I hav got a realy strange problem.. my parents are lookin for a match for me.. we had got a proposal where the horosscope matched well..
A meeeting with the guy was arranged soon as he worked in a different place.. we met.. i liked the guy.. (i think he liked me too).. he said that if you like too we could get to talk more on this.. (future plans and stuff)..
he left the next day.. now the problem is that my parents were waiting for a reply from their side.. and they were obviously waiting for o us to call..
now our society is like.. girls are not expected to say "i like him" and no one has asked my opinion..
I know there is a communication deadlock and i cant do much on it.. but how will I get them to talk again ???
Im really confused!!
is there anything that I can do??
Its been like 10 days sinc we met... is this it? is it over.. or do i have a chance.. please reply
2007-05-22 17:46:22 · 22 answers · asked by pingpong 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I cant call him!! coz 1. i dont hav hs number.. 2. girls dont do that in our society in arranged marrages..
so the next action has to com from either the parents or the guy..
finding another guy wouldnt be a big deal but im not sure if i'd like the other ones like this [yeah i agree arrngd marrags are cr*p but we'v gotta liv with it]
2007-05-22 17:56:28 · update #1
Arranged marriages of any kind are doomed from the start.
2007-05-22 17:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know alot of people think arranged marriages are old fashion & it takes away a persons freedom to choose.I understand what you are going through because I have friends that went through the same thing.To make this sound more up to date.It's like a service you use to meet people because you don't have the time. Are a shy person. Or just have not met the right person yet and want to expand your choices before you are 40 years old and loving with 20 cats.
Talk to your parents and have them (your parents) call him directly. It is easier for parents to call because people will think they care so much for their daughter, that they are just excited. Have your parents get his email and cellphone number while giving him your cellphone number and email.This way you guys can talk privately.Just because you didn't use a computer to find this guy means you are from the stone age.
There was match making and blind dates before online dating services. And if he doesn't call you, you should call his cellphone. Leave a message if he doesn't answer. He may be away or busy working making money for the furture.
Don't call him more then twice. If he doesn't respond, then move on. Don't let anyone look down at you just because this was from a match maker. Remeber a match maker is only a provider of service. You still have your right to choose. Good luck.
2007-05-23 01:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by Freckles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know they are waiting for your side's response. May be they have decided that it may not work and have kept quiet. In any case if your parents are interested in your marriage they can say to the guy's parents that they are fine with the match (not that you like him...) and then take the conversation forward.
At the same time looks like you have pinned too much hope on this match. Don't! Relationship should start only when both the guy and the girl explicitly have expressed interest in it.
2007-05-23 01:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by Mithun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that his family are going to call. It probably wasn't that they were waiting for your parents to call them as you say that this not the social convention in your society. Therefore, I would say that this gent will not be your future husband.
I wish you every happiness but it's such a shame for you that you have to have an arranged marriage as it had the very real potential to ruin the rest of your life. However, I really hope things work out well for you.
2007-05-23 08:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U seem to be a very nice homely female. The problem u posed is not a problem its only a curiosty.Have patience if the man likes u n is also kind hearted like u will get back. Leave upto the god.Never force relations otherwise marriage becomes a war where two enemies sleep together. Pl kind hearted person be kind to yrself .U seem to be an indian
Khafa aaj woh kal kisi bahane se
Gale mein phool si bahen bhi daal sakta hai
Samaj mein aaiya budhoo???????.
2007-05-23 00:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I have a rather negative view on "arranged" marriages. You should be free to decide for YOURSELF who you are compatible with.. and ultimately who you LOVE.
If you don't love someone, then you should NEVER consider marriage. I would research arranged marriages in depth if i were you, so you know exactly what you are getting yourself involved in. Too many young women (and men) are brainwashed into arranged marriages and for the wrong reasons.
Secondly, your parents (and yourself) seem in a rush to get you married...why? Why is the rush? It would be very easy for me to get married to the first man I randomly met... but he would be a complete stranger to me... You only live once (or so we are aware of...) so make that once SPECIAL!
What you and your parents are doing is very similar to putting a list of mens names into a hat, and picking out a random name- and saying "YES! my future husband is on this piece of paper, i am going to marry him and live happily ever after..." Unfortunately life is not this easy....!
You need to be independant and to be in control of your OWN destiny. Choose your partner wisely if you are looking for marriage and don't let others interfere in your emotions and feelings.
If you are old enough for marriage then you should be old enough to make your own decisions without your parents influencing and controlling your every move.
Finally... you say: "we had got a proposal where the horoscope matched well.."
Well, If you base a horoscope on a potential marriage partner then you are doomed from the start for obvious reasons. It is all "hocus pocus"- i.e complete nonsense.
I wish you luck in your future marriage, but it seems to me you are not yet ready for it.
2007-05-23 04:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by Helen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this is not too overly obvious but surely you can - considering you're going along with the idea of an arranged match your parents can't be complaining - nudge your folks to give the other parents a hint? Surely they'll be very happy that you're willing to consider their arrangment so they won't say no to dropping a hint?
2007-05-23 16:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by Elle Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u seem keen on this guy that means your inner feelings believe this might be the one for u and only he can give u those feelings if he is feeling the same way which he is why else would he ask to meet again i think you should talk to your mum about this now she being a woman might see it from another womans point of view after all u did put it on yahoo answers that shows how much u want to meet again i think mum will see how much u liked this guy and maybe contact other mum cos i bet he thinks your not interested tell mum or your going to lose him
2007-05-23 01:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by willtooy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where the heck do you live that they are still arranging marriages??? That's insane. Choose who want to marry and make sure you are in love.
2007-05-23 14:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by beehappy01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents have to learn that your happiness and safety needs to come before theirs and if you think you will be truely happy with that guy then go for it your parents choice doesn't have to be your's its your choice on who you want to love. Just give it some time i'm sure that guy will call or something. You can surely find some way to get ahold of him too.
2007-05-23 00:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by lovely 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋