Mom of 4 year old trying to feel better about my decision...?

Question

I've been home with my son for 1.5 years. He's been in pre-school 3 days/ week for this past school year and did great. He's an only child and he's the light of my life.

I had a nice career before him and for the first couple years of his life.

And I've missed working so much that I kinda feel like I've lost my self.

I love my son so much, but I am getting more and more depressed. I know MOM is the most important job, but I still feel "not very valuable."

So...I went looking for the perfect job and I found it! And it's close to home and they KNOW how important my son is. I asked for and was given the hours of 9-4. So outside of nap time, my son is only in "school" for approx. 6 hours a day.

I think school is great for him as an only child, and he does start kindergarten this year.

I want to work, but I have so much anxiety about him going to "school" 5 days a week, especially when he says he wants me to stay home with him.

Help me feel better????

Answer 1

Just reading this tells me you are a good mom. Your son will try anything to get his way!! (I have one too!) He bats his pretty little brown eyes and looks at me like the kitty in Shrek......he gets almost everything he wants!! I wish I were as lucky as you to be able to stay home with him, I miss all the little new things he does and says. Sounds like you have a pretty good set up with your job, he needs to get out there and socialize with other kids his age, you are actually doing both yourselves a favor. Lighten up!!! :)

Answer 2

i was a stay at home mom for the first 2 years of my son's life. He is also an only child.. and as much as i HATED the thought of daycare... i HAD to put him in it and you know what? he started to learn sooo many more things in just the first week! he talked better, went to the potty better... he's a lot more comfortable around other kids now too.
i think in order for you to be the best mom possible~ you must first make sure YOU are happy and healthy and taking care of yourself and your needs. It will reflect on your son. I work mon-fri 8 to 5. a little longer then i'd like.. but it helps out with the bills and gives me a little 'me time' in the process! good luck with everything!

Answer 3

I'm glad you stayed home with your son for so long. I really am. Will you be picking him up right after work? Any chance of possible overtime? Or set hours?
I stayed at home for my son's first three years. Why? Because when he was six months old, I went to my former supervisor at my favorite place of employment, and asked about getting a job. She told me to stay home-that my son needed me for at least the first three years of his. life. I am so very glad I listened to this fine lady.
You are more valuable than you ralize as a stay-at-home mom--100% more valuable than you realize. Did your mom work when you were so young? When I was a child, it felt so good, and so secure, to get to come home after school, and know that my mom (sometimes my sister) was there when I walked thru the door. There is such a wonderful feeling of love, security, comfort (unless abused) by having mom at home with a child.
You won't feel so rushed in the mornings, or in the evenings for getting everyone ready and out the door, or hardly any time at night before it's time for bed to spend together.
Plus, as a mom of a son, I have found such a good bond with my son that is "just there". They only stay so young for such a small amount of time. Honest. Yes, I'm going the way of stay at home, but if you "need" to work, for financial reasons-truly can't make it without the job--okay. However, if you are married, and don't "need" to work, then please stay home with your son. In the long run, I do believe you would be happy. Also, if you feel the need to be around adults, to not talk young'ins talk, get together with MOPS - Mothers Of Preschoolers, if there is a group in your area.
It's your choice. Take care.

Answer 4

A child will always choose (at a young age that is) to be home with their mommy. School is very good for kids and chances are he will love the interaction. Its not like you will be working a massive amount of hours, and your needs are important also, you have put in your time at home, and I absolutely think it is fine for you to go to work. Half the time my worries are just that mine, and my kids adapt better than I do. I have been at home for 7 yrs now and my youngest is heading to 1st grade in the fall and I am thinking of going to work for the school in fall, its scary, but I also think it will make me feel more useful, or whatever you want to call it, being a stay at home mom is such a thankless job, well worth it, but no one seems to appreciate it. I know my kids will when they are older and can understand. Good luck and don't feel guilty, mommies have a right to life outside the home too.

Answer 5

You'll be the best mother to your son if you take care of yourself. I'm a firm believer that a happy mom is a good mom. If work makes you happy - go for it! He'll get used to it...he has to anyway because he'll be going to school in a few months. I think that's best for him. This way he'll be used to the environment and kids once he goes into kindergarten.

I am a SAHM (stay at home mom). However, I too feel like I've lost myself when I had my son. I quit working three years prior to having him so I could finish my education. But, now having the education and no job is depressing. I understand how your feel.

I just wish I had the option of going back to work now...

Answer 6

I stayed home for about 7 years w/my kids I did what you r doing I waited for my little one to start pre- k and got me a part time job, my goal is to be home when they come back from school, it did work for a little bit but to be honest w/u i gave my 2 weeks notice and I'm back to being a full time mom not only for summer but for a life time, I'm the kind of mom that likes a clean house and stuff so i found my self spending more time doing house work after work that spending good quality time w/ my family, so now I can clean in the morning and have a wonderful time w/family in the afternoon. summer time is here and we have all kinds of activities planed, it may be different for you it sure will take u and your little one to get use to the new routine,so give it a shot and find out if that is what you want

Answer 7

A good Mom is also a happy Mom!!! Both you and your son will be happier. He is at a great age to start going to school more and kindergarden is around the corner. Yes, being a Mom is the most important job but who says you can't have two jobs! Congrats on your new job!!!

Answer 8

you've been home with him for the last 1.5 years... if he asks you to stay home until he goes to college, is that reasonable?

it's ok to cut the cord and help him be independent. or maybe we should help you be indepedent! getting a job is a good role model for him. it will show him responsibility and maturity.

you're doing the right thing. and he's going to kindergarten soon anyway.. and the truth is, he prefers the routine of school 5 days a week rather than 2-3 days a week.

Answer 9

My son was 8 months old when I went back to work. I was also very depressed about staying at home. I think it's just not for everyone.

Your son will learn to love his "school". Mine certainly does. It's very healthy for him to be around other children and learn to socialize. Following a school curriculum will also help prepare him for Kindergarten.

It will definitely be hard the first couple of weeks, but it will be worth it. You will BOTH be happier in the long run.

Answer 10

It's okay I bet if I was a mom I would do the same thing. My mom stayed was in college and had a job when I was little but when my mom had my sister she stayed home with her until my sister was 5. I did just fine in school and interacting with other kids but my sister had problems.