my 8 year old daughter is still throwing tantrums and if something dos'nt change soon I am going to go insane, she has a tantrum over everything, she dosn't get her way, tantrum, she get borred, tantrum, she can't sleep, tantrum, she does something wrong and I punish her, tantrum, and everytime it is the same thing "poor me, no one likes me, everyone is always mad at me, I never get to do anything ect ect, usually at first I am not that upset but she won't stop, she pushes and pushes and pushes until I just want to ring her little neck, I don't, but I want to, I usually go out to the garage to work on pricing stuff for my garage sale, I have gotten a lot done, what can I do to get her to stop throwing them or at least make them not so long? I have tried telling her that if she dos'nt quit I will take something away or ground her from doing something but that just makes the tantrum worse and longer.
2007-05-22 17:26:12 · 8 answers · asked by pumpkin2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I do try to ignore her, but she follows me and screams in my ear and hits me.
2007-05-22 17:51:48 · update #1
Also I have told her councler about it and she has talked to her about it and she has said she will try to do better but as soon as the councler leaves she starts up again.
2007-05-22 17:54:06 · update #2
One simple thing that worked for me. IGNORE HER TANTRUMS! When you don't give her the attention she thinks she will be getting, she will probably stop or shorten them. I have also cleaned out my 7 year old room of all toys, etc... All she had was a bed, her dresser and her books. She got nothing back until she started acting better. It took a few weeks to get most of it back, but she is a changed little girl. Good luck to you!
2007-05-22 17:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This coming from a parent that pulled out a lawn chair when my 18 month old threw a tantrum in the drive way, and sat there for 45 mins. watching my daughter go through her issue.
It doesn't seem to matter if they are 18 months or 18 years, when they feel a behavior (good or bad) is working they work it. If it stops working they try something else. Try giving her the option to calm down and talk or be sent to bed when she starts to tune up, when she gets to her room and gets louder give her the option of quieting down or having the door closed. When she has calmed down tell her that you are disappointed in her behavior but you love her and want to hear what she has to say as long as she uses her words. When nothing is going on and emotions are not just under the surface, ask her some ways she can deal with her tantrums and consequences for not finding a suitable way to deal with anger, and disappointment, then give her the opportunity to practice what good suggestions she came up with. And repeat until you get her where she needs to be.
Let her take part in being in charge of something because only "mature young ladies" get to be responsible for things and express your pride in a job well done when ever you can (some kids feel better to be in charge of something and that is the underlying issue).
Remember the first time she is disappointed or angry and doesn't throw a tantrum... tell her how well she handled that situation and how much you appreciated her being able to do that.
As for the martar role, put it on her what actions she exhibits that makes people not like her, and what can she do to change public perception, making it her responsibility and guide her to make the connection that, if she doesn't like the outcome then she needs to do something different.
That's what we do...
P.S. my daughter finally got up and walked to me after the huge and ugly tantrum, took my hand and led me into the house and she played, no worse for the wear, and never did that again.
Take care!
2007-05-22 19:04:09 · answer #2 · answered by lilpatrona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Third, there may be something deeper going on. My bestest friend Amy has a brother Matthew who is Autistic and would pitch a fit every single time something went wrong. I am not saying your daughter is Autistic, because that's the sort of thing they would've caught earlier one, but I suggest you look into it further.
If indeed your daughter is just an everyday drama queen, you may have to take some action here. I am not one for corporal punishment by any means. But one or two spankings will not kill the child, and in a case as bad as this one, I think it is necassary. Also, designate a place, a room, aplaypen, whatever you have, where she is isolated. Every times she starts to pitch a fit, put her into the isolated place, and tell her she'll not be let out until she starts behaving. You may find that she isn't as loud once she's lost her audience.
Under all circumstances, be kind to the child. I advocate discipline, not cruelty.
2007-05-22 18:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Cyra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is kind of tricky, but you have to stop her reactions from continuing.
First don't just threaten to take toys away, say it to her a mean it, you really have to follow thru. Then have her earn each removed item back for having good behavior. It sounds like she may just want extra attention and is doing anything (good or bad) to get it. Maybe ask her what activity she'd like to do and spend 30 min with her, giving her your undivided attention. Also, maybe when she is mid tantrum sit there (patiently, and it will be hard) and just calmly talk to her and ask why she is acting in such a manner.
2007-05-22 17:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by lalahoohoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually tantrrums are to get a reaction when somethings not quite right with the child, but do not agg her on and dont let her bother you, but kids will throw tantrums if they want more attention so when she calms down and is out of timeout or naughty chair, talk to her the issues of her acting that way and brainstorm ideas with her of how to get her anger out healthily then love her and spend time with her. but dont excuse the behavior cause then shel realize hey look when i throw tantrums my mommy loves on me, NONONONONO! cause she continue to do it. Mayb your attention is going more toward your garage sale or another child and the only way she knows how to get that attnetion back to her is by teh tantrum.
2007-05-22 18:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Marianna B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried ignoring her? Mine is a bit younger but when the tantrums start, I walk away and don't react. It usually gets them to stop. If you have tried everything and nothing works, perhaps you could get her together with a behavior specialist. She is probably just acting out. Good Luck.
2007-05-22 17:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by been_there_done_that 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there may be something going on with her that she doesn't know how to discuss and she is trying to find a way to reach out and talk to you about it the next time it happens tell her to tell you everything that is going on with her and be calm about it maybe she had a fight with one of her friends at school and they aren't getting along anymore and she doesn't know how to deal with it so just try talking to her
2007-05-22 17:31:33 · answer #7 · answered by third times a charm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called a firm spanking on the butt!
You are the boss, make her believe that what you say is law!
2007-05-25 06:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋