May I ask something along the lines of............ Military Respect...... [From a Civilian]?

Question

As a Civilian. I address all of Our Soldiers as "Sir" or "Ma'am". As a gesture of respect. I recently had one of America's Best. Ask that I do not say "Sir" to him. Because he uses that Title for someone who is above him in Rank. Yet I only wish to show him, (and others) all of the respect that is certainly due.

To those who do & have Served. What's your thoughts on a Civilian. Giving you a show of respect?

Civilians: Do you always address our Military with `Sir' or `Ma'am`?

What's your opinon on how we should handle this situation?

Answer 1

A great question Buzz. Being called "sir" makes me uncomfortable. I was a Sergeant First Class (SFC) on my retirement. I had 3 different opportunities to become a commissioned officer but chose to remain in the enlisted ranks. I admire your desire to show respect to those who served and those who serve today, but respect is quite evident when it is there and just as evident when it is not. Just the way you conduct yourself and how you speak is more than sufficient to show that respect. I may be retired, but I was a soldier, I am a soldier and I will always be a soldier. And in my humble opinion Buzz, you would have made one hell of a soldier. God bless you. BTW, there seems to be a consensus of opinion here. God bless each and everyone here that served and are still serving.

Answer 2

A very well-known phrase within the military is spoken when incorrectly addressed as an officer . That phrase is . . . " Don't call me maam or sir, I work for a living " .

If a soldier has said that to you, it is not done out of anger or disrespect . That soldier doesn't always realize that civilians are not all aware of it . And they're only trying to point out the difference between the bosses, and the workers . Officers and enlisted ranks .

You didn't mean any harm and he didn't either . Just 2 different languages .

Answer 3

It's not so much a 'rank' thing that you are referring to...to go up to someone, whether military or civilian, and you do not know them...what else are you supposed to say? Hey You?

If the person is a male, then Sir is appropriate and Ma'am is appropriate for female.

It's more a sign of respect than rank.

But I always just start off with "Excuse Me....I would like to just say....."

Hope that helped for ya.

Answer 4

He's right. I made the same mistake. Now you can call a CO (Commanding Officer) or an XO (Executive Officer) Sir or Ma'am. Or if you know their rank then you can address them with their rank and if they are a higher up say Sir or Ma'am.

Now I just go up to them and simple say "I want to thank you for your service to our country I really appreciate and respect what you are doing"

They seem receptive to that.

Answer 5

If you know the rank structure, address the service member by their rank. If you don't, then you say "Sir" or "Ma'am".

The military calls their officers "Sir" and "Ma'am". The lower enlisted have their own pride and are proud of their rank. The saying, "Don't call me "sir", I work for a living" is true to those in the lower ranks.

Thanks for the good question

Answer 6

This can get a little confusing

Some members of the military are "properly" addressed by their posting not their rank. For example, the person in command of a ship is referred to as "Captain" no matter what rank they actually hold. (In the UK, Marine Captains are referred to as Major while on board so as not to confuse them with the Master and Commander of the vessel.) Other examples are Padres, Drum/Pipe Majors, and Sargent Majors.

Otherwise, referring ot them by rank is considered polite. As pointed out above, some branches and ranks (usually enlisted) have other terms. For example;
enlisted Air Force - Airman
enlisted Navy - Sailor
any Marine - Marine
Armoured Private - Trooper
Artillery Private (Commonwealth)- Gunner
Artillery Corporal (Commonwealth) - Bombardier
Artillery Master Corporal (Commonwealth) Master Bombardier
Engineer Private (Commonwealth) - Sapper
Armoured Cavalry Officer Cadets/2nd Lt - Mister
Second Lt's are called Lieutenant
Lt Col are calle Colonel
Any General is referred to as General
Any Admiral is referred to as Admiral
(My background is Commonwealth so I apologize in advance for any mistakes for other countries, branches etc.)

Sir or Maam always is a safe fallback. No Serving Member will be insulted although many may assist you by providing their proper title - especially Regimental Sargent Majors.....

Answer 7

As a civilian it is quite natural to want to do that. I for one thank you for your showing respect to the military, On the other hand some enlisted soldiers are offended by being called sir or M'am, not to worry, I would just ask their rank and call them that. Your not doing a thing wrong. I am 42, and still addres anyone I do not know as sir or M'am.

Answer 8

I actually address everybody I meet as a Sir or Ma'am as do my children. But as a Military wife, I do understand both sides as to what you are saying here.
My husband has been to war many, many times. Yet he is somewhat modest as to the title of sir. Even the many thanks he gets for serving.
To him and many others, it is not only their job, but their life.
Although they will do WHATEVER they have to do to survive a warzone, they don't always like themselves for it. Sometimes calling them sir or Ma'am, is almost like unintentionally rubbing salt in a wound.
Have you ever done something you weren't necessarily proud of, but somebody praised you for it anyway? It makes them feel a bit more guilty.
Although they do understand why you are doing it and are still appreciative, it can bring up older memories.
Don't get me wrong they TRULY appreciate your support, especially in these times that support is so rare. Its just they don't do the job as a normal job. They do it because thats who they are. They are soldiers.
But I can tell you right now, from my family to yours. Thank you. Without those of you who understand why they do the job they do, the soldiers would most certainly falter.

Answer 9

I'm retired army. There isn't anything wrong or inconsistent with a civilian calling a military man or woman "sir" or Ma'am." The soldier is probably just uncomfortable with the idea. However, Kudos to you.

Answer 10

17 years enlisted...

Going on my 2nd year as an officer...


As a civilian, you're best off just calling all military folks sir. If they have a problem with it, just explain to them as a civilian, you don't fall under the same rules for military custom and courtesy, and you feel out of respect for their uniform and their vocation, you feel obligated to call them sir. I have a feeling you'll really mak e the Soldier's day that way.

Thanks for supporting the troops.