Help!! My wife spends tooo much money $$$$?

Question

I don't know what to do.... no matter how much money I make my wife spends like it is water. My wife does not work outside of the home and that is the way we wanted it. I feel like I spend my entire life making money so I can fee the "machine" . No matter how much pressure I tell my wife that I am under, she does not change her spending habits.

I make over $30,000 per month... man you would think that would be enough. But it never is. I don't know how to get it thru to my wife (we have been married for 16 years) that I do not make a MILLION dollars a year. I used to but that was years ago.

Please help, any advice is appreciated

Answer 1

Tell her to cut back on spending so much money, or else you'll put it into an account that she cant access it from. And DAMN, what does she buy to spend that much money.

Answer 2

People have gotten divorced over things like this. Many women feel a great need to ''keep up with the Joneses'' It can really get out of hand and get to be a competition and a habit. Talk seriously to her about the problem and if you can't get through to her think about getting a separate bank account and budget her. Pay attention to her peers and see if you think that she is trying to impress others or she could be trying to fill a void in her life. I would encourage her to take an art class of some kind. It is hard to be a stay at home mom. I was for 13 years. I used to always be looking for something new to make me happy. I learned since what true happiness is. Sometimes life can get in the way of this and we can lose our way.

Or you could consider deaner 39s offer. I thought that it was funny.

Answer 3

I agree with most of the advice, have her get a job, sit down with her and go over the bills and set a separate account for her but be drastic only put like 2,000 in there a month. Let her figure out the concept of money. Also tell her you love her but she has no job so be careful, she could be stashing money away to build herself a nest in case you were to leave her. You are entitled to your own account, you work, she doesnt open a separate account and do not put her name on it, i assume after sixteen years you may have children make her aware she is spending there futures away- college money etc and if you were to die, God bless you and may you live a long life , but if you were to die unexpectedly how would she survive>? oh and you created a monster you should have nipped it in the bud years ago, now this could get ugly, and so what if you made millions a year ago? tell her you dont anymore and you dont plan to work forever and need to save money if not take her to a counselor-

Answer 4

Get her to a counselor. Not a financial counselor--a psychologist. She has an unhealthy addiction to shoppping that has its roots deep within her. Nothing short of death or divorce will curb her compulsive behaviour, otherwise.

Did she come from a poor family? Did she suffer some trauma as a child? Was she abused as a child? Did she ever have a dysfunctional romantic relationship?

Any of the above could cause her behaviour. She needs to understand why she is doing what she is doing.

I want to add that forcing her stop or reduce her habit by denying her access to money is not the answer. It will cause more stress between you than you have now. She needs to hear from a professional that this issue is manifesting itself due to an unresolved emotional experience.

Answer 5

Close your joint checking account and open one for each of you. Cancel all of her credit cards and tell her that she can only spend what is in her checking account. You deposit a few thousand or whatever amount she may have every week or month into her account and when it's gone, it's gone until the next deposit.

Clearly she is bored and has found shopping to be her relief. Tell her to get a job; she will have something to do and have her own money. She just needs a sense of accomplishment.

Answer 6

Put her on a budget make her sit with you when your paying bills and show her how much money is being wasted. or better yet have her go get a job and she can see how hard it is to make money. Wow 30,000 per month I would have one heck of a bank account. Because I'm one in a few women that don't like to spend money

Answer 7

Talk to her about opening up another account just for her and you will put the money in the account allowing her to have full access to, or invest some the money ask the bank about CD's to build up your money or accounts that you or anyone can touch for a year. Well some people love to spend. If all else fails call Dr. Phill, or Oprah.

Answer 8

You need to open a savings account put so much in it for her to use and if she uses it all then thats all. You are letting her spend your money and you can put a stop to it. Also if you open her a saving account she cant write bad checks she can only get what is in the account no more and you wont have a lot of fees you cant afford.

Answer 9

you created a monster and now you hate it , so i think you take the bull by the horns and start keeping some money away from her , tell her she can only have x amount of dollars and if she doesn't like it to get off her butt and support her spending habit herself

Answer 10

I seriously doubt it, but if you DID make a million a year before, that is where she got used to spending money. Just cause you don't make it anymore, woman can't just start living like a pauper. You made her what she is now you have to live with it. You have been with her 16 years, this ain't nothing new to you. It is just money, is she happy? Let it go. Men have their vices, we have shopping. I stay at home and my husband doesn't care what I spend. It's called love and trust and respect.