I've recently broken up w/ the bf of 2 years (left a 4 year relationship prior to him) and I'm tired. I'm a co-dependent struggling to find myself and right now I'm out of my comfort zone! I find myself needing friends and struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I'm on antidepressants and have trouble sleeping. I crave relationships, I fall in love too easy. I know all the right things to do and I'm doing my best to do them but keep failing. My faith is struggling to be held onto, I'm still in Weight Watchers but lacking energy to work out, I don't know what to do-should I go back to the doctor? The counselor? Or just turn to God and hope for the best? Any advice is welcomed! :o) Thanks for listening...
2007-05-22 12:34:57 · 13 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go Girl, Go!!!! To admit all of that is OUTSTANDING. I am with you all the way. I am going through the same exact thing. You need to fall in love with yourself, so you can stand on your own two feet and be in a position where you call the shots in the next relationship. You're on the right track. Instead of exercising, I found an activity that was fun, like water volleyball, and dancing. Find a really cool dance DVD, or great music that you like and have fun dancing around at night, in the privacy of your own home, and you can watch the weight fall off. It is key to have fun, otherwise it's like just another chore. Don't try to do too much at one time, you'll just be overwhelmed. Try something "out of the norm" for you. Go on a hot air balloon ride, or hiking with friends on a nature trail close to your home, so if you aren't having a good time, you can always leave. Take small steps. Surround yourself with fresh air, and nice scenery. That can always change your prospective. Everything you do from here on out should be for you and you alone. If we aren't happy, how can we make someone else happy? If we don't love ourselves, how will someone else? I'll say a prayer for you, and hope you find your ray of sunshine soon. Good luck to you.
2007-05-22 12:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by nil8_360 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
okay honey first you should go back to the doctor and tell him those antidepressants are not working he may raise the dose or put you on something different. Second go back to the counselor. It takes a long time to break the chain of being codependent and she or he can help you do this. And thirdly this is advice my mom's therapist gave her and it worked.
Don't date anyone for you year but yourself. Take you to the movies, out to dinner, dancing, watching good movies or just reading a book. Get to know and love you. Then after that year gradually start checking out the dating scene. My mom was 50 when she did this and she found the most wonderful man and has been with him ever since. He is a real gem. Before that my mom dated and married losers that would use drugs, drink too much, were physically or emotionally abusive.
Sweety i hope that this helps you and if you ever feel you need to talk just email me. I am always open to finding new friends.
2007-05-22 12:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dear,
Lonely
The big ? why did you break up, just the basics?
You are never alone, as you know with faith you just need to ask for strength to deal with your situation. And act on it.
You mentioned weight watchers, use it, it
can only help if you want it to, exercise can only build your self esteem, mind and body who does not need that.
My first time on this site and your question caught my eye. I have know idea what I am to do next. I am not sure if I am in the right category.May be you can guide me. I was going to ask a question about a problem in my marriage.
Bless you
Michelle
2007-05-22 13:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really feel for you because I can relate to that a lot right now too.
I think you need to continue to do all of what you mentioned, as each thing can help with a certain element of your healing.
Build up a support network for yourself for each area of life you want to improve, rather than just focusing on having 1 place to turn to when you need some advice and support.
Just as it's never only one easy solution to improve one's life, but many different things in unison which can add up to make a changing difference.
You need to be gentle with yourself right now, because if you fail then you will be beating yourself up so much and making yourself feel even worse! Sometimes the only way to live life is one day at a time.
A lot of people who get stuck in a co-dependency cycle are automatically are used to accepting blame too and also being so so hard on themselves with giving themselves blame and guilt too due to low self esteem.
You need to stop being so hard on yourself and accept that you are doing all you can do right now.
It sounds like you are working on so much right now, so you need to break it all down so it is managable and you are not over-whelmed and learn to deal with only one issue at a time, when it arises. I am still learning to do this myself too, but it does really work.
Physical exercise does really help depression and sometimes just to force with all will-power to go out to walk or exercise, but when you do, it is worth it and will be exhausted but proud of that you have achieved it too.
Exercise releases those feel-good chemicals that help people become more centred, so an idea is to find an exercise or walking partner through your Weight Watchers, both of you will have same goal and be supportive to each other.
Getting into a healthy habit really reenforces that habit, so switching all your negative habits for healthy ones will bring dramatic change once you build up momentum with it.
Do whatever you can manage to do but just start by making 1 small choice first and implement it into your life, then gradually build from there. If you do it that way, it is more likely to be a lasting change.
There's a lot more I could say on the subject, but I hope this starts you thinking in a more positive way.
Peace!
2007-05-22 13:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by Fai 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget about the boyfriend and stop the antidepressant. Try and really get to know someone. If you know a guy and start dating wait for 2 or 3 dates to get to know him. Then you can officially call yourself together. A concealer can't go back in time and stop the pain. And a Doctor can help, but it will were off and you'll be right back were you started. You will find your soul mate but not now. Wait he will come.
2007-05-22 12:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Lina B 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
sorry you're going through all of this. honestly, I think you could stand to look to God for help. He's always there and will never turn you away. I think you should also talk to your doctor. Antidepressants, Weight Watchers may be battling eachother too.
2007-05-22 12:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i do know how you feel --- ive come to the conclusion that the only person able to help me is me ---- i make the decisions and i must live with the results --- if i dont like what has happened i have no one to blame but myself and i must accept responsibility --- no one else can change your life and i have changed my life --- there are still some aspects that im working on but it is improving ---- best wishes
2007-05-22 12:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by trader1867 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
First lose the antidepresents. Second go to God and KNOW he will provide a friend for u.
2007-05-22 12:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by mojo 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If its that bad you should talk to a psychologist and try to talk out with them. Or if you're really strong just go to the gym and you will feel a whole lot better I am sure of that!+
2007-05-22 12:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sorry for your pain, it just seems to be the human condition, just tuff it out, summers here, definately better days ahead!! Rich
2007-05-22 12:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by Richard S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋