comforting words for a friend who lost a parent?

Question

my best friend that i went to catholic school with until we were in 8th grade (i am now in 12th) just had his father pass away on saturday. when im thinking of things to say i feel like i have the perfectw words, but when i talk to him i always choke up and have to try not to cry and be strong for him. i want to be the best supporting friend i can be, but i guess ive never really experienced something like this- with someone so close tome dying. he has thankfully been calling me because he loves to talk to me and i am so happy that he wants ME to be there to help him through this hard time, but is there anything encouragin that has helped you when best freind told you- or is there truly nothing to be said? please let me know! thanks!

thank you all so much for helping me because i know each of you meant it from the heart. i was shocked at how many responses i got within10 minutes! i know brett would be so happy to see how supportive you all are during this time. i am trying to be the best freind possible and brett has asked me to go with him to the viewing and the funeral. it is all new to me but thank you all for letting me know that just being there, hugging him, and lending him a hand is all he really needs right now. i plan on spending time with him ALL summer because iw ant to sue to reunite and be as close as we once were. i am upset at the way this was brought upon me but everything happens for a reason and i know his father is in such abetter place and hes probably laughing at us for crying! thanks guys!

Answer 1

i think you should not talk about his father to him right now--let him forget that someone he loves passed away, and let him live life...to the fullest! But if you pity and want to encourage him, then...?? Be patient. Be Kind. Pray to god for help.

Answer 2

There is not much to help comfort someone at this time. Try a hug and just bieng there to give him a smile or a cheery hello to let him know things go on and in time he will move forward. Every one grieves differently and there is no time span for mourning, be there for him and be supportive and he will be happy to have a shoulder to lean on when he needs it. When he wants to talk about his dad let him get it out. When my family lost a very close family member we had a dvd playing of him from pictures of his great times he had with all of us. Maybe make him something similar so he can look back on it and remmeber happier times with his dad not only the sadness of loosing him. Hope this gives you some ideas and him some comfort... deepest sympathies

Answer 3

There may not be a perfect phrase or thing to say to your friend about his loss. What you can tell him is that you care, that you want to listen, and that you want to support him. Then listen. Even being together in silence is ok. Sometimes it's even better than talking.

I think it's great that you are there to comfort your friend through this time. Maybe you two could go for walks together so that he remains connected to the world around him. You should not be afraid of your emotions. If you feel like crying, go ahead. Expressing emotion is a very human and alive thing to do, and you would be showing your friend that it's ok to cry and show emotions.

One last comment, since I have a few friends who have lost parents: Sometimes people go through a very angry stage when they are grieving. Please do not take it personally. It is a normal part of the process and it will pass. Good luck to you and your friend.

Answer 4

Yes, be there for him, to listen and offer comfort. Encourage him to speak about the things he liked best about his Dad, the things he will keep with him forever in his life experience of having this man. Let him its okay to grieve and there is no set time limit on when that grieving ends...it is different for each of us.

-And tell him to remember the best, not the worst or negative things about his father - and try to live his life in a positive manner so his Dad would be proud of his efforts, and invariably, so will he.

I would never just say nothing...I would speak to him about the importance of fathers in our society, how many don't ever get to experience one, yet alone, a good one - and this can be painful to some, if not all - a void in their lives. He was a lucky guy if he loved his father and his father was there for him and a good man - and if this is the case, remind him of this...for there are many who simply never even have that opportunity and wonderful life experience.

Goodluck honey...These are the matters someone shared with me when I lost my Dad and it helped so much...

Grace

Answer 5

I've never had a friend who had a parent die but, they have had their parent(s) move away. It is really hard to not cry about it. But, if you do cry about it, at least they will know that they are not alone with the pain of losing someone who is important to them. I would try my hardest to tell them what I really feel like. It might help them more than you would expect, if you feel weird about it then I would advise that you just go on doing what you're doing.

Answer 6

You just need to be yourself.He wants to go on enjoying his life,and you need to be normal.Neither of you could help the situation. As Catholics you will know his Dad is in a better place. There will be new things for your friend to get through. Grief takes time. You want to be there for that good time when the grieving stops,and he will know what a really neat friend you are.I myself hate mushy sentiments. I would far rather peole be themselves. I know you run out of things to say. But just be compassionate with him,not sympathetic. God Bless!

Answer 7

The best thing for you to do is just be there for him. If he need to talk then just listen and if you need to give him encouraging words then that is when you need to depend on God to give you the right words to say. The most important thing is for you to let him know that you are there for him and are willing to do anything you can to help make this time easier for him and his family.

Answer 8

There is not much you can say to comfort someone when they lose a loved one. If you however, feel like crying, perhaps he might too. Just tell your friend that you care very much and you're there if he needs you. That's all you can do.

Answer 9

Speak from your heart. I know it sounds cheesy but no one on yahoo answers can give you the BEST reply for YOU. You have to be brave and speak what's on your mind. I had the same problem. It's upsetting...

Answer 10

well i have add my grandma gone so i would say i know u are going through a rough time right now but i promise we will get through this if u want to contact me here is where u can [e-mail]