Telling my mom?

Question

Hey everyone sorry to bring this to you but i am just scared and not sure what to do.

So my boyfriend is 19 (i am 17) and lives about an hour and 45 mins away. We get along great and i see nothing going wrong in the near future. So that means i have to tell my mother. I am scared to tell my mom because of the age and the distance. It is not that he is a bad guy he is great, caring, a christian. And he is willing to drive every weekend to see me. He would just like me to drive like once a month to see him. I just am not sure what to tell my mom or how to tell her. And i have to tell her in the hear future so she wont be sooo mad.

This is what i have so far, "Mom, you know that guy i have been talkin to on the phone all the time well he asked me out but i said you and dad had to meet him first."

So PLEASE any help, tips or support you guys have? Also please no neagtive things i am stressed the way it is! Thank you so much!

Just for the refrence we HAVE meet and have being going out for a while now. He is not some stranger off the net.

ALSO....it is not that i am stressed cause somethin is wrong i am stressed cause i dont know what i would do if she said i cant date him, i might loose my mind.

Answer 1

First, take a breath.

Ok. Now realize that what you are about to do is act like an adult. This is very important, because it is your biggest weapon against any kind of anger from your parents.

Here's why: If/When they start freaking out about "responsibility" and "maturity", you then can pull this one out:

"That is what I am trying to do. Be a mature and responsible adult and introduce you to my boyfriend (or "the guy I like" or just "him"), and you are getting mad at me for it. How can I win with those odds?"

This will work, you just have to commit to the affronted teenager role. Trust me, you'll do fine.

Hope this helps (and good luck)!

Answer 2

Okay, this is actually going to BE easier than you think. Don't 'tell them he's coming' more than 'the day before he arrives' and keep that 'telling' as casual as possible ... just 'make sure they'll be home' when he gets there, and plan on doing something very PUBLIC where you can't get 'into trouble' with him. And be sure that you INCLUDE YOUR PARENTS if at all possible, because the 'better' they can get to 'know him' the easier it will be to get them to 'agree' to you driving to see him where he lives ... IF HE IS AS GOOD A PERSON AS YOU THINK.
You are 'only' 17, and THAT MEANS THAT IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH THIS PERSON, he can be 'arrested' for being a 'pedophile' ... and that is the 'way it will be' until you are 18 years old and are a 'legal adult' ...
I have a question for you... have you ever actually 'met' this person, or have you simply 'talked to him' over the phone or on the 'net? If you have never actually 'met' him in person, I suggest that you use a 'different approach' ... tell your parents that you 'need their help' in deciding if this guy is 'the real thing' or if he's simply 'snowing you' ... and arrange for that 'first meeting' in a 'totally public place' like a restaurant, and BE SURE that your parents are with you ...
Okay, I know that you said 'no negative things' and you may think that I am 'being negative' ... but actually I'm a mother, and I know that this world is 'changing' and that it is 'best for you' to have your PARENTS involved in 'meeting this guy' ... and let THEM decide whether it's 'all good' or if you need to just 'turn around and walk away,' and forget about him. Yes, they could be 'wrong' but that would be better than you just 'doing what you think is right' and ending up sexually or physically abused or DEAD. I'm guessing that you are 'stressed' by this because you KNOW that there is something 'wrong' going on here ... so talk to your parents and let THEM decide the where, the when, and the how ...

Answer 3

telling your parents is the best thing to do when you are in a relationship, especially if you are 17... as am I, I had the exact same problem (except he lived pretty close). He was a senoir (18) and I was a sophmore (16). We went out for the entire year without my folks knowing... until summer... when school let out he came up to my neighborhood to see me (and to also hang out with his old friends b/c he used to live there). well for about half the summer we had still been together, I couldn't even think about telling my parents. They saw him everyday sitting directly across the street (they thought he was staring at my house, but he was just sitting there with all the other kids). Then finally they found out by the fact that I would walk my dog at a very specific time everynight, at the same spot. Well, one night I took a little too long and my mom came down to see what was taking soo long... I told her that my dog got into a fight with another dog and it really scared me which was why I was sitting there, and the guy sitting with me was the owner of the dog (even tho it was my b/f). Now that they know I am no longer allowed to see him, but we are still soooooooo deeply in love. it's really hard for the both of us. even tho he still comes up to the neighborhood, I don't get to talk to him anymore... he is now 19 and I am now 17. he still buys me gifts and makes me cd's and writes me letters but it's just not the same... my point is... Tell her!! I thought that they would Never accept him, but the night the confronted me about it they told me that it would have been okay, we would just have to work at it...(of course they didn't say that until after an hour of yelling and tears)... so please don't make the same mistake I did... if I had known that it doesn't take much for my parents to agree on something, we would still be together...♥ hope I helped and I hope you don't make the same mistake that I did!♥

Answer 4

You are almost an adult so you need to start getting over being so afraid of your parents! Discuss it with them right away and maturly. Have him over to meet them first and then the next few weeks so they can get to know him, then ask about going to see him instead once a month. Promise to keep in touch while you are gone and be sure to be home on time. All they can do is say no and then you will just have to see how it goes. Hopefully they will like him and trust you.

Answer 5

Just be honest with your parents, you are a young woman, and they should be able to understand that. Let them know that they have done a great job raising you up to this point, and that you would not pick some bum to be your boyfriend. There is not that much difference in your ages, just two years, no big deal. Be sure to explain to your mother that he is a great guy, and let her know about all of the wonderful things that you already know about him. Honesty is the best policy!

Answer 6

I can't really relate to this one cause I'm a Canadian male, who was always considered to be "the bad boy" I went out with who I wanted and my parents had no say in the matter. But all that aside, it sounds to me like you're a respectable chick and you're probably going about it the right way. Have this guy over for supper some night so he can meet your family, just tell him to be on his best behaviour

Answer 7

Just be honest and confide in your mother. Tell her how you feel about this guy. This is one solution. The other is tell him that he has to come there to see you for awhile. Then see where it goes. This way your parents can meet him and get to know him as well and then maybe they would not have a problem with you going there to spend time with him.

Answer 8

age doesnt matter... well in this case unless its a 45yr old.. but only 2yrs isnt much of a difference... he sounds like a great guy! if hes willing to drive to c u every weekend, then he must really like u. since hes a christian, he may get along with ur parents too! u never kno wat will happen! go for it! just tell ur parents that u have a boyfriend... 1st thing: r u allowed to hav 1? im sure u r but approval of parents always helps.

Answer 9

I think you should tell her about him (how he treats you, how he's willing to drive up to see you, etc.) and tell her you'd really like her and your dad to get to know him. See if he'd be okay with driving to see you for the time being, and spending time at your house with your parents. Not only will that give your parents a chance to get to know him, but they'll see with their own eyes how well he treats you and how much he cares about you (that he's willing to hang out with your parents). In time, I'm sure they'll be comfortable with you spending more alone time with him and possibly even driving up to see him occasionally. Good luck.

Answer 10

I think you should tell her right away because if she finds out from someone else she's really gong to be mad I also think it's a good idea for your parents to meet him Why don't you ask your Mom if you could invite him for dinner. She might feel assured that you are all right in his company.,after she gets to know him better..good luck...kitkatz06