See for those of you who dont know, I just found out not too long ago that i am pregnant. Well i finally told my job and the receptionist has only had rude comments to say to me. She says that im not ready for a baby, when she was my age when she had hers (i'm 21) and she also says that my husbands not ready either ( He's going to be 28) and that I'm just doing this to act grown up and that hes too childish and such. She is no longer with the fater of her child and when i try to point that out it gets worse and ignoring her makes it worse. I really want to tell her to shut the H**L up, but i rather be Professional about it. Do you think that going to my boss about it is being childish? any suggestions?
2007-05-23 01:34:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No don't go to the boss...yet. Just professionally tell her to mind her own business, after work or when you have a chance pull her into a private area and speak to her in a calm professional manner. Tell her something like "I appreciate your comments, but I would prefer if you would keep your negative comments to yourself" Ask her why she thinks your or your husband are not ready. (has she even MET your husband?) there are some people who just don't know how to be polite.
eg. At my last job we had a receptionist, a very very nice woman, who had been there since January. This new employee came on board in late March. The receptionist told me that this new woman commented on her hair something like "don't you ever brush your hair.." something like that. She said this a few times too. In all fairness and honesty, her hair did look a little wind-blown. But it was not for that new person to say. Receptionist was contemplating going to the boss about it, but she was let go before she had a chance to tell her.
Anyway back to your situation: Don't speak with the boss unless it gets to the point where you feel it is harassment and when you've exhausted all other options.
Good luck and congrats on your baby.
2007-05-23 02:33:22 · answer #1 · answered by morrigansstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I would definitely be irrate in your situation. It sounds like you might want to try another approach with this woman, and if that doesn't work, you may need to go to your boss (which is NOT childish - it's all in what you say and the way you handle it). Instead of ignoring her, or saying things that she might view as cruel or inflamatory (her ex may be a sore spot), try very calmly telling her that you understand her concern, and have heard her opinion, but you know what you're doing. You can tell her that her comments may have had good intentions (whether they actually did or not, it helps to soothe the situation if you take the high road), but that they've really hurt your feelings, and seemed a bit insulting to both you and your husband. Ask her to try to refrain from saying negative things around/about you, because now you have a child to take care of, to protect, and you need to keep a calm mind, away from stress, so that you can do the best job of growing your baby. Also it's probably a good idea to say that you don't believe work is the best place to talk about your personal life situations.
If she doesn't respond well to this, then it's probably time to talk privately to your boss, and tell him/her the same thing listed above - the negativity is insulting, raising your stress, and hurting your job performance.
Good luck!
2007-05-23 08:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by Lacta-intactivist Mama! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surely do NOT go to your boss.
This is a personal matter between two people. It is not work related. It's just work-place related because you happened to meet this other person there.
Personally I'm all for sarcasm.
Remember that deep down she is insanely jealous because you have a man and she does not.
So! What valueable life-lessons can she give you? Is it a good idea to split up and raise the baby alone?
Does she think it's better to be a single mom than to be together? As a pair? With a loving man?
If you're not ready, what is she suggesting? Should you give it up for adoption? Does she know any good addresses for that? Surely she is not suggesting you should sell the child on Ebay?
If all else fails, tell her to her face that she is jealous, it's not charming and that you know you will be a great mother, because you know what it is like to be a child.
She is in no position to judge you; she should judge herself, because she didn't do too well herself.
2007-05-23 08:48:43 · answer #3 · answered by mgerben 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG yes it would be childish. Girl you dont go tell your boss about some **** you invited. Thats why I dont Talk to people at work about my personal life. When you put it out there be prepared to dish it back in. But I understand sharing the whole pregancy thing. Just ignore her when she talks about your life. Change the subject. You cant really say to much dont want to look like a trouble maker. Plus you really dont know what is her intentions on telling you that. So dont say anything she may have the power to sabatash you. Just give her that look of suprise and ***** shut the **** up look. Show no interst . Wish I could show you the look I use to keep people off my ***.
Just give that look.
2007-05-23 08:43:24 · answer #4 · answered by DABABY 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that going to your boss is childish. Most employers have a system of handling conflicts, so that you do not have to confront a person. You might also want to tell her that you weren't looking for acceptance from her, so you do not need to hear her opinions. I wouldn't go into personal details about her life, such as her not being with the father, just ignore her.
2007-05-23 09:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by Tania P 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most professional way to handle it is to say (with a smile): "I think it's best if we don't discuss something so personal here at work." Then make it a point to never bring it up with her again. Don't discuss it anymore with her, or give her any opportunities to put her two cents in. In other words don't make it her business. "Kittynala" is correct in saying some people have nothing better to do. Not to mention when you're pregnant you will get lots of unsolicited advice...you don't need this! To me she's crossed the line; if she continues, talk to your boss. Again just make sure you keep yourself in check by not discussing it with her. You have a responsibility here as well.
2007-05-23 08:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by Maudie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, try to ignore it. People are stupid, and like to get into other people's buisiness sometimes. Only you can tell when you are ready for a child, not her. But don't cuss her out. If it gets worse, you should go to your boss. Thats not childish, its reasonable.
2007-05-23 09:15:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can simply say that until she has something nice to say about your pregnancy, her negative comments are not welcomed. If she continues, consider it a problem and go to the boss or human resources about it. It is not childish so long as you're not whiny about it, but professional.
You could also say that work is not the place to discuss personal lives.
Repeat as necessary.
2007-05-23 08:40:27 · answer #8 · answered by cottagemama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know, I deal with a negative co-worker everyday also, and it can get VERY stressful. Not to mention that all that negativity can cause me to start acting the same way. The absolute best way I have found to deal with it is to say, "Yes, I will keep that in mind" to whatever she is saying, and WALK AWAY! Do not stand there and argue with someone that is like that. There is no point. People like that tend to be very miserable people and it is best to steer clear of them when possible. I wish you good luck on this one. I know how it is.
2007-05-23 09:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by gogirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd just say...."yeah, we're in for an adventure" or something like that...eventually she should get the hint. Or if she says your husband is too childish, say somthing like, "that's probably why he's so good with kids. Everyone says he'll make a great dad."
Some people are just nosy, busy bodies.....they are loanly and have nothing better to do.
2007-05-23 08:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by kittynala 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋