My husband recently bought me a new wedding ring. He basically upgraded my old one for a larger stone. It is a Tiffany style 18k 1 1/2 carat Princess cut solitaire w/platinum head, & it is beautiful...but the thing is...I was really wanting a Pear. I have hinted to him over the years that when he was ready to upgrade to a larger stone, I wanted a Pear shaped solitaire. I know woman have there own styles of what they prefer & I thought it was up to the woman to pick out which ring/stone she likes the best...I dont want to sound ungrateful, but is it wrong to be a little disappointed? He said when he gave it to me, "A Princess for a Princess"...i thought that was soo sweet. But I still woulda preferred a pear. Its my wedding ring, that I will wear til I die. Please help me understand my feelings about this...Im not an ungrateful person...this to me is just different, its my wedding ring....any help? He did tell me in 5 yrs or more he would upgrade to a 2 or 2 1/2 ct, should I wait til?
2007-05-22 07:31:12 · 19 answers · asked by Redd 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Before anyone says, "Why keep upgrading?"...when we got married 7 yrs ago, my husband said he wanted to buy me a 3 carat diamond...he couldnt afford it back than, so he said hes getting there & wont stop upgrading til he gets what he wanted originally for me...which I thought was sweet!!
2007-05-22 07:32:51 · update #1
Maybe he is waiting to get your pear shaped when he gets the 3ct. Why not give you a varity to wear until then. I would not be upset, I would keep the one I have and tell him in a joking way, that the 3ct will be the pear shaped you have always wanted. That you know deep down, that he is giving you varity.
2007-05-22 07:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No do not say a thing!. This is an upgrade. One of many I'd assume. You want a pear shape stone. Get it in another ring that you can also wear the rest of your life. My husband and I bought our rings with the intentions of buying "upgraded" ones later. After our wedding we decided we wouldn't. Those are the rings that were blessed at OUR wedding. How can you upgrade that? How can you replace the feeling of when he slid it on your hand with your friends and family watched on and when you kissed sealing your vows. The thought that we would throw that away for the bigger and better was just not worth the extravagance. Wait til you have a child and get their birth stone in a pear shape or maybe your husbands birthstone with your in two pear shape.
Your husband loves you do not make him feel bad because you did not get exactly what you want.
2007-05-22 14:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by wicked wench 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A surprise gift is not a gift if it is your idea. would you have rather him say a pear for a pear. I think you are being greety and and acting spoiled, do you know how many woman would love to have a nice expensive ring and a man who want to up grade it until it is the perfect size. Wow what a great guy. And the line he used. WOW what a sweet heart. He is trying to up grade it and you are being selfish and wanting more. over the shape... you are lucky I wouldn't say anything but I lOVE IT THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH I WOULDNT TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. if my husband did that. Who care if it is a princess i bet it is just a beautiful. and he is thinking of you at least and keeping his word. appreciate that at least. It is the thought that counts any ways not the size or the shape. Me personally I wouldnt even want it to be upgraded, I would want to wear the EXACT ring I was married with. means more.
2007-05-22 14:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when you're sweet-talking your husband, commenting on how lovely the stone is (it does sound beautiful, lucky girl!), and how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness and generous spirit, you can tell him, the next time he wants to upgrade the stone, you want to be involved and mention again how beautiful pear-cut stones are. I don't think you'll be able to change it this time, since he's already done it, but maybe suggest you do the upgrade sooner (two years?) and offer to pay for part of it yourself, so it feels like it's something you're both involved in, since you're a married couple and a single unit, and the ring represents both of you. Keeping the conversation positive, encouraging and expressing the importance of making the decision together will make him feel like you love what he's doing, and this will make you love it even more.
2007-05-22 14:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by denise25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too wanted a pear shaped stone and told hubby. He came back with a round one!!!
I was outdone.
I know however that he in some ways.."doesn't get it" although he is really a sweetheart.
when we had my stone appraised, I was told it was almost flawless.
Still...girlfriends just like others here told me to not appear ungrateful as men lose their confidence and label you a nag or ungrateful.
they stop trying to please you or buying anything at all for fear of getting their feelings hurt.
many of them mean well but don't quite "get it" with respect to us really wanting JUST what we want.
So I too am biding my time to upgrade to a pear shape.
I have thought of incorporating the first stone into a new setting I'm not sure
but...I will upgrade and tell him..
don't do it now, in a year or two in a romantic mood a few months before your anniversary say "let's go looking at rings" and then ooh and ah over the pear shape.
Tell him "I want my next stone to be a PEAR shape"
see your present ring as a statement of his promise kept and a segue to the ring you really want
hugs
2007-05-22 15:53:35 · answer #5 · answered by creole lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you should just be grateful for what you have. If you dont have the shape of diamond you want, go buy one yourself as a necklace, then you have the pear you want, and you're wearing the ring he gave you as a symbol of HIS love TO YOU!!!!!!! Its mean to say anything about it. It came from his heart and that is ALL that matters
2007-05-22 15:12:20 · answer #6 · answered by mannasox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both situations make you sound totally ungrateful, and you say NOTHING.
It's bad enough that you weren't satisfied with your original wedding ring, that you wanted a replacement. Basically now you just have "A" ring - it's not the ring you were married with. And that you didn't get exactly what you wanted - well, I guess you didn't hint and pout and stomp your foot hard enough.
What in the world are you thinking!!!
Go buy your own darned dress ring in the exact everything you want, if that satisfies your greedy little heart(less). SHEESH!
2007-05-22 15:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It shouldn't matter what shape it is, as long as you realize that this is his way of symbolizing his love for you. Of course you should still have a dream of what you wanted and that will probably not change in a while so just make do with what you have got and wait until he upgrades it again and ask him to choose your own then. Good Luck xx
2007-05-22 15:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt say a thing. What he said was very sweet and it seems that he put some thought into what he was buying. I understand being dispointed but, I would keep it to myself. If you really want that pear shaped ring, go out and buy it yourself. Then you will get exactly what you want.
2007-05-22 14:41:32 · answer #9 · answered by QueenB 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is one nice guy youve got here, a real sweetheart. Maybe he forgot, or got confused, or the slaes person upsold him to the beauty of a princess cut.
You guys havent been married very long, and he is upgrading again, just mention, maybe next time, you could show him what you like, or go together to get it. But this time, just enjoy your wonderful guy, and a beautiful, TEMPORARY ring, as it will change again soon!!
2007-05-22 14:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋