Was I mean to my Kid ?

Question

My 12 year old kid has a blog with 4 other kids. One of the other kids is the owner of the blog.
The other day, I was reading it (I track web activity through monitoring software), and one of the kids called her a b***h. He also locked her out of being able to post to the site (as the owner). Reading further, the kids (mostly the other kids) had made some very inappropriate comments like blasting other kids in their school. There were other posts where two of the kids posted their telephone numbers on the blog.

Long story short, I flipped, called the parent of the owner of the blog and also spoke to the kid (same one who called my kid a b***h and told him to shut down the site immediately. His mom was clueless to the activity(which amazes me), but agreed.
Now, the kids (including mine) are upset about it. Perhaps even upset with my kid for my actions.

What would you have done?

Answer 1

I would have done the same thing. The problem is that at that age anything you do that invades her privacy she will hate you for it. I once heard a good piece of advice though that said if your kids don't hate you then your not doing your job right. And it is only a phase that she is going through and in the end it will pay off and she will realize that you are just trying to protect her because you love her. And also with all the predators out there you have to be really careful about what your children do on-line and what information they give out. So long story short I think you did the right thing and she will see that too.

Answer 2

I would have done the same thing as you with the exception of calling the police and the school and letting them know that this kid made a threat against the school. Remember Columbine and all the others!!!! There is no school that is not at risk of this sort of thing. Good parents do this and know what their kids are doing on the net. My son changed his myspace password the other day and was told if he does it again without notifiying me of the new password he would lose his account and all computer privaledges outside of school work. I check their myspaces daily and I have a remote that starts the computer. There is not other way to turn it on and when I go out I take the remote with me so they have no way of being on the computer. You are not mean but a concerned parent who is doing their job. Good for you!!! I wish more would do it.

Answer 3

I commend you for monitoring your kiddo's internet usage.

It's a difficult call to make. Kids are gonna call each other names, kids are gonna be mean to one another, and at times they are even going to inadvertantly put other kids in harms way.

I'm not sure I would have demanded the site be shut down, but rather that the content be edited and an apology be issued, considering that this is the first offense.

Do I think you were mean? No. Parents have a right to protect their children. In hindsight was there a different way to handle the situation? Definetly, but was it a better way? I don't know I think you probably did the best thing you knew how to do.

Don't be too upset when the kid starts another blog.

Answer 4

The exact same Thing! Good Job.! There are so much inappropriate things going on the web with our kids that it would make your Brain hurt.You are not a bad parent or mean parent But a responsible parent who is being responsible for there kid.You Daughter is only 12 and needs not to have been called that name,or any other name.I will tell you I have been called the B - - - - before and here is what it stands for.

B - Brains
I - Intelligence
T - Tenacity
C -courage
H -Happiness

Answer 5

I would have done the same thing If I was in your difficult postion! However, me being 14, I understand that children now a days want to blog and have a myspace..ect. That is why I have my own Yahoo! I want to have freedom from the parents that control my daily life. Of coarse saying the B-word is unappropirate but giving your chilid the space he or she needs will allow that child to solve the problem on his or her on terms.

This is how we learn. I agree, you did the right thing. But don't take it so seroiusly..kids are kids and what they may say ,like a curse word, is nothing like thay are selling drugs or having sex. This is all about personal development and space. Jus ttry to make it up to them or even talk to them about it. If your child couln't handle the curse word situation, then that is a perfect time to intervene..not now

Answer 6

YOU ARE A GREAT PARENT!!!
It is so refreshing to hear parents that are involved in their kid's lives and that take a stand for the good of their child.
Are you the most popular Dad at the moment...no, but down the road when your daughter matures into a lovely young woman, she will thank you for being a dedicated father!
If only more parents would take their role as seriously as you do! I'm very proud of you!
*Side Note* Just keep communication open with your daughter even though she is mad at you for now...it will pass.

Answer 7

Honestly? You did the wrong thing. I'm a kid, exactly at her age. And when someone pulls something on me, and calls me a asshole, or something, I don't want my parents involved! It's downright EMBARASSING. I mean, on one hand, you did the right thing, that kid was acting like an ***, and they should know not to post phone numbers on blogs.

On the other hand... what business of yours is it if some kids want to make a blog? If she wanted you to get that kid in trouble for acting like an ***... she would've gotten you, and told you. You were kind of in the right, kind of in the wrong. If I was a parent... I personally don't know what I wuold've done. But I know as a kid, I definitely would've wanted my parents to stay out of it.

Answer 8

Fathers have a right to protect their children and watch what they do. I know my mom would do the same for me.

What you've done is taught her, through example, not to accept that kind of harrassment. If the guy called her a *female dog* then he wasn't worth her hanging around with, and she'll steer clear of him. And perhaps she'll laern a little bit about internet safety.

No doubt your twelve-year-old must feel a little embarrassed, but when she's moved on past this moment she'll be better for it.You did what was best for your child, and you have nothing to be upset about. Talk to your daughter about the situation and tell her to move on. She should know that it's your job to look out for her, and that noone has the right to treat her wrongly.

Answer 9

I would of done the same thing, I am parent of five children and recently caught my son use inappropriate words on the the Internet, i ground him from the computer for a month, but I also ask him, how do you think her father would of felt know that you called her daughter that word, and also how hurt do you think she would of felt, knowing that you called her that.

I think it's important that kids know that other people are affected by what you may say about someone.

Answer 10

I think you did the right thing. If the "owners'" parents were not monitoring the blog and preventing such things (especially private and harmful personal information)from being posted. Someone had to step up and be the parent to ALL of those kids!

Good for You!