I was pretty nasty when I got home from work yelling at him cause he didn't have his phone on him so I couldnt get in touch with him before I got home. I have been asking him for the past 2 yrs to please keep ur phone on you when ur home so I can get in touch with you. I was pretty nasty and left him a nasty voice mail because I was so angry. We started yelling at each other and he backed me into a corner by stepping forward. I wasn't scared because he has done this before. Usually I back down when he does this but last night I just had enough so I really started yelling back also right in his face like he was doing to me. Then he physically shook me and I would of fallen over if not for the wall behind me. Now my back is out and I'm alittle sore. I have no bruises. I guess I want to know does this constitute abuse. He claimes I was emotionally abusing him and it was the only thing he could think of to get me to stop yelling.
2007-05-22 07:40:42 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, this is physical abuse; never lay hands on someone in anger.
Also, sounds like you are both emotionally abusive to each other.
Get some counseling and learn to 'fight fair', or this relationship is in big trouble.
2007-05-22 07:48:39 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very careful. He should not have shaken you. Also, maybe you need to back off him a little. I understand he should have kept his phone on, because what if it was an emergency and you really needed him? Since he shook you to the point that you are sore, that is very serious. You need to have a talk with him about it. If you want to work it out, maybe both of you need counseling. Why the hell is he walking you into walls and getting up in your face? You don't have to do that to make a point.
I just got out of an abusive relationship with my fiance. Everything was good in the beginning, then he would blow up over basically nothing. If he does it again, you should leave. Abuse starts off small and then it escalates. He will apologize and say he won't do it again, but he will. And the next time it will be even worse.
2007-05-22 07:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by Babylesley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in the back of your mind you feel it's abuse...chances are it is. People should never put their hands on one another. in any situation. You should get out now, because you sound like a battered woman. "I was pretty nasty when I got home from work yelling at him cause he didn't have his phone on him so I couldnt get in touch with him before I got home." Don't make excuses for either of you. You had an argument and that's that. That's how they happen, one person gets mad and the other defends.
While he could have just forgotten about the phone, what if something horrible had happened?
2007-05-22 07:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by beeslady115 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both guilty of abuse. He's correct that yelling and screaming at someone is emotion abuse. It's as damaging to a relationship as physical abuse. The difference is emotional abuse doesn't kill you as quickly, but it can drive a desperate person over the edge. His physical abuse of you may be something you consider as 'mild', but historically it will only get worse over time. Intimidating you by backing you into a corner is emotional abuse. Shaking you is getting into the physical realm. It sounds like to the two of you need to get some counseling and discover what the real issues are that keep you fighting. From your question this isn't something new and someone is going to get seriously harmed if the cycle isn't broken.
2007-05-22 07:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by AngelBleu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not abuse yet but it is going to turn into that and is very close to it. I would try to examine why you take his screaming and what happens when you start standing up for yourself. Does not sound like it will be good. Dont stay in that kind of relationship where you always feel threatened or belittled. Talk and try to work the problems out or you def wont be happy. This will get worse if you stay in the relationship and continue to overlook it.
2007-05-22 07:57:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is abuse. Ge tout of the relationship now before it gets worse. You may not even see another "bout" for a year or until your next fight, but do you want to risk that? If you stay with him now he will know that he can get away with what he did. No person ( man or woman ) deserves that. There are plenty of non-abusive men out there. I have never laid a hand on any woman. Please don't let it happen again, for your sake.
2007-05-22 07:48:11 · answer #6 · answered by Scotty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are guilty of verbal abuse, but he is definitely guilty of physical abuse. Just ask you back if you dont beleive me.
My suggestion is that you leave him. If you think this kind of behavior will change with time, you are sadly mistaken. He is not turning his phone on, because he wants to control his own life, and will not share that control with you.
He has backed you up before and you submitted. When you stood up to him, it made him angry and he shook you violently.
As for his lame excuse of "its the only thing he could think of to get you to stop yelling", excuse me, but that is pure "udder" Bull Shi*. He is out of control, and if you do not give him an ultimatum to stop yelling at you and make you part of the relationship, you need to leave him. For your own safety.
Otherwise, someday, mark my words, you will not only be in the hospital, but quite possibly in the morge.
Good luck to you
2007-05-22 08:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by Daniel R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not have put his hands on you period, yes it is abuse even though you verbally abused him, relationships can be very stressful at times especially after a long day at work but under no circumstances should any physical violence be initiated, you should both take time out to cool before talking about irritating issues.
2007-05-22 07:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It loooks like the start of something big. keep a list of dates if this keeps happening.Generally these arguments are one sided , with you being the loser. They get progressively worse.I don't know what girls think they need to put up with this for.you don't need it .I have no respect for a guy that manhandles a girl.,or the other way around for that matter. If this keeps happening when children come along they will be in danger too. If you see any more"red flags". get out !!!
2007-05-22 07:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by on my own again 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that doesn't constitute abuse, it's definitely right on the border. Be mindful of how he reacts in anger toward you and others. You don't need to be with someone that has 'anger control issues.' If he'd been raised with sisters, he'd know already that was crossing the line. How's his relationship with his mother? That might tell you alot. Any past girlfriends report or allege abuse? Be careful.
2007-05-22 07:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋