How do you get out before it's too late?

Question

I'm stuck on my ex. We've been trying to work things out, but there is a lot of bad history. He's had sex with my "best friend" plus another girl who "means nothing" in the last month and a half. He says I mean everything to him and he was only with those girls because he's a GUY and they "started it". He said he couldn't help himself. During the time he did these things with other girls I wasn't ready to jump back in a relationship with him.. He says it's my fault he had sex with those girls because I needed time to be single... Is that fair? Isn't it true if he truly loves me like he says he would have never had sex with two other girls?

Answer 1

GIRL, you need to kiss that boy goodbye for the rest of eternity! Someone who puts their excuse my french f*ck ups on YOU lke that..don't even get me started. He wasn't thinking with his heart or even his mind-he was thinking with his penis. And a guy who does that isn't a man, he's a little boy. Real men know that there are limitations and boundaries and that you don't cross those. If you are truly in love and in a committed relationship, you don't do things liek that. Sure there are times you may want to, but the difference between a real man, or woman, is actually acting on the desire.
When you break up with someone, it is a loss. Whether or not it was a relief or mutual or anything, it's still a loss of companiionship. And you mourn that loss. If you aren't really committed to the relationship, then there really was never a connection. So you don't mourn the loss of somethign that wasn't there. When you're in mourining over something, be it a death, or relationship, etc, you don't go around making decisions like he has. Some people make weird decisions, but it looks like he was just making decisions based on what he wanted. Who's to say that he didn't cheat on you while you were together?
Sweetheart, you need to find a man that is committed and all about you! And of course you should be the same towards him! This guy is not what you deserve. Don't ever let someone blame their personal faults on you! You are real. You are ENOUGH!
I really hope this helps! Fell better love and if you EVER need to talk-let me know :)

Answer 2

since you guys weren't together when he had sex with those girls, he technically did nothing wrong there. the reason i would say DUMP HIM FOR GOOD is because of how he tried to explain why he did it. "they 'started it', and i'm a guy so i can't control myself" or "it's your fault" is what you're going to hear every time you catch him cheating on you (which a guy who thinks this way WILL do, if he hasn't already). on top of that, he had sex with a girl who was supposedly your best friend, which shows a huge lack of respect/consideration for you and your feelings. the more time you spend with this guy, the more he's going to hurt you. stop wasting your time on him and find a dude who deserves you.

Answer 3

I think that u should take a bold step and walk away,clearly this guy is a player.These two girls may not be the only ones that he slept with,there could be many that u haven't find out about.Its all about will power,just gather it up and walk away.I sense you are deeply into this guy which will make it difficult for u to step,but where theres a will,theres a way,u can do it.good luck : )

Answer 4

If you buy the "your fault he had sex" story then I've got some swamp land to sell you.

He's a lowlife, selfish cheater sugar...and nothing more. How typical of someone with such low values to try to blame their poor behavior on someone else. Anyone who won't take responsibility for their own actions, isn't worth wasting time over...who else is going to "make him" do something down the road?

Answer 5

DROP THAT LOSER LIKE A HOT TATER... HE IS ALWAYS GOIN TO REMIND U AROUND WHAT HE DID I CANT GET OVER WAY LOTTA HIDDEN PORN THAT WAS SOOO HURTFUL ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS THE JEALOUS ONE... I AM JUST SHOCKED WHAT I WOULD LET MYSELF IGNORE OF MY FEELINGS TO MAKE THIS GUY HAPPY I DID LEAVE I AM FINDING MY SMILES I AM TURNING EVERYTHING AROUND.. I AM NOT GOING TO EVER LET SOMEONE DEHUMANIZE ME OR NEGLECT MY FEELINGS IN LOVE aLL IS NOT FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR.. ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER I AM SURE ... IF U LET HIM PUT U THRU MORE PAIN HES NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET IT ALL OFF U CHEST AND IF THERE WAS HOPE THEN MAYBE COUNSLING BUT THAT REALLY DDOESNT WORK THEY ARE NOT SOO INTO IT AND DONT LIKE SEEMING AT FAULT IN FRONT OF OTHORS... WELL MINE SO WE WERE JUST STILL FIGHTING ALL THE TIME AND DID GET THE BIG DIVORCE ANYWAY WE JUST PROCRASINATED ANOTHER YEAR... AND I DONT MISS NONE OF MY XS AT ALL ... I AM MAKING ACOMMITMENT TO ME TO IMPROVE AND COME OUT BETTER AND HAPPIER THAN I CAME IN WOULD NOT ACCEPT SEE OR TALK TO HIM AND IF U DO... ITS GONNA BE THE SAME OL BABBLE HES SPEWIN NOW.. U WILL B THE ONE HURT AND HE WILL B THE ONE GROOVIN ON WITH HIS CANT HELP ITS... O PLEESE IVE HEARD EM ALL U ALREADY KNOW HOW TO GET AWAY FROM HIM AND SOMETIMES YOU KNOW THT IT IS NEVER GONNA WORK AND U PLAY OUT THE BREAKUP TO THE FULLEST... WHATEVER U AND HOWEVER U BREAK IT OFF DO IT NO MAN IS WORTH YOUYR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO IS WONT MAKE U CRY...I AM DIGGIN DEEP IN MYSOUL TO FIND ME I KNOW ITS THE ONLY WAY TO LEARN MY LESSON FROM THIS BROKEN RELATIONSHIP PICK UP THE PIECES AND BE BETTER FOR IT... I USE POETRY AND INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ONLINE READS AND SELF HELP BOOKS I LIKE... YOU JUST HAVE TO GET OUTTA HIM AND GET INTO U... HE WONT EVER MAKE U HAPPY AND JUST CUT THE CORD TO HIM DONT UNWIND IT... UNWINDING HURTS AND TAKES ITS TOLLL I LOST 20 PDS IN 2 MONTHS AND I STILL CANT EAT WELL... BUT I AM NOT ALWAYS CRYIN SOMETIMES I GET A GLIMPSE OF THE MAN I WILL ATTRACT WHEN IM READY AND HEALTHY WITHIN MYSELF....I HAVE TIME TO PICK HIM AND WAIT TO MEET HIM AND IMANGINE THE type OF GUY I NEED I REALLY DUDNT KNO I USUALLY FELL IN LOVE THEN U ARE THARE AND ITS NOT COMFORTABLE... YOU ARE CHOKING... WHY COULDNT HE BE SORRY AS HE IS NOW IN BEGGIN U THEN INSTEAD OF AFTER GIRLS ... READ ALOT IF YOU JUST LOOK UP BREAKIN UP AND STUFF ONLINE I LOOKED UP TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.. AND I DO VISUALIZATION TECQUINIQUES TO CUT THE EMOTIONAL CORD.. THE LONGER I DONT TALK TO HIM THE BETTER I FEEL IF HE WOULD CASLL ME WHEN I WAS STILL A SICK SAD PUPPY OVER HIM WORSSER LOL THAN NOW... I AM SURE I WOULD START ALL OVER AGAIN THE OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS AND THINKIN ON HIM HIM HIM HE ALL GUYS DONT HAVE TO AND CAN HELP IT U KNO U GOTTA GET MAD WISH HIM WELL AND SOUL SEARCH FOR U... YOU WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF SELF IF YOU PICK A GOAL AND START YOUR STEPS... IM SOO MISSERABLE I JUST QUIT SMOKINCICGS 32 HRS AGO. AND I CANT EVEN REALLY TELLL MYEMOTIONS ARE A MESS BUT THERE IS STILL MY FEELINGS AND I AM ALLOWED AND GONNA FEEL ALL THAT AWHILE BUT TALKIN TO HIM OR LISTEN WONT CHANGETHE BETRAYL.. DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOURSELF TAKE YOUR ENERGY BACK AND GIVE IT TIME TO SCAB AND HEAL... IT IS TOUGH BUT WOMEN ARE STRONG AND SOMETIMES WELL USUALLY THAT IS HOW WE GROW AND BECOME WHO WE ARE SO I TRY NOT TO HATE MY X I STILL DO BUT I PRAY THAT HE WILL BECOME AWARE AND I KNOW BY THE TIME HE DOES ILL BE OUTTA HERE 4EVA! BUT ITLL NEVA WORK NOW

Answer 6

this guy is nothing but a game playing looser! it is not your fault for him doing those things to the other girls, BUT, it is your fault if you stay in the relationship and put up with that! JW

Answer 7

RUN! As fast as you can! God I ,me for trapping him in a marriage with kids and he needed the girls cause they didn't have kids even with my cousin His abuse got worse to the point he hit me and I lost two babies in my early pregnancy, he denied I was even pregnant after I lost them and even accused me they were someone else's though I never cheated. Please get out you deserve a man who will love you body and soul and no one in between. They are out there.

Answer 8

Do not believe one word of this. There is no excuse! He is wrong and if he continues to do such why stay it makes no sense at all. He is basically playing you for real so take that some where

Answer 9

i think if he cared any at all than he wouldn't have done that he would have been a man and gave you time. i would just find someone who respected you and what you wanted a relationship is give and take he can't take and not give you have needs and want also

Answer 10

Don't let him blame you for what he did that was not your fault.You did not put a gun to no one head and you should not be blame.He need to stop and think about what happen and realize that you have feeling.He need to think about how he would have felt if it was him that got hurt.Talk to him and see can you make it.