I have a girlfriend who I've known since 8th grade (we're both now in our mid-twenties). We've stayed in contact, attend eachother's children's birthday parties and talk on the phone/email every couple months for hours! We live on opposite ends of town so it's been harder to get together in person much. We've never had a falling out and are there for each other, get along well and enjoy each other's company. I knew that she was planning a wedding and had yet to get to meet the guy but she didn't talk much about it to me. She had 2 other girls who went to school with us as part of her wedding party but I didn't even find out about her wedding until the week after! I wasn't expecting to be a part of the wedding party but at least I thought I'd get an invite to the ceremony. She left me a VM saying she had just gotten married and emailed me all the pictures. It's almost like she didn't realize I'm offended that she didn't include me. Should I mention it to her or leave it alone?
2007-05-22 08:12:33 · 20 answers · asked by MommyTaylor 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You obviously didn't read my ?, the wedding is already over! I'm asking if I should bring it up to her or act like it's no big deal even though it offended me. I would've included her in my wedding (haven't had one yet).
2007-05-22 08:19:12 · update #1
It's a first wedding but she already has 2 kids so she was "common law" married before to a guy we are both friends with.
It seemed like a big wedding she had 10 people in her wedding party in the pictures.
2007-05-22 08:21:52 · update #2
Wow, that's rude not to invite you and then send pictures! I'd reply to that email and tell her you're hurt. Explain that you thought you were close and that you would have enjoyed sharing in her special day with her. You should also send her a card saying congratualtions. Maybe she'll get the point that you're happy for her and she may realize that she made a mistake in not inviting you. It's not like you haven't known her for a long time!
If she had a small wedding with a few close family members and friends, she should at least explain that to you. Was it a big wedding or small one? That could make a big difference.
Well, it does sound like it was a big wedding, and therefore, should have invited you. I would certainly say something. Don't get mad but rather handle it with tact and just simply tell her how you feel. Be open to her responding and giving you a reason. I seriously doubt your invitation was lost because she most likely would have asked why you weren't there or didn't RSVP.
2007-05-22 08:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this was intentional it was quite tacky to invite you to the shower w/o inviting you to the wedding. It would tick me off too if this happened to me! Too bad you already sent the gift. I would call the bride's mother to clarify or embarrass, whatever the case may be: "I was invited to the shower, but never received an invitation to the wedding. I'm wondering if perhaps my invitation was lost in the mail." And in some cases, it is. My parents are planning their anniversary party, and all the clergy at their synagogue received an invitation except the head rabbi. He wasn't sure whether he should say anything, but he spoke up. My parents are now investigating whether there was a mix up at the invitations store or the post office. At least one other person didn't receive their invitation either.
2016-05-20 01:58:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I've had a similar experience where I wasn't invited to a wedding for an old high school friend. I was talking to her a lot at the time and was hurt and dissapointed that I wasn't invited to her wedding. I don't know why I expected to be invited, I just did, though I can understand why she didn't invite me.
I never told her how hurt I was by not being invited and still hold a grudge to this day. If she is a close friend- you shoud tell her or it will hurt your relationship in the future. If she is not a close friend, just let it go.
Needless to say, she is not invited to my upcoming wedding.
2007-05-22 09:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tessa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Least said, soonest mended.
If you want to remain friends with this woman, send her a nice card congratulating her and wishing her well.
No gift, no $$ - just a nice card. That's all she's expecting. Or at least that's all she SHOULD be expecting.
If she comments on your misplaced gift - then set her straight about being hurt at not meeting the groom and not being invited to the wedding and how offended you were by the way she announced her marriage via a voice mail message - and emailed pictures.
Reconsider this friendship.
2007-05-22 08:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't tell her how disappointed and hurt you are it will eventually affect your relationship subconsciously anyway and I believe in honesty so you really should "talk" to her, either by phone or in an e-mail. You need to tell her that you thought your friendship with her was deeper than an afterthought of "hey I got married, see the pictures" and not at least an invitation. You know if she really valued your friendship she would have told you as soon as she was engaged and even if she had to limit the number of invites she would have said, I'm so sorry I can't invite you but I want you to know I want you there. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-22 08:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it get to you too much. There are always 101 reasons why certain people get invited to a wedding and not others. Even people are think they are very close may not get invited. You should talk to her about it but don't end a freindship over an invite to a wedding. There could be worse things.
2007-05-22 08:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by GDAYFAN932 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it a first or second marriage? If a first marriage, I'd be a little offended, also. With second marriages, however, people tend to be a lot less formal about ettiquette. Another thought is that maybe you two aren't as close as you thought. It comes down to how big a person you are. Are you a big enough person to let it go and continue to be her friend or aren't you? Either way, you are well within your rights to tell her how you feel so long as you do so with tact and compassion for HER feelings.
2007-05-22 08:19:17 · answer #7 · answered by stevijan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say something, but not in an offended, angry manner. Just a simple, "why didn't I get invited?" will suffice. If you keep calm and speak nicely, an arguement shouldn't arise, and maybe the frienship can be salvaged.
Otherwise, it may be time for you two to go your separate ways. Some friends don't last forever, unfortunately.
2007-05-22 08:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by jennybee811 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i were in your shoes I would say to her, "I'm so sorry I missed your wedding! I didn't even know you were getting married! Did mail me an invitation?" see you never know what could've happened the invitation might have gotten lost in the mail, or maybe she thought she told you...
2007-05-22 08:37:51 · answer #9 · answered by new mommy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you should let her know how you feel!!! If you don't it will continue to bother you until you blow up about the situation. That's not right what she did and at the very least you should get a reason to why you were not invited. ALONG with a apology!
2007-05-22 08:27:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋