Can a long distance relationship really work?

Question

My boyfriend just moved to Maryland yesterday while i'm still in houston, tx. He moved to pursue his football career or his law enforcement career with help from family members in Virginia who have "connections". We're not sure how long the move will last or if it will be permanent. We both love each other and want to make it work but it's hard not being able to see him, when i'm used to seeing him everyday. It's not a trust issue at all, it's an issue of not seeing each other enough. I'm a college student with a full time job and a daughter so travel isn't always possible for me, and he stays busy as well. Can this relationship work? Or should I let it go? I was single for a long time before him because i hadn't found anyone that made me feel like he did, or that i connected with on the same level. Is it worth holding on to?

Answer 1

Speaking from DIRECT EXPERIENCE!!! It's up to you BOTH... I started dating my now husband 5 years ago....we met online...We both were in different cities and started to vist each other about once a month....it would normally be a weekend and I would get a sitter to watch my son....It started getting really heard because of school for me and work and sitter issues...He could go and come as he pleased without worry until he started working on weekends...

It got to the point were with him being an hour ahead of me where he was started taking a toll...I missed the man...I wanted to have someone there to hold, kiss, hug me all that stuff and he wasn't there or well shall I say I had to wait for our scheduled weekend...And just as you stated trust wasn't an issue but I didn't like him kicking it with friends and me not really being able to do the same....

I got to the point were the phone and internet and those weekends weren't enough and we broke up for some time...Although we still talked and we got back together and broke up a few more times....Being truely honest...it depends on the persons and if you both are truely in love with each other...If you love him and it's meant to be then it will....I never knew that we would get married although after 3 years I let him know how I felt about him and that I wanted to marry him....

We both decided that dating other people and not speaking to each other wasn't what we wanted and we decided to spend the rest of our lives together....It was a heard 4+ years...and we did break up and get back together a few times....But in the end we both knew that we wanted each other and that we loved each other....

You have to decide for yourself if you want to take yourself and your child through it....Because trust me your child will go through it with you.....It was a hard decision for me and most of my friends had some words that weren't encouraging but most will...it's your decision...be prepared for a hard time...

good luck...

Answer 2

If you trult love him, then yes! Sometimes a seperation is a test. A test to see how strong your love really is for each other. If you truly believe he is your soul mate, and you know you cant live one day with out, then girl TRY to make it work. Great guys are rare anymore. And it's hard finding one with the qualities you described. But if you are on here questioning him, then you may have already made up your mind. This is your call. No one else can do this but you. If you love the guy, dont let him go. If you know if your heart you could live your life with out him in it, then break up. No point in wasting precious time with the wrong one. Life is too short. Hope I have helped you in some way. Good Luck:)

Answer 3

I think it would work out cause u to love each other more then anything. Love is always the best thing that will keep people together and as long as u love him an trust him to love u the same way an wait for u to finish what your doing where u are and then if he has to stay there for a long time an he will wait. Then i wish u to the best.............

Answer 4

Perhaps this long distance relationship will not work. As a single mother, your primary responsibility is to your child. Every ounce of energy - and money - you put into trying to keep a long distance romance afloat takes away from your child. If you were the most important thing to this man, he would have moved heaven and earth to stay near you. If he expected to one day be a father to your child, he would have found a way to stay.

I am not saying he is not, in his own way, a good man. He is just not the man for you at this point in his life or yours.

Answer 5

I say hold on to what you have with him, with everything you've got.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I moved 600 miles away from my boyfriend of 3 years. I really didn't know when I would see him again because money was tight. (I am a single mom of two) Well 6 days after I got where I was going, he showed up!! He had driven 600 miles to see me. Two weeks later I was on a plane to see him. Two weeks after that he drove 600 miles once again to see me. It changed everything for me. I decided to move back the very next day!!

I know that you might not be in a position to move at this point but who is to say that when you finish school you won't be able to?!

Don't give up. See what happens. If it becomes time to give up on the two of you, you will know it, if not be strong. (And make sure you have unlimited long distance on your phone!!)

Answer 6

It is worth holding on to, you love him and no one has made you feel the way he does, you don't throw that away on a little distance. Give it time, it's fresh you will see that being apart will bring you closer. First you will feel sad, then mad, and then frustration will set because you can't see him, but just know that you are with him, know that being together is not "being" together. If you both see the relationship as worth it, there is no distance. Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes it's definitely worth holding onto. My boyfriend had to move to europe for 2 years while i stayed home in the US and we're getting married in july!! If anything the distance made us love each other more!!

Good Luck hun if it's meant to be then things will work out!!

Answer 8

here is what i think love is so hard to come by and when it does it just takes up all your thoughts and time . I think if u love him deeply and end it ull mind will always wonder . long distance relationships are hard but if u still have that feeling inside ur heart if u still love him then dont rush things see how it goes if u find it so hard and u lose that feeling talk to him see what he thinks for me i think connection is the most important thing if u lose it u might lose all but if u still have it and u know he still loves u then keep trying

Answer 9

It could work if you both let eachother go for the time being and just get back together when he returns.
That is the only way that it will work.
Because if you don't, it will become a trust issue, and then you will break up for sure.

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Answer 10

you have a child, so in my opinion being a single parent as well, i would have to say no!! your feelings for him may not change but you cant live in the moment you have to move on...... the most important thing is to focus on school and youre daughter. you need to express your concerns w/ your bf. cause utimatley youll need compainonship and youll soon get fustrated w/ not having him around. the best thing for this situation is to remain friends at least until you both come to some sort of an agreement to offically start a family and physically be able to live in the same area. this is especially good for your child as well w/ getting to know him too, b/c children tend to react to your actions, not words!! good luck!!