Are children with Down Syndrome socially undesirable and unacceptable?

Question

If you wanted to have a baby and then discovered the child in your womb had down syndrome, would you terminate the pregnancy? (Guys, would you want your wife to abort?)
HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN ANYONE WITH DOWN SYNDROME?

The following are links to NY Times articles about parents struggling with this issue if you'd like to know the medical facts:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/09/us/09down.html?ex=1336363200&en=ccf8eeeb8ff46ae4&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/weekinreview/13harm.html?ex=1336708800&en=14c996629acf2e3a&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

Hi Acid - I think you would know my by now. I am pro-life. I would not terminate a pregnancy because the child had Down Syndrome. No, I've never known anyone with it. I think in-vitro fertilization is morally reprehensible and selective reduction is disgusting. I didn't include my opinion initially in order to follow the question/answer format. I am really interested in what others have to say on this topic.

Answer 1

Yes, it's true some might find a Down's baby socially undesirable and unacceptable. But I have to say I've known three very lovely people with Down's or similar mental and physical handicaps. First, there was Marvin, who had Downs. He was a short, stocky guy with a full beard in sophomore year in high school. The guy had more guts than anyone I ever knew. He tried out for track, and for the wrestling team. And his impairment was profound. He couldn't really compete, but he did anyway. He was a hero to the guys on the team. Yes, some people hated him and ostracized him, but most loved him. On Graduation Day, Marvin was given a standing ovation when he got an award for Achievement. I will never forget it! My school (Davis High School in Yakima, WA 1982-84) was in pandemonium. The second person I know with Downs is a man named Stevie. His mother goes to my mom's church. Stevie's handicap is severe, and he can barely talk. Holding conversations exhausts him. But he's a lovely human being, and he just lights up and gets excited when he sees someone he knows. He is always very concerned to know where someone is and what they are doing if he cares about them. And he has a joy that I envy. Last is my sister-in-law's best friend's daughter Abigail. Abigail is still a little girl. I think she's six. She has the face of an angel. Golden hair, long eyelashes, and bright blue eyes. She also can not talk, or walk. And she will have to be fed for the rest of her life. But her smile will just melt you. And she is sweet, responsive, and loves to make noises when she is happy or hears someone singing. She is literally one of the most beautiful little girls I've ever seen. She has seizures, and she will never walk or talk during her life on earth. However, in heaven if at no other time, it is promised that the lame will walk, the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the lepers will be cleansed, sorrow and sighing will flee away, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. Abigail will someday walk in heaven. And when she starts walking, she'll never stop again. She'll walk and run for all eternity. And we'll finally hear her lovely voice. You may ask, "How can anyone be expected to live under this burden?" but I tell you the truth, if you knew this little girl, your heart would be changed. Suffering, no matter how bad is temporary. And I know her mother would not change her decision to keep Abbie. We have talked about it. She just loves her little girl.

Answer 2

If the reaction people have to my son, who happens to have Down syndrome, is any indication, then NO, children with Down syndrome are not socially undesireable nor unacceptable. My son charms everyone he meets, people are drawn to him because he is a beautiful, clever, amazing little boy with tons of personality.

In my opinion, people who discriminate against individuals who have Down syndrome are the socially unacceptable ones. My son is a gift from God and I am blessed to have him.

Answer 3

Children with Down's Syndrome are some of the nicest, most loving people you will ever encounter. There's such a purity there and you really really have to question anyone who finds that unacceptable or undesirable.

Answer 4

My wife and I chose not to abort our child with Down syndrome. She's completely awesome.

By the way, we didn't do it because we thought we had to, we did it because we wanted her.

Oh, and there are LOTS of people without Down syndrome who are socially undesirable and unacceptable. Just look at this board!

Answer 5

That has to be one of the toughest questions that anyone could face.

To say this is the best choice or that is...is not really fair to the folks that really do have to make that choice.

As for the idea of a child with down syndrome socially desirable after you have them, that is easier to address. There are situations in society that require some common sense, taking a child with down syndrome to an opera is a bad idea..frankly taking most children to one is a bad idea unless they are extremely well behaved and quiet.
Now taking a child with down syndrome to the park is just fine, in that situation if someone there is disturbed, they can move out of earshot.

People need to understand that children with down syndrome are still children, and parents of children with down syndrome need to understand that there are places where loud behavior is not appropriate.

my 2 cents worth

Answer 6

I know several people with children with Downs Syndrome! In each case, I think God sent them their child because they are such good people that God knew they would be good to the child.

If someone is not emotionally, financially or otherwise prepared to assume the awesome responsibility then they should put the child up for adoption because there are also great people out there willing to take a Down Syndrome infant.

Answer 7

HI....children with down syndrome in my opinion are the sweetest most loving human beings on this planet...they accept all whom they meet with an open heart and do not condemn others for being different and above all else they do not know the word "hate" because of these qualities...they are special. some may feel they are "undersirable" and "unacceptable" because of fear and the stigma that has been placed on these wonderful people in the past. It has come a long way in the past 20 or so years but we still have so far to go for total acceptance.
When I was 5 months pregnant I found out that I was having a little boy with down syndrome, the doctor out of protocol asked if I wanted to terminate my pregnancy. It wasn't even thought about for me....my immediate answer was NO. this was my son conceived out of love and my husband and I would not end his life because he wasn't "perfect" by societies standards....he was loved so much already and I hadn't even seen him yet.
Today I have a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed, 3 yr old little mischief maker who I adore and love with my entire being. he has taught us all acceptance of others and patience. what a special gift that is....to be able to look at others with disabilities or that are different from the "typical" person and not see the problems that they might have , but to actually SEE them...the person and to get to know them.
My son is not a "syndrome"....he is first and foremost a child. he loves, learns (some things may take him longer), plays, laughs and is just like most "typical" children. It isn't harder to raise a child with down syndrome....it is just different. we adapt our lives to be parents and having a child with special needs is no different and it is just as rewarding and in a lot of ways it is more rewarding. I have never been ashamed of my son....I am PROUD to be his mom. I know what he has faced in his short life so far...with every obstacle he has overcome, he has done it with such a zest for life that is is humbling.

Answer 8

Actually I almost faced that choice with my last baby. I would never have aborted that baby. I would have loved it like any of my other children. My husband agreed. We would have had the best schooling for the baby too. I have met many people with Down Syndrome. I used to work with handicapped individuals. The kids with Downs were always the happiest and friendliest of all the kids.

Hugs

Answer 9

Ugh. I'm opposed to surgery for Down's kids. I have a cousin who has Down's and she is perfect. I think if a parent gets surgery for the child, it is definately for the parent or perhaps so other kids won't make fun? I don't know. All I know is that plastic surgery definately won't take care of the mental aspects. The one thing I really like about my cousin is that she is happy. She does get blue sometimes because she knows she isn't "normal" but she is one of the best people to be around in my life. The only concern I have is if other kids do make fun of Down's kids, it is those kids' parents responsibility to change that attitude not the parents of the Down's kid to change their appearance.

Answer 10

Have you (KNOWN ANYONE WITH DOWN SYNDROME)? I have. I also know parents with kids with down syndrome. For everybody who says here 'how nice the kids are' should talk to the parents sometimes about the difficulties they experience.

But this question comes in two parts:
a) are you in favor of abortion
b) are you still in favor of abortion when we have methods of detecting genetic defects and will act on those?

People who are against (a) are done. Dilemma solved. They are against abortion, so this doesn't really enter into it. Those who are for (a) including me, have a new dilemma.

From the article:
"About 90 percent of women who learn they are carrying a fetus with the extra 21st chromosome that causes Down syndrome choose an abortion. Studies have shown that many women choose to abort for diagnoses of less serious conditions."

So, I am pro-choice. I would also support parents who wish to screen their embryos for severe genetic defects. I find it hard to draw a clear line here; for instance, I would never support screening for sex (male/female) or sexuality (if possible) or intelligence.