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i was making his lunch and like i do sometimes i ask him to take the dog outside to do its thing. a woman knocked at my door and said she witnessed my son swing the dog around and pick her up and throw her. i was mortifed. my god does this mean this time he was caught how many times has he done this. my son is special needs in that he was neglected as a baby and early toddler. my huband and i now have full custody of him and his siblings. he is in a special school and has never been diagnosed as any thing but requiring love which he now has pleanty of....i just did not see this coming she made me feel like a bad parent. am i because i trusted him and wanted him to have some responsibilities. he is 5 and she is a small breed 3yr old dog. i dont know what to do or say........

2007-05-22 07:34:46 · 20 answers · asked by jennifer_nej 1 in Pets Dogs

My son is my stepson not a foster child.

2007-05-22 08:16:10 · update #1

20 answers

Teach him some old school wisdom.

Love the animals. God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. Do not trouble it, don't harass them, don't deprive them of their happiness, don't work against God's intent.
- Dostoyevsky

2007-05-22 07:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

With your child being a special needs child it makes the situation a bit more tough. However by how you worded things it makes it seem more like he was an abused child rather than a handicap child. If that is the case you need to get on this right away. Being aggressive towards animals is an early sign of having violence problems later in life. They (children) will test waters with aniamals and take hidden agression/problems out on animals because they feel that they can get away with it.

At five years old though there is time to get a firm grip on the problem before anyone else, be it your son, the dog, or anyone else for that matter being hurt.

My best suggestion would be to sit the child down and speak with him on a simple level. Ask him why he hurt the dog, does he know what he did hurt the dog, and so on and so forth. If you are really worried about how he reacts to speaking with you or you find that this is not the first time he has done this I would get him to a child psycholigist before it gets worse.

I know a handful of people who have handicap children and when they find that the child is upset or that they are not willing to talk they have them draw pictures. Many times the child will draw how they feel or things they have done without even knowing it.

Best of luck with your issue, just remember to stay on top of the issue. It might be hard and send you into tears, but something tells me that it would be worth it in the end.

2007-05-22 07:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by The Cheshire 7 · 0 1

Sadly I know exactly what you are going through my son who just turned 4 and a 3 yr. old (girl) friend of his tried to drowned 2 of our kittens in the hot tub last week. This was not the first time the both of them have tried to cause harm to an animal and i can tell you i have learned the hard way children do repeat everything they see and hear . so my advice to you is show your son as often as possible how to treat animals properly and then make him do it in front of you. also keep the dog kenneled when you cant be right there to keep an eye on them , punishment for the acts of unkindness your son shows the dog and last but i believe most important absolutely limit what your son watches on TV even cartoons if you have had to watch some of the cartoons out today you would be shocked to see what people are considering humor and appropriate for small children, do these things and I'm sure you will see a bug difference in your sons behavior towards the dog..good luck

2016-05-20 01:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You and your husband need to sit him down and explain to him that you don't do this to anyone dog, cat or person. This is also as I'm sure you know how children get bitten. You are lucky you have such a sweet dog. This is a very difficult situation to have to deal with. You and your husband are doing a wonderful thing bringing these children into your home and hearts. Your son is old enough to understand, he needs to know how much you love him and that's why you have given him responsibilities. I'm sure no one has taught him about pets and the fact that they have feeling too. You sound like a wonderful mother and I know you'll work this out. Bless you for all that you are doing. Take care, all the best....

2007-05-22 07:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by SureKat 6 · 1 0

Wow! I dont really know what to tell you because we dont have children yet.. but, If I were you, I would sit him down and talk to him. I know that children that have been abused or neglected can tend to be abusive towards animals and sometimes grow up to be abusive.. unless, it gets taken care of early! I would suggest that you just talk to your son. Let him know that he cant do that to any animal. Make sure you arent too mean about it though, I think that would hurt more than help. But, he needs to know that he is very love (which I am sure he already knows, but you can never say it enough.. ya know?) and that it is not okay to treat animals like that!.. But, like I said, I dont have children so I dont know what would really help. It might be good to talk to a child therapist.. There is probably some deep rooted anger and/ or problems from his past that need to be addressed.... To answer your other question.. No, you are not a bad parent for trusting your child. Children will be children and you cant be there 24/7 to make sure he is doing everything righ. You and your husband sound like wonderful people and wonderful parents. Your children are lucky to have such loving parents! : )... But, again.. I am not an expert on any of this and we dont have children yet.. so, I would suggest talking to your son and if that doesnt help than mabey you need to talk to a proffesonal. Just my opinion... I hope everything works out well! Good luck! : )

2007-05-22 07:56:00 · answer #5 · answered by Love-A-Bull 4 · 0 1

children that young, special needs or NOT, shouldn't be left alone with a small dog. You'll need to do that chore and by all means take him with u to teach him how its done and how u show respect to the dog. calm and assertive not physical in any way. your husband will need to think this is important also or u may have lost the casue. In that case, you'll have to keep a close eye for a long long time to come and do it all yourself, or think about giving it up for the well being of the dog.

I know in most households its the mom who sees to the needs of the pet anyway.

2007-05-25 15:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by mustlovedogs 3 · 0 0

Honestly, you need to watch this closely and also consult a mental health professional. This was the part that concerned me:

my son is special needs in that he was neglected as a baby and early toddler. my huband and i now have full custody of him and his siblings. he is in a special school and has never been diagnosed as any thing but requiring love which he now has pleanty of..

I just finished my MS in psychology and have worked in the mental health field. You really need to adress this with another professional. Kids develop severe mental problems when faced with neglect when they are infants. "Requiring Love" is absurd. Yes, it is crucial, but for that to be the only thing this kid needs, bothers me as a professional. I would challenge the person who said that to you, and I would challenge them as a professional. This is going to lead to violence against other children, and then violence as an adult. You have to get this kid checked out by more than one person. You have to! Kids do not end up in special schools because they "need to be loved". The damage has been done and now it is going to be a very long, hard process to get this kid back to where he should be.

2007-05-22 07:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by budlover 2 · 3 1

I would take him for some counseling if he were my son, just in case. Most young children should not be left alone with dogs for both the dog and the child's protection. At the age of 5, I'm not sure I would leave them alone for long without checking on them. It may simply be that he didn't know any better, but it's hard to be sure without knowing the child. Please get him checked out though because this may be a symptom of something more dangerous/important. Sometimes children with psychological issues will act out against animals before moving on to people. If he was abused, he could be acting out his anger against the dog. Just a thought.

2007-05-22 07:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by larey 3 · 2 1

You are not a bad parent, they say parents have eyes in the back of there head, but is that true :)......I would find a new home for the dog and maybe as your son gets older try to teach him to love an animal. He may not feel he is doing anything wrong, but think of the poor pup. You are an awesome mom for even writing this. If your son happens to do something to the dog, you will blame yourself and that isn't fair to you. See if maybe you have a family memeber who can take the animal for awhile or another home and work on getting another animal as your son gets older. Good luck my dear

2007-05-22 07:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by T G 2 · 0 1

You shouldn't feel bad and don't be upset at the woman. She was just letting you know of a problem she witnessed. As for your son, this is a serious problem because he is starting to abuse the family pet and next it could be other children. You need to punish him somehow and be firm. Second, talk to a counsoler or go to a therapy session. This could help you find out where he learned this behaviour from and what targeted it. He may be a special needs child but he also needs to know that his parents can and will dicipline him. He is five years old and should know right from wrong. At his age there is no excuse for abuse and he needs to accepet responsibility for his actions.

2007-05-22 07:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by al l 6 · 0 2

You know children can be somewhat cruel. Of course what your son did was wrong and he should be corrected, but he was kind of being a boy. Boys when young can be very cruel to animals untill they learn to respect them. When I think back on how many mice, porcupines, ground hogs, and frogs I actually killed as a small child living in the country, I am amazed.
So it may not be that his special needs caused him to do this. It may be that he's just being a boy and needs some disapline.

2007-05-22 07:48:55 · answer #11 · answered by hvykey 3 · 1 1

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