I am not clingy. I never have and possibly never will want to get married. I meet 'players' who persue me relentlessly. I'm extremely diffucult to get into bed so that can keeps them chasing for months and months. I'm talking 6 months!. I've done some serious 'fear of rejection and abandonment' therapy work which I hope will help me stop attracting men who eventually will end up rejecting me. I can keep them interested for months on end by not going to bed with them but they all disappear even if I've dated them for 6 months before sleeping with them. Apart from doing some therapy.....which I've done.....and I'm now assessing the 'type' of man ie is he a player before I get involved. Is there anything esle I can do? I'm
going to chill with my friends this summer and leave the whole 'dating' thing on the back burner and just enjoy my life. Just wondered if you guys have any advice?
2007-05-23 00:44:50 · 7 answers · asked by samsara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Keep working on yourself and evaluate what YOU are doing when a man is attracted to you. You are giving off signals that you might not be aware of.
It does sound like you are a bit of a player yourself. Not in a big way but you are testing the water over time with men. Back in my day is was called a "c**k teaser".
Enjoy your life and eventually the right man will come into your life.
2007-05-23 00:51:28 · answer #1 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, it's unfortunate but a lot of men can behave no better then what you might see if you were watching apes on national geographic. These you are attracting are obviously looking to get a peice if they are taking off shortly after the relationship goes physical, either that or you arent so good in bed. Sadly, i'd guess 8 out of every 10 guys are badly defective when it comes to love and relationships. that doesnt mean good ones arent out there, but good luck finding one!
2007-05-23 07:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by tomesphotos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are attracting commitment phobic because you are commitment phobic. just reading your story, tells me you are not interested in being in a committed relationship yet. You also say "I never have and possibly never will want to get married" If you still believe it, well you will act this way. What goes on in your head "your internal dialogue" is a very strong driving force in your life. Basically "you are what you think".
When you are ready to be in a relationship you will know it. Its just not now. Enjoy your summer.
2007-05-23 07:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by Treepe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah I have advice.
First, you're probably very attractive, and therefore you'll attract guys who want you for life.
That's bad news for a girl who doesn't want commitment.
Second, change up your style. You're BEGGING for long term commitment because that's what you offer in the first place.
You seem to want a guy who will hold out for you (6 months?) but don't want to commit to that afterwards. That's kind of ridiculous. No guy will hold out for that long unless he is serious. Be honest.. SAY that you want nothing CLOSE to a relationship.
2007-05-23 07:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kren777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you look for guys that need help or saved? you may know (subconsciously) that these guys may have an issue with commitment... (maybe b/c of a past bad relationship, or are just playing the field, or are just too immature to seriously commit.) Maybe you think you can change them or help them become the type of person that you want them to be?
when you start dating again, look for guys that have committed to something already... their job, a good cause- charity, something. that way you know that they understand what a commitment entails.
2007-05-23 07:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by avita81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't stress it so much because you are weeding out the guys that aren't good enough for you. one day you will find the one guy who doesn't care if you won't sleep with him right away. That guy might be the perfect guy for you. It just takes a few bad ones to find the right guy. never compromise yourself for a guy.
2007-05-23 07:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the well deserved rest.
2007-05-23 07:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by TDCWH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋