Do you think we should homeschool our son?

Question

Our son is autistic but highly functional. He was in public school but was steadily getting teased every day. He saw a girl in his classroom get tackled down by a teacher and a teachers aide because she was screaming because she wanted to go to the nurses office. My son is now scared to go to school and his heart is racing. I took him to see the Dr and the Dr said it was high anxiety. I called the principle and teacher and nothing is ever done about it. We want to homeschool him to make sure nothing like this happens to him because he also has a tendency to scream. Any advice?

Answer 1

I home school my son. I do not recommend it for everyone, but it works for my family. I like being able to focus his learning around his interest. If you choose to home school I think you will find your son a lot happier, I know mine is. Good luck

Answer 2

I know you have had a lot of response to this, but if your son is having that much anxiety over school, homeschool for sure if you can. You will save yourself fighting the school and frustrating yourself, your son, and the teachers. Plus, if he starts screaming in a classroom, how much disturbance will he cause the other students. Will this hold up everything?

As for socialization, there are homeschool groups to bring the children together, and there are homeschool support groups for you.

Besides, so many schools are having budget cuts and putting more children in a classroom. It makes it difficult for teachers to give children, with whatever challenges, the help they need. For you, it is your childs needs that are important.

Answer 3

I would look around for a better school or homeschool. I homeschool and it is really good for one of my sons, especially, because at 6 he shuts down completely if he makes just one tiny mistake. I won't send him to public school until I have helped helped him get past this so he can handle the public school arena. If you do homeschool make sure you find a good support group, go to homeschooling conferences, so that you don't feel alone or feel like you are taking on the world. Enjoy this time with your son.

Answer 4

It is totally up to you. The school system will try to keep you in their clutches because they get money for every student attending but you need to do what is best for your child! My daughter is 9 and has ADD and severe anxiety/depression issues that escalate in the public school environment. Contrary to what others have written she is NOT lacking in friends. You can get that socialization anywhere, i.e. church, YMCA, sports, etc etc. Beginning to homeschool is scary and you always wonder if you can do it and are you actually ready to be totally responsible for your child's learning. I have found that being responsible for my daughter's learning is very rewarding to both myself and her. Remember that you don't have to homeschool in the traditional methods. If your son is autistic you might want to explore the montessori methods. Go to the library and pick out some "how to have a Montessori school" and search the internet for those also. Try something and if it doesn't work then try something else. School should be fun not stressful because learning should be fun for our little ones. Good luck

Answer 5

I have two friends whose sons have autism, one has her son in public school and one homeschools her son. Now I'm not saying the one at home has an easy life, but watching the other one constantly fighting with the school district about his IEP/504, what services he needs (and the school fights her every step of the way). It must be exhausting, and on top of that the kid is clearly NOT thriving in that environment. He is a bright boy, but the daily stress of school is wearing him out, leaving him with little energy left for learning.

Check out Home Education Magazine, I know they had some great articles on homeschooling a child with Aspergers a year or more ago. Just a quick search gave me the June 2005 issue with this article:

"Learning and Living with High-Functioning Autism - by Christine Gable - page 34
Several years ago my son was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. As part of the autistic spectrum disorders, it is a learning challenge that is physically invisible but makes his way of interacting in the world confusing and more difficult than average."

I hope this is helpful - good luck .

Answer 6

If you are willing to make sure to provide something better for him than the schools can offer, then do it. Find out about the laws where you live (through http://www.hslda.org ), join a homeschool support group (or two! I'm a member of 3; do try to find one specifically for parents homeschooling autistic kids) to learn more about how homeschooling works where you live and to get some more personal interaction and support going and then start taking the steps to do it.

I personally know three kids, from three different families, who suffered from anxiety when in school. Two were boys (early elementary)--one on the autistic spectrum--and both were on anxiety meds. Their first year out of school showed the parents just how much stress the school environment was causing them. One was able to have his anxiety meds lowered significantly; the other was able to be pulled off them completely.

If you can do it and are willing to do it, I say do it. I recall reading one family's testimony of homeschooling their autistic girl, after she, too, had started out in the system, and they said that bringing her home and giving her an environment that suited her much better was the best thing they'd ever done.

Answer 7

Ack. I don't blame you at all.
You'll surely get a mix of opinions, but you have to do what you feel in your heart is best. If homeschooling will be a burden on your family (lost income, etc), investigate alternative schools, like Montessori or Waldorf (and most have financial assistance if you need it).

If you choose to homeschool, find a network and make sure he gets to meet with friends several times a week.

It's a tough call, but I wouldn't second-guess your abilities; you can probably do a wonderful job educating him yourself. It'd be nice if you could find a school he loved, though, so he could have a positive attitude toward education.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

My son is HS'ed but my daughter is in public school. She is severely autistic, functionally non-verbal, and has other issues like cerebral palsy, sensory integration dysfunction, feeding issues, developmental delays and developmental dyspraxia. If she *only* had ASD, I would HS her. She's cognitively where she should be in 1st grade. However, due to her multiple issues, I just cannot do it. She needs the peer modeling of school and the expert knowledge of those doing her ABA program.

Since your son is highly functional (you didn't say if it was autism or Aspergers), I would certainly give it a try. Thankfully my DD doesn't realize when she's being teased. She just doesn't even relate to others like that, so it's not a problem (at least not at this age) for her.

I assume the child who was screaming also had ASD? Thankfully my DD doesn't have major behavioral issues like that or biting, etc. Her "deal" at school is just constant self-stimulation. They have it in her IEP how to deal with it.

ASD kids can suffer a lot from anxiety. I know many ASD kids who are at home and thriving. My best friend has her DD with Aspergers at home half time and in public school half time. Most likely, if your son has an IEP/504, you can continue any services with the district as an "outpatient". You'd just need to have a meeting to change his LRE (least restrictive environment) to home.

You can always try it, or commit to only a year and if it doesn't work, put him back in school. I think you'd be amazed at the progress he'd make!

FWIW, we have ASD kids in our HS co-op and in our cub scout pack. Everyone is highly willing to learn to support them. You just need to be open and honest when joining groups - which are important when HS'ing - don't try to hide his ASD issues :-)

HTH!

Answer 9

I think it would be wise to homeschool him, at least for a year. If he's so scared of school and he's autistic and getting teased, I think it would benefit him greatly to spend some time away and regain education, confidence, abilities, etc that have been lost to the public school system. Perhaps when he's a bit older, he'll feel better equipped to return to public school.

Answer 10

Yes, indeed. If you feel you can handle it I think your son would thrive with a personal education plan, one on one instruction in a controlled environment. Can the public school offer that? The situation in school is not going to get any better, and if he developes coping mechanisms they will probably be detrimental in a hostile, uncaring environment. Try it out at least. If it doesn't work out you can always put him back in school. You owe it to your child to at least try it; why force him into an unhealthy environment?