How do I control my anger when lately, my anger has been controlling me?

Question

I broke up with my Fiance who i've been seeing for two years. I then got together with another girl, two months later, and she broke up with me as well... after both break-ups i fell into a depression, and by the second, the rebound girl, I feel into a suicidal depression. I went to a counsaler and he told me that he would call me to make an appointment but never did... so he abandoned me. But ever since then I have been so angry. I have been angry before, we all have, but I have never lost control or even hit someone in anger. I'm losing it though.... for the past 4 months I have been living with this gigantic rage inside.... and I'm not sure how to control it anymore. I say things I don't mean to people, hurt people... and at the same time, I think i'm falling under a suicidal depression again. I'm going to see another counsaler to get help for myself... but how does someone get through something like this? How do they control their anger? I feel helpless. i'm 20. I dunno wat 2 do.

Answer 1

Dear 20. Anger is so powerful. It can really cause a lot of pain. I have been there myself and there is not any one solution. I am a Christian and talking with God, prayer and reading the bible has been my rock. The book of Job is an excellent example of someone who has had so much tragedy and anger but also will help in seeing that you can get through it. Sometimes however some medical help is necessary. Something to relax you might help. Counseling is helpful. I saw a grief counselor with Hospice. There was no charge and a loss of anykind that causes grief and other emotions is something they will address( my local hospice was very helpful). You need to feel good about yourself and not let someone else, girlfriend, define who you are or how your life should be. Find things that bring you joy. Help others. Take the focus off yourself. I know this may sound like "yeah right", but you are important and should be loving yourself and life and others. Please, do not let "things" anger you. Talk to someone. A friend perhaps. I will think of you and pray for you. Feelings are so powerful, we need to remember that we can control them. It takes some learning of methods that will help you as you are an individual and we are not all the same and have not walked in your shoes. Remember, YOU are important and have a purpose in life. Take one day at a time and that is all you can do. Life is sweet and difficult. It is worth living. Please know someone cares and do not do anything to hurt yourself. signed, I care.

Answer 2

u really need 2 go to that counseler , dude
ive been through that suicidal depression state 2. its horrible.
but dont keep the stuff inside u thats bothering u tell your mate your bro your dog or anyone because then u will burst in a much worser way which is by hurting people u love.
get new hobbies too , even its it an agressive one like boxing or just shout the window cuz U are killing yourself by bottling it all up.its better to cry than to hit or hurt people becus u are only making THEM feel worse and so will u in the mean time
and crying is so much better because it also lets you push out some of the pain inside you
and as for anger try counting up to ten before you say anythin to hurt other people and try working out WHY you want to. do u really feel this way? take a deep breath and of course take your time choosing the right words.
dont be embarressed of crying in public and if you are really getting aggressive than do yoga but as we both know that u will find this very embarrasin then jus listen 2 some music and reeeeeeelax!!!and tell anyone this counselor is a good idea
hope youll feel better soon ...
later!:)

Answer 3

I have been in your shoes. I was abused badly by both parents when I was a kid, and I have had depression problems and anger issues because of it. Go to the counselor and if you have problems with taking medications, then tell them that you would like a different option. These people have really helped me, and you can always take meds short-term. It's not a rest of your life thing usually.
Just start therapy as soon as you can and try running or biking when you feel angry, it helps me to get some of it out. Things will get better...don't give up! Good things are waiting for you, you have to believe that.

Take care

Answer 4

if you were abandoned in some way as a child your insecurities will cause anger. I found the best way to keep a girl is to be funny and trust her and if it doesnt work fine go on we all get dumped i have about 20 times. There is someone perfect for everyone . Love yourself alot and dont expect people to do the right thing always we are all imperfect, all of us ok good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like you are under a great deal of stress. I would suggest getting away from the things that cause you stress.
As to your question on how to deal with rage, I have always found meditation to help, and when that doesn't, I go work out. The endorphins released from such strenous workouts exert a calming influence on the body.
If you can't get a gym membership, go for a walk, listen to soothing music, and just spend time alone.

If you want my advice on counselors, it would be, don't go. I believe that most shrinks are worth the paper their degrees are written on, because they go for medication first.

I would recommend going and talking to your local preacher/rabbi/imam/pastor/church leader. They will approach your problem from a different path. They will look out for your spiritual as well as your mental health.

Answer 6

You have made a great step in realization that your anger is a problem. It is my suggestion that you seek another councilor. It is very important you seek with someone that can assist you.
I also suggest you begin walking. When you walk, attempt to concentrate on the walk and your breathing. Notice your surroundings and let them go. Try this for 15 minutes and then increase the time as you can. Be encouraged, that you know that you control your emotions, they do not control you.
I wish you peace and happiness.