The 'cons' of raising children without Christian beliefs?

Question

What does the non-christians teach to their children to avoid teen pregnancy, STDs, low self-esteem? How do they teach their kids not to fight, or hit or spit or cuss? or to not do drugs or alcohol? or to not view their lives as something worth throwing away in suicide if it gets 'too tough'? How do they teach them that they dont have to 'do it' because MTV tells them its cool?

Or is it that the non-Christian thinks that none of that stuff is REALLY all THAT bad and if it all goes out the window when they turn 18, so be it?

Its not 'that bad' if your kid is glued to the internet and getting hit with porn spam? Its not THAT bad if your kid is watching cartoons that gets their mind thinking about kissing and dating when they are 5 yrs old? What about violent video games? Or experimental drug use in movies?

What is the non-believers answer to all that when it comes to your children? Go get counselling? Medicate?..what?

So no absolutes, do whatever suits you since there's really no downside to it? Is it just me or is that being really really naive? Its like winding up with crack addict children and not accepting that they didnt just 'wake up' that way. It was a process....a process that begins with how they were raised.

I say this as a child who was raised by non-christian parents, in a family of all non christian people who had non christian children who are falling to the same crap that their parents did and who, in comparison to my own children (purely coincidence Im sure) who are being raised Christian (opposite how I was raised). The difference is STRIKING. But Im just someone who is just experiencing the difference-you guys are the experts, yes?

The sad thing about these answers is that no one is honest enough to admit that there are some cons to raising a child without a belief in God...just like there are cons to being a single parent. The fact that no one is admitting this is an example of when the bible says "a man's ways are right in His own eyes". I can admit that I made mistakes with my kids. I can admit where I was an absent mother...I can also be humble enough to admit that once I really began to study the Word, it showed me how to TRAIN up my children, not just raise them (you raise chickens, not children). For those who answered who profess to be Christian, if you think that your parents did a wonderful job of raising you WITHOUT knowing Jesus, then why even bother being a Christian? Oh yeah, there's that whole salvation issue though? Honestly, dont just call yourselves Christian...read God's Word and see what it says about your responsibility as parents. Then come back and say Jesus doesnt factor into the equation

Answer 1

that is the problem with kids today! now these children are also having babies and have no clue how to raise them because their parents couldnt be bothered to teach their kids right from wrong,or morals or that there are consequences to your actions or anything!too many of these losers too drop out of school become drunks whores and drug addicts! no one has told these people about JESUS! we worry more about third world countries and dont give a damn about our own families and lack of values in our own homes!kids are raised by the tv set and living off welfare and every check their parents can scam without working! it is sickening!all they have to do is take care of the kids and they dont do that!well ready or not there will be a judgement day whether you believe or not!

Answer 2

Oh I see so now you are saying that non christians can't possibly be concerned over their children. Yeah you're a bright one aren't you.

Non christians are more likely NOT to medicate their children because a lot of them don't think it's right drugging their kids to get them to behave.

It's simple and I'd think you'd be able to understand the way you keep your children from avoiding pregnancy, STD's et al would be the same for any parent who loves their children. Why do you assume that non christians would leave their children in front of the tv all the time?

I don't normally say this but you are just ignorant. christian beliefs don't mean that your children won't ever become pregnant. Example my old neighbor had two girls and two boys. The children went to a good christian school. Guess what both girls got pregnant before they were 16 and one boy got a girl pregnant. These kids cussed, drank, did drugs and they were raised with christian values. A lot of good it did them, eh? Oh and a very good friend of mine who is very much a good christian woman raised her son to be christian. He commited suicide when he was 15.

Now if I took your question in the wrong light I will go ahead and apologize now. children will screw up sometimes no matter how well you try to teach them. They are individuals and will make decisions on their own. When we try to help guide them and they make their own decisions we can be there to help them. We love our children no matter what.

Answer 3

Just because I am not a christian does not mean that I do not have morals. There where good moral teachings going on long before the Christan area.

That said I would never teach a child not to fight. I would teach them how to defend themselves and when it is appropriate to defend themselves.

Showing affection is not a bad thing. Respecting, ones self ones elders and ones partners are all important lessons.

As far as TV and Video games are concerned I know a lot of
Christians who's children are addicted to them. Being christian does not make them exempt.

If a child is taught to respect their bodies and their health, If their taught the truth about drugs and shown there affects. If they are taught to be responsible and respectful drugs will not be a problem.

Why do insist your way is the only way.
BTW more Christians commit suicide than any other religion.

Answer 4

Just because there is no Jesus doesn't mean there aren't any morals.
You teach your kids that fighting is wrong, because it's disruptive, hurtful, destructive, and counterproductive. You teach kids that having sex early is going to have negative consequences -- you can get pregnant, you can get STDs, you can have emotional overload. You teach kids that they have inherent value, not because Jesus loves them, but because they are loved, unique, and amazing individuals. You tell them not to do drugs and alcohol because it will fry their brain, lead them to unhealthy choices, destroy their future-- all for a little bit of fun. You tell them that you don't have to do what MTV tells them because they're smart, thoughtful individuals who know that what their peers do isn't responsible.

In fact, all of these answers are more satisfying than "God says 'No." They're more logical, they're more connected to life as is perceived, and more immediate.


(Note that you said Christian beliefs... there are many, MANY people throughout the world who would say that many other religions offer an as good, or better, moral compass for raising children. The morals of Buddhism teach self-control much better than Christianity, which is still intertwined with consumerism. The "conservative" morals of Islam certainly put much more fear into its subjects when discussing sexuality, drug use, popular culture, etc. If you want to force your children into submission by saying "God says no, NO NO" then why not adopt those morals?)

Answer 5

Well, I have yet to have children considering I have yet to be able to afford them, or be in a stable relationship in which children would be welcome, but please, use my parents as an example.

I was raised by two highly intelligent, college educated, upper middle class people (both had been raised by working class parents). My parents were both raised by Christian parents, one set Catholic, the other Protestant, and then both, previous to meeting each other, became agnostics, though my mother is more of an atheist at this point in time.

I, and my three siblings, were raised without the influence of any church, religious figures or teachings, not to mention MTV (we had cable, it just was never deemed appropriate that we spend too much time watching it). I never learned to play video games, I have never been on medication meant to affect my mind, I didn't date until my teens, and even then I was cautious and particular. I do not fight, I have never been pregnant, or had an STD, and I don't curse except in highly painful or stressful situations. I have never done illegal drugs, nor did I drink in high school. I value my life to the point where even extreme depression could not push me to the point in which I would consider ending it, the precious thing that it is.

Throughout my childhood I received numerous safe-sex, anti-porn, pro-morality, pro-intelligent choices, anti-smoking and anti-drug lectures and conversations well before such was taught to us in school.

I love and respect my parents and my siblings, and I have a great deal of self-awareness and empathy for others that really only comes from self-reflection and careful consideration.

I would challenge you to point out where my parents went wrong. They never force fed us anything in regards to religion or atheism/ agnosticism, and I was really only made aware of religion and the concept of god through my friends, and the occasional book on Greek mythology that fascinated me for the duration of my childhood.

I am now an intelligent, careful and cautious person, who has yet to truly regret anything I have ever done. I have always been greatly successful at the things I devote myself to, and I could easily be described as a "nice girl", if just a bit arrogant and occasionally ferocious in the defense of my beliefs. What I am is the result of excellent parenting, as well as a great deal of positive genetic traits.

So, again, I must ask, where did my non-Christian parents go wrong?

Answer 6

As for teen pregnancy and STDs...a non-Christian parent could quite possibly tell their child that if they respect their body and themselves, they would avoid getting into such situations by either using protection or abstaining from premarital sex. As for fighting and cussing, if the parents instill peaceful and tolerant beliefs in their children, such behaviors shouldn't be a problem. I don't see how these issues are exclusively remedied with Christian beliefs. Parenting is perfectly possible without relying on a certain religion's doctrine.

And not all non-Christian parents are irresponsible enough as to fail to monitor the outside influences of their children.

People were parenting before Christianity came around.

Answer 7

Although I agree with your point of view, unfortunately it sounds as though you think Christian kids don't get involved in all the foibles you have mentioned, despite their parents' best efforts to teach them otherwise. Fact is, Christian kids do become pregnant out of wedlock, contract STDs, have low self-esteem, commit suicide, have abortions, and use drugs. at almost the same rate as non-Christian kids. Why? Perhaps its because they are bombarded with the same social pressures, enticements, curiosity, and sexual appetites as non Christian kids. Or perhaps its rebellion against the hollow religiosity, hypocrisy, and poor role modeling they perceive in their parents' lives. I just do not have the answer.

Answer 8

What makes you think non-Christian parents don't teach these things to their children? My parents were non-practicing Christians (meaning they just say they believe in God so everyone will leave them alone). I didn't get STD's or get pregnant because my parents told me the truth about my body and sex. I have good self esteem. I've never attempted suicide. I tried drugs but ultimately decided I liked the natural high of being alive. I was taught to be my own person and to be myself rather than let others dictate who I should be (ala no emulation of celebrities for me and I didn't really give into peer pressure as a result). I was taught to respect myself. My TV viewing was limited. The Internet wasn't around when I was growing up, but my guess is my parents would have limited it.

My parents taught me to be a responsible adult and to make good choices by being positive role-models for me to follow and by talking to me, spending time with me, telling me the truth, and answering my questions. Not by forcing Jesus down my throat. Sorry - this is a lame argument. My brother and sister turned out to be responsible, well-adjusted adults, too. None of us are Christian.

ADDED: Wow, you sure think highly of yourself and your parenting. I'll put you in for mommy of the year. My sister is Agnostic, and her kids are better behaved than the children of a Christian friend of mine. Some of our atheist friends have kids who are more well adjusted and better behaved than some of the Christian kids they go to school with. Seriously - I don't think anyone here is saying they're experts. But I was RAISED by non-Christians, too, dear. And I've seen examples where my siblings children are better behaved and more well adjusted than some of these kids raised in Christian households. And you call yourself an expert based on your experience but no one else's experience amounts to a hill of beans? Personally - I don't think it has to do with religion. It has to do with parenting. Either you pay attention to your kids or you don't. Period. End of story. Jesus doesn't have to be part of that equation. Sorry if that upsets you.

Answer 9

Hey, I was raised with Jewish beliefs and I'm just fine. My children were raised with Jewish beliefs and they grew up to be happy, successful and fulfilled. Why do you assume that if you are not a Christian, you don't have any morality? You give Christians a bad name by being so arrogant.

Answer 10

My parents are non-religious, and they raised my sister, brother and I that these things are not good.
Sure we all made our share of mistakes, and they continued to love us. Now I am a Christian and will raise my son to make smart choices, but they will be his choices to make when he is older.
I have met Christian kids that when not around their parents, cuss and act terrible, and I have met wonderful kids that come from non-religious families.
And same vice versa

Answer 11

If a parents needs the carrot of Jesus' love and the stick of eternal fire in hell to teach their children these morals, I would say the conclusion is that they are a bad parent.