I have been with this guy for a couple months now and everything is great. He loves me and I am MADLY in love with him. The thing is, I never expected things to get this serious. It is a very long distance relationship...so I never told him the *full* truth about me. He thinks I come from a normal family, as in boyfriends are "acceptable" My culture is the complete opposite. I have never told him this, and I know it is too late to hurt him now. I just dont know what to do. He basically told me he wants to marry me, his friends tell me Im all he ever talks about....and gosh, he just loves me way too much (as I do love him too much too). I know this relationship will never work out because I cannot hurt my family...I cannot just "run off" with him, because believe me, my parents will die from shame. I know you guys probably have a hard time understanfing this, but I am in a horrible mess. Strict conservative parents with a very liberal daughter. If I love someone, I know I will hurt
2007-05-22 07:13:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
them in the long run. I want this guy so badly, but I know I will have to end this relationship sooner than later because we keep falling for each other more and more each day. I am forced to pick between true love and my family, and let me tell you, it is breaking me apart. I have cried and cried for 3 days now...I cry myself to sleep because I do not know what I can do. I just need some help...some guidance. Sadly I cannot turn to my family because I know I wil hurt them. They have no idea that I have a boyfriend....and my b/f has no idea how strict my family is.
Please please please someone just tell me any way I can end this. I hate my life, I really do. Sometimes I think suicide is really the best way out...I just cant take it anymore :(
2007-05-22 07:14:00 · update #1
You don't mention how old you are. You sound like maybe 12 years old. If you are that young, then end the relationship with that boy now and minimize the pain.
If you are of legal age, 18 or over, for Pete's sake GROW UP.
No one ever "died of shame". Either decide that you love this man and be his wife, or decide to live on mommy's apron strings for the rest of your life. In either case, stop hurting people with your business of "falling in love when you know nothing can come of it". That is just manipulative behavior.
2007-05-22 07:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how can killing yourself solve this problem. I would think your death would destroy your family as well as the man you love. the other scenario is that you either hurt your family or him. I think that option is better for all parties involved. I'm sure you are young enough to find another as is he if you can't disrespect your parents in that way. But to let your family dictate your life is really not the most healthy thing. Granted I am an American so my viewpoints are obviously different than your own. In the end these are decisions that will affect the rest of your life so if the choice is made by you and not someone else it would be the most fair because it is by the way, your life. Good luck and god bless.
2007-05-22 07:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is NEVER the answer. There comes a point in your life that you must realize that this is YOUR life--not your parents, and make the choices that best suit you. Period. You are independent of them(this is assuming that you are at least 18?). The choices that you make, you have to live with for the rest of your life--so why would you want to live in regret? Why would you want to walk away from someone that you love deeply just because you live in fear of your parents shame? Live your life--it's yours. Make mistakes--it's ok--just don't ever feel that you have to live it according to someone elses rules.
And, I'm sure if you explained to him about your family, he would understand. Frankly, there is no such thing as a "normal" family!! I don't think there is a person out there that doesn't have some embarassing relative, or some ugly family secret that no one ever talks about.
Take a stand. Live your life. Don't let love pass you by. You may have to live with that regret of what "could've" been for the rest of your life.
2007-05-22 07:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by ky_montgomery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to help this situation, but I do have to say that suicide is not the way out.
You are afraid of your parents feeling shame over the fact that you have a boyfriend? How would they feel when they find you dead in your room?
No matter how strict or conservative, I'm sure they would rather hear about your dilemma than find you in the tub with your wrists slit.
2007-05-22 07:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by lexus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strictly speaking, you can't run off with him, but you can ask him to come and visit your family. If he loves you as much as you think he does, he'll want to meet your family. If your family loves you as much as you say they do, they'll want to meet him.
Being a guy, (yeah, I know it's a horrible thing,) I do have some insight on this. And I know this will sound horrible, but if you actually meet in person, you might not like him. It sounds like what you have is "internet" chemistry, (If I'm wrong, it's my fault,) and you haven't seen him.
I know that when I was dating, I wanted to meet my wife's family, so I could see how she'd turn out in 40 years.
Unless your parents are racists, they'll want to see you happy, and they'll want to make sure he can provide for you.
Besides, if you ever want to get married, you'll want your parents there.
I would say that this is the hardest thing you can do. You'll have to approach your parents and let them know you've "Met" someone that makes you happy, and ask if he can come over and meet them. Then talk to him and ask him to come meet your parents. It might prove awkward, but at least you'll know where you stand.
2007-05-22 07:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by josephwiess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long distance relationship? have you even met? is this a chat room romance? how old are both of you? don't decide you're in love til you've actually been in the same real room (not chat room) as the other person. if it's meant to be, it will happen.
2007-05-22 07:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start to live a life for your self
stop worrying about what people are going to say about your realtionship
if you are really in love with this guy and you are DEFINITLY SURE that he loves you listen to your heart but react with your mind.
does he love you enough to put up with all that comes with your family
evaluate the situation.
2007-05-22 07:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by L0V3_$T0N3D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋