I have 3 children and I was wondering if I did the right thing in giving them up for adoption?

Answer 1

If it was your own decision, and you felt it was right at the time, then yes, it was. You don't describe your situation, but think about this: there is a difference between sadness and regret. You can be sad but still know you did the right thing.

Answer 2

First of all...Did you give them all up at the same time? Like you were raising them, could no longer financially/emotionally support them, and decided it was best? Or did you get pregnant with one..put it up for adoption, and so on. If you're only doing it as a means of birth control then no you didn't do it for the right reasons. You really didn't give enough information. I guess giving them up for adoption would be better then aborting them. Only you can say for certain whether you did the right thing. If you have to ask all the people on here I'm betting you're having doubts.

Answer 3

Ignore those who say terrible things to you about this. My first child I gave up to a better life. She is almost three years old now. She is living with a wonderful family and I am very close to them. They had been trying to have a child for fifteen years and I was to young to be a mother. I also was in a very bad place. I don't know what your story is but if you were unable to give your children proper care then yet it was the best thing to do. You should not be selfish and keep a child with you if that child will only grow up in a harsh enviroment. You did what you thought was best for your child at that time and that is what counts. It was the resposible thing to do if you were unfit to raise them yourself.

However I do have to agree on one thing. If you are not prepared to be a mother you should either get on some form of birthcontrol + the condom as well or you should simply avoid sex. Three kids means that you are repeating the same action over and over again and you are not learning from what has taken place in the past. If you are not ready for children don't sleep around. It's as simple as that.

Answer 4

Every person lives their lives in different ways than others. There are obviously reasons why you chose adoption for your three children rather than raising them on your own. I would imagine it would be hard to give birth to three children and than have to give them to someone else but maybe they'll have a better life than what you could have provided for them? Hopefully you feel that you have made the right decision not only for yourself but also for your children because they are the most important. It is really of least importance whether or not I or anybody else in the world thinks what you did is right because we are not you and do not understand your situation at all. But I wish you the best in your future and I hope you come to terms with this. Take care*

Answer 5

Well it depends on your situation. Only you can judge if you did the right thing. I can say as an adoptive mother I am happy my child is with me and he is probably better off than with his birth mother. You can't second guess yourself. If you are worried about your children check in with the agency you placed them with and see if they have any letters or pictures. Our children were adopted internationally and I still send pictures and letters to their birth Mom. (even though we don't have to) It will put your mind at ease. If they don't have anything for you, see if they will contact the family. Most likely the family will send you something to set your mind at ease. You gave someone an incredible gift. But you are forever in the hearts of those children and you are forever a part of the family.... If you were my kids Birth Mom I would welcome you and thank you and let you know your baby is fine and happy. Good Luck and God Bless you!

Answer 6

If you have had three children you didn't want, of course I would put them up for adoption. There are many families out there who are dying for children and I just hope they all find loving homes. I would use this as a means of birth control on your part though. To keep having them just to give them up for adoption isn't healthy mentally as a parent.

Answer 7

If you feel that you can not adequately care for then and that they will be better off with someone else then yes you did do the right thing.
If it is not to late keep it as an open adoption so you can still see them so they will know that they were (and still are) loved by you and when they get older let them know that you had a tough decision to make and that you did what you felt was best.

Answer 8

if you can look yourself in the mirror and say you know they are getting a more stable life then you did the right thing. ignore some of the previous answerers, they probably are not related to adoption at all, they are just emotional predators that are looking for someone to trash so they feel better about themselves. i know what you sacrificed and know it wasnt an easy decision

one thing does bother me though, why three? i would think you would be able to analyze your life after the first, and make a choice to not put yourself there again. but of course i dont know what the whole story is so forgive me if i offend you

i do think you need to practice birth control. obviously getting pregnant is easy for you and your are setting yourself up for some serious heartache if you continue to live a lifestyle like this

best of luck

Answer 9

Ya know..I am sorry that you must miss them.. it sounds like this to me..but, I would like to know is would you have been able to take good care of them? feed and clothe them, and deal with the day to day things that kids really need plus your stuff as well?

There are sooo many things that I have seen with parents...I was a child care provider and I was also a preschool teacher..and also an observer..I have a TON of respect for parents...you have to give up yourself...to make the time for kids...they really NEED your attention and crave it all of the time...it is hard hard work...it is great work..but, it is hard work....they need a very ,very devoted and caring and always on top of it kind of parent!! They need love ,patience,caring..constantly..and time! Lots of time for you to spend with them! to read to them, to answer questions for them..to play with them...etc....Kids have expressed things to me, over the years..and I also remember what it was like for me as a child as well!

Do you have these things and more?
and financially can you help them....not only helping you, but, them as well?

...They are humans like you, that need what they need and crave...their ego is always going to be "me me me, me first"

That is who these children are..it is all about them!

Could you handle this?

and what about the family or families that adopted your children...can they provide this for these children?

(Look, it doesn't mean that you never loved them...you know ?)

You can still find out about them, I am almost sure of that..and hopefully oneday, connect to them..and tell them that you love them very, very much!
I know that there are sooo many families that have adopted...my hubby was adopted..as was his sister...
it is such a gift to be able to do that for a family that cannot for some reason have their own by the regular ways...and what you have done..is a great honorable and very strong thing!
I admire that! I also know how painful that is...I wished that I could have had kids...but, due to health reasons, I have chosen not to...and it still makes me sad inside at times...!

I know that you are probably hurting alot....but, do not feel so terrible...I think that your children may be heading in a good direction...(I have friends that couldn't keep their babies...and they adopted out..and they get photos of their kids...and letters...but, they never interfere!) I think that this is really nice!

I hope that other moms and other people here will help you, whatever happens for you...I wish you many good blessings!

Answer 10

To poster "Vana": You kinda shame someone for making a courageous decision, but you as a parent can't spell "daughter" and want your child to be your "best friend"? We do not make decisions to parent or place for adoption based on the fact that our child is "smart and funny" -- or not. We make that decision based on the belief we hold deep in our hearts about what is truly best for them.

And for our original poster, I really trust when a mother can sacrifice her own feelings for the sake of her children. You have your reasons, and I trust and respect that.

Answer 11

adoption is always a sad thing for one and so happy for another. you gave them up for one reason or another take peace i knowing that your childern are going to have things you couldnt provide for them. in the mean time, get some birth control. then you wont have to have the bad days of feeling guilty and thinking what if you made the wrong decisions.