Potty training my 3 yr old son has been a nightmare!! He won't even pee on the potty. any suggestions?

Question

I have tried EVERYTHING. He can hold it, there is no doubt about that, I just can't get him to release himself while sitting on the potty. Yesterday he didn't pee from 9:30 am until 6:30 pm. I am afraid this could be harmful. I think he believes you aren't suppose to go at all. I have TRIED to reasure him that it is OK to go on the potty, but not in his pants. I am at a loss. I have tried bribbing, getting a gold fish, star charts, etc. I even had my 8 year old nephew come over and show him what to do. I know he is capable, just afraid. He is suppose to start pre-school in august but can't if he isn't potty trained.

Answer 1

We have used our son's favorite candy - Tootsie rolls and in the morning I'll have him go when I go. He and daddy also have contests to see who can sink Cheerios or a piece of toilet paper (whichever is handier) so we've made it as fun as possible. Maybe he's under too much pressure - that's what happened with our son. Some boys just don't train until later - our son is 3.5 and we're still working on it. You pretty much have to wait until he does it on his own (does he have his own little potty to use? Maybe the size is intimidating) and then make a HUGE deal out of it. We had to do the same with our son when it came to going #2 on the potty. The pressure will only delay things by the sounds of it. another technique I have heard of and tried (but didn't work for us) was (this may sound weird) blowing down there to see if the cool breeze would make him go. You could use a fan or a book to blow air too. Not sure what else you can do but wait until he's good and ready. Best of luck and hang in there, it will happen when he's ready.

Answer 2

Man..that's a long time to hold it! Maybe you should back off a bit for a little while. It sounds like it's becoming a bit of a power struggle. Boys do take a bit longer to potty train than girls and 3 is not too old to not be potty trained. I would try laying back a bit and seeing what happens. Maybe take a week or so off from the potty battle because it sounds like he is digging in his heals. You could ask him what he would like to earn for going potty. Perhaps the bribes/gold fish, etc are not reinforcing enough for him. You may need to reward him with something even bigger. Try to make the potty really fun and something he enjoys. Never make it punitive or keep him there for so long that he begins to tantrum. You could take him on a schedule...like every 30 min or so and keep it short in there. Sing a song or two and then move on. I'm sorry it's so hard for you. Know this...he WILL learn to use the potty. It will be on his time line...you can encourage and do everything you can to make it happen, but really it's up to him...it may not be by August, but it may be...either way, he will learn to do this. Step back, take a breath and try to relax a bit about it...all is well.

Answer 3

Let him stand and aim rather than sit. Other than the cheerio's trick to get him to "aim"....I used to reward my sons, everytime they were big boys they would get a sticker, at the end of the week...if they had XX# of stickers they would then be able to buy a hotwheel or something like that. I tried to stay away from the candy bribes though. Also too, if you do have him in pullups, get his favorite character underwear but don't let him wear them until he can be a big boy all day.....then he gets to where them, until he has an accident then he has to go back into "baby underwear". My first son never had a problem peeing in the potty, it was the #2 that he refused to do in the potty. I still don't understand that one!! But he is almost 13 and my other son is almost 7, both (of course) are fully potty trained and they have NEVER wet the bed. My youngest son still has an aiming problem, but I think that is a man thing (lol...). He used to love to "go" in the drain in the floor at his daycare!!!!!

You may try the "You can't go to school if you still wear diapers...." maybe guilt him alittle. Don't worry, they won't suffer from that later in life and when they get older they will try the guilt trip on you too!!

Might want to also tell him that he may have to go to the doctors or ER if he continues to hold it in, it can make him sick.....My son held his poo in for weeks and ended up in the hospital, he only did that once!! Scared the poo right out of him, literally.

Answer 4

It is normal for boys to be harder to train. Both my younger brothers didn't fully train until they were 5. My son was 4 too. The best bet is take him to the potty every hour on the hour, whether he has to go or not. Have him sit there for a few mins. If he does something praise him with words and excitement not with goodies. If he has an accident don't get upset. Just say 'Uh Oh, well maybe next time we can get it on time'. Also try fun methods such as Cheerios or Fruit Loops, have him aim for them to pee on, as well as food coloring to change colors. Another things, are you using the household toilet or are you using a kids one?

Answer 5

ok.. i know this has been a nightmare for u... trust me! i have a 4yr old son... and potty training him was a true nightmare!!!

so my only advice to u is:
1. get a fun potty that has one of his favorite characters on it. ( i've seen those lately)
2. do not put him in pull ups or any diaper related undie (it will only feel like a different diaper to him) use only regular cotton underwear- at home leave him in undie's all day.
3. limit his liquid intake.
4. ask him every 15-30 minutes if he has to go peepee.
5. take him with u to the bathroom when u have to go and reassure him that it's totally normal.
6. another technique u can try is using cheerios- yes cheerios, put a few in the toilet and ask him to pee on one of them (kinda like target practice) some boys love this!
7. reward him and praise him for at least trying- remember this is new to him so it's normal for him to be scared or even skeptical about it.
8. repeat steps 1-7. and have A LOT of PATIENCE....

good luck and i hope that my technique works for u.

Answer 6

Try throwing little bits of colored paper, cheerios, whatever floats into the toilet, and make a game out of shooting at them. Or have him go in with Dad, so that he sees that Dad does it and it's OK.

I like the idea of trying for a few minutes every hour, but don't stress out over it if he doesn't pee then - he WILL pick up on your frustration and anxiety. Act like there's nothing wrong, and go on about your day. When he does pee (and he will) give him a hug and a treat, or go do something fun right away - get an ice cream cone, go to the park, etc. He'll figure out that it's OK to pee, and where to do it.

Answer 7

My son is five now but we had to let him learn to "hang it out" then after that we taught him to potty in the toilet. Hang it out he got to got out side behind a tree or off the back porch where the whole neighbor hood couldnt see him.He learned to shoot it ,it was quite comical.I know this may be hard for some people to do because of modesty and such but sometimes you do what ever works...Just let him do it for a little while and teach him he can only do this at home or in the woods and tell him in public he has to go to the big boy potty.

Answer 8

I will tell you this much, I sympathize a great deal! My ex's son was damn near 5 before he would consider using the potty. Nothing nothing nothing at all will convince him to use the potty, he will go when he's ready and that's the long and short of it, you just have to be patient.

Answer 9

You should ask him if he wants or if he is ready. Please always remember of some scenarios in which your child could be undergoing. If he is ready, tell him you'll be proud. If he is still not doing it but ready, tell him stories about you having potty trained, this will relax him very much. Plus he will gain more trust. ^-^

Answer 10

Have you tried food color? Put blue in the pot. Blue+yellow=green. Kids think they have magic pee.