Am I truly worthless?

Question

Tonight was the senior awards night for my High School. Now I have put my heart and soul, everything I have into singing and chorus these last 13 years. However when the chorus teacher comes to the stage, she doesn't even mention me one bit. She gave an award to three other people but she passed over me. Then after the awards, my parents started yelling at me and saying that I am worthless just because I didn't win any awards. I tried to get a scholarship but the adviser told me and I quote "There is no way that you could ever get a scholarship." I feel as if the whole world is against me right now. I can't seem to do anything right and the one thing that I am good at in school, I don't even get recognized for.

What do you think about this situation?

I have been fighting criticism my whole life. It seems that ever since elementary school, people have been saying that I wouldn't amount to anything. Plus The College Adviser telling me that I would never get a scholarship just makes me feel like I don't belong here.

They didn't say worthless straight out. But every time they get onto me about school or life, I know that they are saying I'm worthless in a nicer way. They get on me about never having a girlfriend, my grades, everything and I'm tired of it.

It hurt a lot to see people getting 6 awards and me not getting any for what I am good at.

Answer 1

Honey I'm sorry...use it as a source of strength...don't let it get you down (easier said than done...I know) I'll say a prayer for you and I wish you the best in life.

Answer 2

Unfortunately we live in a society that often thinks of our worth by our accomplishments or even the perception of accomplishments. If you can separate yourself from what you do, that would be an excellent step. Because you--as a person--are a worthy as anyone else on earth. You were not born to prove anything or to live up to what other people think is an accomplishment. Just because you didn't win an award doesn't mean you didn't deserve one. That's another issue. Also, if you did your best, that's great. That deserves an award in and of itself. That is what is important. It's OK to feel bad right now, but when you can, think about all the people involved and why they would do what they did. Maybe they feel bad about their lack of 'awards' and are taking it out on you. What would you want written on your tombstone, "I won some awards" or "I did the best I could in life." I know which one I'd pick.

Answer 3

I think you are being too hard on yourself. You can't do it all and the teacher may have just not thought to say anything to you. You could talk to them, it may help you feel better. The whole world is not against you and you can do anything you set your mind to. Go to college and stay in the choir. You may not have a scholarship, but you will have a college education. Student loans are for those who need help, so apply for one and check into the grants available. Your parents should be praising your successes. Shame on them, for not being supportive. Don't make the same mistakes when you have children. Hang in there and I am sure things will turn around. You will meet a whole new group of friends in college and you could even move away to become more independent.

Answer 4

I think your parents owe you and apology and someone in the school music department owes you an explanation or you need to give yourself a reality check. None of us are worthless, so get those thoughts out of your mind. Do you know what the basis was for the awards. I'd find that out first. There might be a simple answer. It's your senior year, you did your best and what happened is out of your control. You don't have the power to change anything. Go on to college, get a student loan and tell yourself you are a stronger person because of this day. You need someone to tell you what you should be doing differently.

Answer 5

Brian, the very first thing I want to tell you is do NOT listen to your parents or ANYONE ELSE if they tell you that you're worthless. That can cause real, horrible damage that can last the rest of your life, ESPECIALLY if parents say it.
That is unbelievable about the awards and scholarship and what your adviser said! Awful, really. Know what? God gave you your talents and knows you love to sing. Not only that, but He LOVES to hear you sing! I'm very serious about this: God loves you more than crazy, Brian. Your worth to Him is so huge, it can't be measured! People will fail us at times throughout our lives, but God will not. He's always there for us. There's a verse in the bible that says, "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close."
Get to KNOW Jesus Christ, (not just ABOUT Him!) it will change your life for the better, I promise!
I hope that helps; I'm writing from personal experience! Drop me an email if you want to talk more about this! :)
~Claire

Answer 6

No offense but I think your parents need a good telling off. You're not worthless! Your teacher is just being ignorant. Sometimes teachers go on this power trip and think they control peoples lives, which they do obviously. The teacher may not like you for whatever reason and thats why she did it. She's ignorant too. Welcome to life. This goes on all through life. Some people in power may not like you or your hair cut or your attitude or something and no matter how hard you try they will keep you down and help out some other loser that isn't even half as good as you are. Don't let it get you. I know it's hard but this happens all through life and I hate to say it. Your parents attitude towards this really makes me mad though!!!!!

Answer 7

Your parents are worthless. How dare they call you names. They aren't fit to be called your parents. Honey, you did nothing wrong. They are being emotional and verbally abusive towards you. Please, please try to get away from them and move out as soon as you can. They will do nothing but bring you down. You are a good, beautiful human being and you should be proud at what you accomplished. I would be proud to have you for a son/daughter. You deserve better treatment.

Awards mean squat. Many people have gotten all sorts of awards in school. That doesn't mean they are better people or more successful in the future.

The parents need a reality check. I hope you go to college or university away from them in another city or state or country.

Stay strong, get some counselling for yourself, and most of all feel good about your accomplishments.

Good luck.

Answer 8

First of all, I think your parents were out of line for yelling at you. They need to support you! It is so hard sometimes when you feel like you get no recognition, especially when you do a good job. Performance shouldn't be judged just by one set of standards. Are you doing the best you can and putting forth effort in the things you do? Are there things that you could seriously be doing better? If not, then stive to do a better job FOR YOUR OWN SATISFACTION. If you already are, then good for you! I spent years trying to get recognized by a parent for excelling and achieving. It never came. I eventually found out I didn't need anybody's permission or approval to know that I was okay and deserved to be happy. So, if you do things that make you pleased with yourself and increase your self esteem, that's all that matters. By the way, congratulations on your graduation. Good job!

Answer 9

Brian... Tons of successful people were shot down all their lives. I was too. And it's so easy to listen to these people, especially when there is more than one person being this mean. Your parents... sound like mine. Sounds like you have a lot to offer, and you need to spread it out more. Go beyond school, your parents. Teachers play favorites, and parents are just unfair.

Don't listen. It's hard not to, but don't listen to them. Did your parents really say "worthless"? That's classified as emotional abuse, actually, and is unfounded on ANY level. The pain and the anger are going to continue to well up inside you, beware of thoughts and feelings that are self-destructive. Instead use those feelings to enable you.

The best revenge on these people is to prove them wrong. It has been done tons of times in history, and now, Brian, it's your turn.

Answer 10

I think you are to be commended for best efforts. That's a long time to be on chorus. I also think that if I were you, I'd look outside the politicized school environment for my scholarship money.
Chin up, someone will recognize your talent. Find that someone.
You have value and you have worth! And about your parents, they were probably as disappointed as you were, they know what you've been doing these past 13 years and they reacted with anger to cover the hurt they felt as they watched you being overlooked. Parents are like that.

Answer 11

Reading this has really touch me. YOU are not worth less and for your parents to stand in you face and say that is more than I can deal with. I have for kids and I would never tell them they are worth less. You have potential and even though you feel as the world is against you it is the edge you need. You can go to college there is nothing you cannot do if you set your mind to it. Be strong you know what it takes you've been there and made it this far you can keep pushing and when you are where you have set your goal to be that is all that maters! God Bless YOU for he made you for a reason and worthless was not it.