05-23 04:40:28 · 39 answers · asked by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ABSOLUTELY NORMAL... if you didn't think about him, you were never really in love. Stop being hard on yourself...with time all of it will deminish somewhat. You will always...have some of these thought, flash backs to when, what if's. Just as long as you don't let it interfer with you current relationship.
I tend to find best friends make the best relationships by the way...they know you and your faults and love you anyways...good luck and be happy!!
2007-05-23 04:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your question, you say:
'I still love the guy, and sometimes I imagine what it would be like to still be with him.'
You say you are 'completely happy' with your new boyfriend and you love him too. That may mean that you are completely happy to be someone who doesn't heap crap on you like your old boyfriend did. That must be a tremendous relief - enough to make you 'completely happy.' But you talk about still loving your old boyfriend. So which is it that you want - complete happiness or love with an ******?
You can't have both. Pick one and then work on it. Oh, wait a minute - you say your ex, the ******, broke up with you! Wow, he IS a jerk! Are you sure your pride isn't hurt a whole lot and that makes you imagine what life would be like with your ex, also; a kind of revenge - a 'See, I told you you wouldn't be able to live without me!' kind of thing?
Long term, I think working on a relationship with mutual respect and 'complete happiness' beats all the nasty hurt you're going to accumulate even if you could have another chance with your ex. So swallow your pride and admit your ex is ex for a good reason and you got the better deal with your new boyfriend/best friend.
2007-05-23 05:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were in love with the year and half guy, a few months does seem like a short time to make another committment. When you have a best friend to lean on I'd assume it makes it easy to care for that person and get invloved in another relationship.
All in all, if the ex was an ******, get him out of your head. Getting physically and emotionally invloved with a good friend won't do that. What you will end up doing is screwing up your friendship, and ruining your chance of getting back with your Ex if you wanted to; b/c who wants to go back with someone who they can't trust to be "just friends" with someone. There has to be a reason you still dream of him, or still care about him. Your best bet is to find those things in a new person, who isn't an ******, and who isn't a friend.
If I could assume a reason why you still dream and think of him, it is probably b/c of a lack of closure. A lack of closure can make someone "think" till their blue in the face. This thinking keeps that person in their head. They repeatedly think of the good times so they can say to themselves "with all those good things why would they do what they did, it just makes no sense". The problem is, a good percentage of people "Don't make sense", or at least they don't care to make sense. We can't do anything about these people. I think you know what you should do...
2007-05-23 04:55:36 · answer #3 · answered by docfroid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its perfectly normal. Once you grow attached to someone, whether you're in love or just bonding, you're going to feel a desire to be around that person. I dated this girl for a while. Everything seemed perfect. But then things happened... I wont go into detail, but it was bad. Eventually, we broke up, or she broke up with me. That was nearly a year ago. I still have nightmares about it and it bothers me a lot. Even on a day that I couldn't imagine being any better, I might find myself thinking about it and I die inside. I feel sick, and I get depressed. That usually lasts for about a week at a time. So yes, its normal.
2007-05-23 04:53:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because you jumped into what you call a rebound relationship..only a few months has passed since u broke up with ur ex. God why do people do that? I'm so sick of people that get out of long term relationship and call themselves falling in love with someone new when really they are not over the ex and it the new person always gets hurt in the middle of ur mess! Either way whether you cheat or not if and when your bf finds out about you still thinking about/in love with ur ex he is going to be hurt. trust me it hurts worse than just having sex with some random person.
2007-05-23 04:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly how you feel. i was in what i thought was the greatest relationship ever for a year and a half when my bf broke up with me. i was out of town and when i came back he told all of his friends that we had sex and spread crazy rumors about me. now im with the closest friend that ive had in a while and things are great, but every now and then, when im alone, i think of what it would be like if we were still together and my heart imagines pixies and daisies but my mind knows that it would be a ruin inside so i change my mind to a different topic. i dont think i'll ever forget him, he was my first love, most girls that i talk to still remember their first love and miss the feeling but not the guy.
2007-05-23 04:47:49 · answer #6 · answered by Rebel Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not solve the issue within yourself, it has nothing to do with lovin the ex. I had a friend and somebody made us apart, we were very close, (totally asexual relationship), like two normal girls who are best friends. For a long time I thought that I was the one that made the mistake. I dreamed lots of dreams about her, and one day when somebody hurt me bad that I was crying, she came to me and said the most gentle words that I'll remeber forever. I never dreamed of her again.
So unsolved issues make very colorfull dreams, but you have to solve the situation either in reality, either psychologically.
2007-05-23 04:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by Wintermute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to think of your relationship with him, perhaps just because you are so happy now and wonder why you wasted that 1-1/2 years with a jerk. Just don't let your thoughts of him make you question or injure the great relationship you have now. Be happy!
2007-05-23 04:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by classic1957gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal for someone to still think of her ex when the reason of the break up is not really a bad one which might make you hate him. so, i suggest that you should mend you heart and soul and mind up and get prepared before getting involve in another relationship. but since you are already in one now, cherish your current bf. try not to think about your ex too much or it will hurt your current bf in a way or another sooner or later. dont force yourself to forget your ex either bcoz this will make you end up in missing him even more. so, try to remind yourself that you already have someone you love dearly and loves you back in return too when ever u think of your ex. cherish the one who is for you now rather than looking back into the pass. move forward and let time slowly wash away your feelings towards your ex. ;) good luck. wish you happiness. =)
2007-05-23 04:48:21 · answer #9 · answered by colver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This actually sounds normal, especially if he was your FIRST LOVE. Was he? From personal experience it took me a while to get over my ex that broke my heart. You are a strong person for not willing to get back with your ex. I wish you the best with your new boyfriend!
2007-05-23 04:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by black97accord 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋