Is my girlfriend doing anything wrong...or am I just getting too jealous?

Question

There are times when my gf flirts with guys or tells me things about something funny a guy did she knows or is friends with and sometimes I get jealous. The other day, she told me how she saw this really funny video of this one guy naked when he was really young. This guy has a gf, but at the same time, it still makes me feel jealous. I'm not sure if she was just making conversation, but i didn't really want to have to hear something like that...and she tends to do that fairly often to be honest. She laughs and jokes a lot with guys and she knows I hate it, but it just seems to be something she does a lot. She tells me they are just funny people and she can't help that they laugh, but to me, it seems she is just giving the guy the impression she is interested, and it comes off very flirtascious. She does this a lot, so therefore it seems I am on her case a lot, and she gets angry and upset. A few times she has cried and doesn't know what she is doing wrong..what should I do?

I find that she feels this need to be popular or impress others. She's in grade 11 Im in grade 12 so it's a natural phase I'm sure, but at the same time, I don't know why she feels the need to dress so nicely every day at school. I've even told her without make-up she looks beautiful to me, but she always finds a way to over-do it it seems. I am assuming here, but it seems she might want a bit of attention...and I try to give it to her, but maybe it's not the right kind of attention. In class sometimes, she jokes with this one guy a lot. She just sees it as fun and friendly conversation, but she laughs and jokes a lot and finds everything he says hilarious...so I really don't know how to say it...i just get jealous. I'm sure it's natural...just like she might naturally be more flirty with guys...She doesn't seem to know she's done anything wrong and I always come off as blowing things out of proportion..sure they are sometimes simple little convos she has, but i still get jealous.

Answer 1

You should be glad that she even shares such things with you. It shows she's honest and she trusts you. You should trust her faithfulness towards you. You just felt inadequate at the time you were able to get with her. She wears make-up and dresses nicely because that's who she chooses to be; that has become a part of her.

I believe it makes you really uneasy for a competent male figure to speak to or be spoken about from her. Ask yourself why you hate those guys. Did you start hating them after she began to converse with them? You're insecurity is annoying her, so you need to lighten up before you end up pushing her away with such bitterness. Let her have a good laugh. Show that you care for her happiness by not becoming aggravated and killing it when shes trying to explain something comical. To joke about something is not always considered a tactic to flirt. Maybe if you were to show her that you're a little optimistic, she wouldn't have to feel that she needs to dress best and wear make-up anymore, because then she would feel great about herself. All you seem to do is shoot her with your negativity.

Answer 2

Sometimes flirting is just that flirting, and sometimes its just for fun. It sounds like your girlfriend has some self confidence issues. Maybe she had a bad past relationship that you are paying for?? Maybe she is high maintenance and need alot of attention?? I would bet money on it that she is doing this to get a reaction out of you. It probably makes her feel good or reassured that you care. If she's worth it....You need to calmly talk to her about this. Tell her how it makes you feel and ask her not to do this in front of you. If she continues you need to let it go... act like it doesn't bother you ( hard as it will be) this will either make her stop(doubt it) or it will escalate and there will be bigger and more evolved problems. She's not going to be getting the attention that she needs so she will have to find another way to get, and that is going to be more flirting and bigger problems and fighting. Is she really worth all the hassle???


Additional info response:
I am right she needs attention!!! Either deal with it or move on. Your not going to be with her for long anyways. Your in high school...you will meet a thousand other girls b4 u find the right one. Have fun and date around.

Answer 3

if you want a girl who makes you feel like your the only guy in her universe than it doesn't look like this is the chick for you.

One of two things will happen, you'll either find the girl I'm talking about, or you'll eventually mellow out and not worry so much about your girls.

Fact is the relationship your in now isn't gonna last, your not confident in it, and it doesn't seem like she is taking it seriously.

You seem to be pretty young, trust me you'll be meet more girls than you can remember before you find the one that's just right for you.

So until ya do, just learn from each relationship, grow from each, don't let these girls get you too down. Think of them as warmups so you'll know how to make the relationship work when you do actually find the one.

Answer 4

First, the ladies are emotional. Get used to it.
Second, she likes the attention from you when you get upset and jealous. That's because she loves you, she wants to be assured that you love her, and therefore feels good when you are jealous.
You should avoid being jealous, but pretend that you are jealous about everything. That would make both of you happy. She wants you to be jealous, will do anything to make you jealous, and you should capitulate.
It wouldn't hurt to tell her that you love her and you don't like it when she's flirting with other guys.
Bottom line: she's playing with your mind as the ladies will do from time to time. Go along with her games, but don't feel bad. Your girlfriend loves you. It sounds like you love her a lot. Just chill and enjoy everything.

Answer 5

The most important thing in a relationship is trust. Without trust the relationship will have problems. If you trust her then just let it go, she has friends that are guys, thats fine. Shes with you not them, that should count for somthing. I know alot of girls that have friends that are guys, its perfectly normal. If you really care about her you have to understand that these guys are people in her life that are her friends. I hope everything works out between you and her, good luck!

Answer 6

I think you are getting too jealous, she seems to be very all around, easy to get close to kinda girl, and yeah that will attract more attention from guys and some guys wouldn't care if she's in a relationship but you have to trust that she won't take advantage of that. and for her to tell you about it i think she's fully aware of it and it doesn't seem to bother her or hinder her from committing to you. I joke around like that with my bf and he gets jealous sometimes in a joking way and we have fun. it c

Answer 7

yeah your totally jealous.

Every girl likes to socialize and have fun with other men, it makes them feel good. The same case for women, they hate it when their man is talking with othe women. Its natures way that's all,..

If you really don't like hearing her talking about her male friends then tell her you don't want to hear about it, and if she continues to tell you about them,.. then leave her, she will only make you miserable.

If she already cheated on you she will do it again. because that's the type of person she is. They always get a "drunken" excuse or something,...

Answer 8

If she is talking to you about it, there is nothing to worry about. If she was sneaking around, then it would be time to worry.

Jealousy will destroy a relationship. It is caused by insecurity. Do not feel insecure about yourself. She chose to be with you, not someone else. That means that she really likes you. Try to just be yourself and enjoy the relationship instead of worrying yourself over things that might happen or could happen. Take that time to concentrate on how you can make her feel that you are special.

Answer 9

Well, if you already talked to her about it and have told her how you feel about it and she hasn't done anything to change how she acts, then maybe you should give her a taste of her own medicine. Jealousy is healthy (=]) Personally I think it is. It shows that you don't want to lose your gf and that you care deeply for her. As long as your not overbearing and your relationship isn't based around that jealousy, it's fine. Just talk to her about it, just sit down tell her your feelings, and lay a few ground rules about it. Also, trust your gf, trust is important in relationships. Don't assume and jump to conclusions because that will just ruin your relationship. When it comes to me and my bf, I do get jealous even if he's just talking to her a girl, but I know that he wouldn't cheat on me. I trust him with my heart and I trust him not to break it.
You being jealous isn't abnormal. Make friends with her guy friends, get to know them if you don't already. If you think a guy has ill-intentions talk to your gf about it. Hope this helped. =]

Answer 10

im the same way as your g/f. shes just a very outgoing person with lots of friends. at least she is honest enough to tell you these things, and not hide them from you. if that happens, then you have a reason to act that way, but in the mean time, just relax and know that she is your g/f, and that you can trust her b/c she does let you know the truth, no matter what.