how do you potty a 3yr old boy..when other parent doesn't help?

Question

My g/f has a son who is 3 now and she has been activly trying to potty train him for 2 yrs.Can you please help for examples of what she has tried,that didnt work, putting him on the potty every 15-30 min.,having him say when he has to go,watching for signs,tried dissapline when he had an accident,also she has tried putting him in "big" kid underwear,also tried giving a prize when he went on the potty,none of these have worked,please help,we dont want to have him going to kindergarden in diapers:) also his father who has him on the weekends puts him in diapers when hes there..and that surely isnt helping..she will try anything just to get him to potty like the adults..what worked for you?

Answer 1

the only thing that worked for my grandson was putting him on the potty once an hour and poring warm water between his legs.NOT HOT!! my daughter and son in law tried everything else too.i also stayed with him and talked positive to him.i also let him flush the toilet.after a few days my son in law started taking him in with him to show him that he used the toilet too.it took about 3 weeks but it was worth it.boys are very hard .his father will probably get involved once he sees some progress.that's what it took for my son in law to take him in with him.good luck.

Answer 2

As far as our son who is now 7 he was just ready and did it without really any accidents but he was almost 3 when it happened. Now our daughter is 3 since January and is still not potty trained. I have come to the terms that it will happen when she is ready. She did pee on the potty a week ago but doesn't want to since. I have also heard that if you push it too much that children may have more accidents. I don't know if that is true but I do know my son barely had any and night time training was done within no time compared to other children I have heard of. I do talk about it with my daughter a lot but in a positive way and I don't think I could ever punish her for accidents. Tell your friend to try to relax a tad and try to say how he is a big boy other ways more before bringing up the potty situation. That is my next step with my daughter and what I have been doing since that is what I think we did with our son. I highly doubt he would still be in diapers in kindergarten.

Answer 3

The first issue I see is that he was being asked to start focusing on this at time when developmental experts say the body is not ready. That was a lot of added frustration for all of you. Many people make that mistake not knowing child development since kids don't come with manuals. The second thing is punishment for potty mistakes is NOT recommended. The more low key you can be about the process when it doesn't work, the better as it lowers a child's need to resist you. The Dr. Phil trick that is used is many steps to potty success you can find on his website. Personally I used only one aspect of it and it worked fine-when there is a potty success-we called up a friend who agreed to be the "character" that my child was enthralled with and we talked up the great success of making it on time in the right place. We called Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and sometimes just left a message enthralled with the success. It sounds ridiculous but the excitement is such a motivator for the child who is ready.
There are other tricks that have to do with boys and targets etc. Children and families has been my professional field for many years and what tends to happen is that children mature. And when they do-they WANT to do that grown up thing-whatever it may be. Diapers will be tossed off when grown tired of. Matter of fact explaining in simple language pays off quite a bit. "Soon you will be using the potty all the time like Kindergarteners." "Won't that be great?!"
Look at the calendar too-many people dont even start till 2 and 1/2 to 3 to give time for maturity. Good luck

Answer 4

My husband and I used a star chart. I don't think you can reward a child with a prize every time they use the potty, but you can give a star. Every time he went he got a star. After 5 stars he got a toy (from the dollar store). I had a box of about 10 toys and he was aloud to look at them and choose his prize. I also took my son to the store and let him pick out his own big boy underwear. I put him in the underwear and changed him every time he had an accident. It was a pain, but he didn't like the feeling of wet underwear. He would come to me and want changed. Of course I would change him, but I would also remind him that next time he used the potty he would get another star. As for the father I have no idea. He just sounds lazy. Just wait until her son doesn't like the feeling of poop in his diaper and rips it off in the middle of the living room. I wish her luck!

Answer 5

This is what I did for my son. I used to put cherios in the toilet. He loved it! He thought of it as a game, I told him that he could put a few cherios in the potty every time he had to go and then pick anything he wanted as a prize if he hit the cherio. It took some time but he finally got it! He was so happy to hit the cherio he ran out of the bathroom with his shorts around his ankles to tell me to come look. At first it will be as if he has to go every five minutes, let him try, don't stop him. That will only discourage him from trying in the first place. As soon as he goes in the potty, praise him, even if he doesn't hit a cherio. that way he will be more apt to go again. Disappointment is one of the biggest turn offs of potty training, if the child thinks he is a failure he will not try. If he has an accident, let him change himself into dry clothes and place the wet ones in the wash, if he soils them make him clean them in the potty to show him that is where it goes. Never scold a child for accidents, it only makes things worse. When he does, calmly tel him to go change and explain to him what he should do next time. Make him repeat you so you know he understands. His understanding what to do is half your battle, the other half is getting his own body to listen. (Which takes development and time). As for the father, well explain that at mommy's we go on the potty like big boys. Never tell the child or let the child hear you say that at daddy's you can wear diapers or be a baby, because whether you like it or not the child will love his father and you will only hurt him (the child) by saying those types of things. Good Luck with him.

Answer 6

I had the same problem with my oldest daughter when it came to potty training. I read the books, the cartoons, the sitting times and nothing worked. Turned out, as soon as I stopped pressuring her for a while, she wanted to do it. Maybe that is what your problem is too. My oldest potty trained after she turned three, she starts pre-k this year and she's potty trained.
If the other parent uses diapers, make sure the child understands the different system, since brow beating doesn't help get the other parent to help.
There are other things you can do as well. Take your child to a play group where about half the children are potty trained. When your child makes friends with another child that happens to be potty trained (most parents say this is bad...but it works!) ask your child if they want to use the potty like their friend and let them pick out their own underware. Kids even as young as three want to be like their friends...so take advantage of it while it's not peer pressure!

Answer 7

First, just relax, it's very frustrating for the parent and the child, all they know is that mommy is mad and they don't really understand why. Take a break for like a week and go at it again, and if it can be done try to keep him home for a weekend or two just until he gets the idea of using the potty. It is truly setting him back by being put back into diapers. It will take forever if things aren't consistent.

Answer 8

I put my son in regular undies. He had to wear them until he had an accident. After that, he had to sit in his wet undies for about 10 minutes. He HATED it SO much that he's been potty trained ever since. I also made a star chart for him. When he got to 5 stars, he got a little pize (a new book), and when he got to 15 stars we went to the Disney Store and he got to pick his prize...within reason. I also made a HUGE deal out of him going on the potty. Clap, tell him what a big boy he is, tell him you're proud of him & give him hugs. If she is consistent, he'll go and his habits will carry over to dad's house.

Answer 9

He obviously isn't ready or he would be giving you signs he was. Some kids it takes longer than others and especially boys. I definitely dont suggest punishment for wetting his pants. When you have little kids sometimes you forget how young they are. Maybe you and your girlfriend need to think about what it would be like being 3. That's 1...2...3. He is still a baby in the world.

Answer 10

When I potty trained my boys I used regualr undies so they knew when they got wet. We also for the boys used a coffee can because when they went potty they heard a neat pinging noise and it gave them a fun experience on learning how to pee. We also had him watch daddy a few times and they went together at the same time.