What is your take on spanking a child?

Question

So how about it? What are your thoughts on spanking a child? Yeah, I know age has a lot to do with how some of you will answer; so....let's just say for the sake of this question, the child is four.

Old enough to understand yes, no and all the inbetween stuff. Sound fair?

Okay...so..... what do ya think?

*For the record, I'm in my fourties and a good spanking never hurt me or my siblings. Of course I didn't have to worry about either of them going overboard with punishment either..... so, I'm aware that there may be more than just "two sides" to this penny question.

I'm interested to see what you all have to say. Also, please let me know if you are in your teens, twenties, thirties, etc.

Answer 1

I tend to agree with Dr. James Dobson on this. He states you should never discipline a child out of anger. You discipline a child to teach them how to behave or act, and to ensure they learn how to protect themselves. Hurting them in order to teach them this lesson sounds hypocritical.

The trouble with spanking is that parents are too frequently angry when they do it. So, the spanking becomes an outlet for the parents' frustration or stress.

If at all possible I believe spanking done only with the open hand on the back of the upper thigh is okay, when the reason for the spanking is explained to the child. Anything other than this is flat abuse. And yes, I have four children, two of whom are now adults. I can count the times I resorted to spanking any of them on one hand. Use the harsh punishment sparingly.

Answer 2

i think its fine to spank. I think children use the law against parents, i dont agree in beatings but i do agree with spankings, i got more than just spanked with the hand as a child so did my siblings i got the switch, the slipper, the hand and the belt(i was a mischievous lil tomboy) but we turned out fine, we listened and we knew when we did wrong there would be consequence, i am a us marine and my siblings all work great jobs, judges etc and we all turned out fine. My children get the hand on the bum spanking and they received once or twice and now never need a spanking - they know now- Too many teenagers today- if they would have been spanked as a child or disciplined wouldnt be in the predicaments they are now.......oh and im in my early thirties

Answer 3

I am 55 and I have had my share of spankings when young, as did my siblings.I don't think that it affected me adversely. But I think that things have changed a lot since my early years.
I believe that violence begets violence. The more you spank or yell or scream at your child, the more you will have to continue to do it and the more violent your child MIGHT become.
In most cases other types of punishment are appropriate such as "time outs", having to go to their room, an age appropriate lecture, or having a favorite toy or activity taken away.
Spanking may well be appropriate in special circumstances though, such as if the child runs out into the road, a sharp smack on the bottom would certainly get their attention, same thing in other dangerous circumstances.
Otherwise, no I don't believe in spanking as you can probably tell.

Answer 4

I am 31 and I have four kids my two are 9 and 11 my step children are 8 and 10. Yes I believe in spankings. I don't have to do it offten at all but they know I will and they show respect. You can not let a child just keep on and on cause if you lose there respect you wont get it back and it makes if hard on everyone they come incontact with like other adults,teachers,supervisors and spouses. It all starts with the parent and the raising.

Answer 5

I only recall being spanked two times in my life-once by each parent, but then again, I didn't get into a lot of stuff. Plus, all my mother had to do was give me 'the eye' (like what arewe mentioned in her response) and I would stop whatever it was that I was doing.

I think spanking is useful if it's done from the time the child is small. I've read/heard that children are the most influenced in reference to discipline and spanking up to the age of ten so the foundation has to be set by then. I've heard of parents trying to spank a 14 year-old and wondering why it wasn't successful. However, I don't have any children, have helped to raise my nephew and am in my late twenties so I base my response on my own experience.

Answer 6

My belief on spanking is that it's fine as long as there's no doubt that it's strictly disciplinary. It's not superfluous to spank a child on the behind if he's completely insensitive to verbal reprimanding.
However I think it's gone too far if you start hitting them with anything other than your hand, or anywhere other than the behind.
My mom spanked me once when I was about four, and from then on never felt the need to again. By the way, I'm seventeen.

Answer 7

My girls are 3 and 5. The oldest one I spanked a few times, not anything hard, just a pop on the Pampers lol. It was more like a swat on the way to me physically making her go somewhere. It got her attention that she was in trouble and it worked. After she left diapers, that quit working, so I stopped, and now she just loses privileges. But she's a pretty good kid, things don't go that far often.

The 3 year old? Just look at her cross-eyed and she bawls lol. All I have to do is use an upset word and she straightens up. I've never really had to swat her at all, maybe as a toddler in diapers once or twice, but its so rare I honestly don't remember ever doing it lol.

Answer 8

I'm in my thirties and i was spanked as a child and it didn't hurt me. I have 3 sons and they have been spanked. It is only used as a last resort for the really bad things they do. They don't get them too often but they do get them and it doesn't hurt them. They understand that I mean business and they do as they are told. I have gotten more compliments on my sons for their good behavior than you can imagine. My sons are well mannered and extremely well behaved. I have had parents come up to me in stores and ask me how I got them to behave. I tell them that they understand there are boundaries and they don't cross them when we are out.

With that said, they are children and they do have their moments. I by no means beat them. I see a lot of children that have NO discipline in their life and they suffer because of it. We all suffer.

My youngest if four and if I didn't set limits for him he would absolutely go CRAZY!!!!! So, I don't feel spanking is all that bad as long as it is not overdone.

Answer 9

I'm in my forties, married with 2 step-sons who are now, 15 & 16 my husband and I have an eight yr. old daughter.
I guess it depends on what they did. We spanked/spank one time on the butt. As they got/get older we just take something away; ex: computer,tv,phone. Kinda like you said; There is an age where it seems silly spanking a 13 yr. old. The times I spanked, I regreted it. There's other ways to get your point across, and it depends on what they did. One of the kids thought it was kool making a couple of little campfires and try to start them with sticks. "Something his class was researching, "Lewis and Clark" I think it was. Out of about four, He managed to start one but got scared and put it out. Yeah, he got spanked, because they were up next to the house. He was 8 at the time. UGH! Kids, gotta love them. Hope I helped.

Answer 10

I don't feel spanking is necessary. I've always believed in time-out for "Bad" behavior and focusing more on rewarding good behavior. I've always felt spanking didn't work. I remember being spanked as a child and I can remember thinking it was a joke because it never worked on me. I'm a female, 41 years old. At times when I felt like spanking, I've literally said "I am so mad right now I feel like spanking you! I'm going to take a time out!". I would then go in the bathroom and shut the door and take a few deep breaths. Usually kids don;t like it when YOU remove yourself from the situation. Usually the child would cry and want me to come out. It worked for me and I was able to calm down. I did spank my niece once, just a swat on the bottom, for almost running in front of a moving car. I never did it out of anger. The swat I gave her didn't hurt. It only scared her. I never did it again and I guess my reaction was out of fear. She doesn't remember it and she is 14 years old.