My aunt recently passed 2 days ago and i love my cuz alot and i have no idea how to comfort her. my mind goes blank. She says she hates god and i dont know how to reply to that. I wasnt really close to my aunt but i was to my cuz. I find myself being so mean trying to keep away from her as i for some reason say the most stupidest things when it come to such cases. i mean who's gonna listen to you saying it will all be fine when their mom just passed. haigh pls help!!!
2007-05-22 05:03:30 · 14 answers · asked by ILOVEU 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well, my Dear ILOVEU...,
First of all..
MY DEEPEST CONDOLONCES TO YOU FOR THE LOSS OF A DEAR ONE...
It is a fact that DEATH hurts so much, because encountering DEATH feels like being weak, lonely and helpless...and worst of all when such confrontation occures without the one you lost....where u r used to talking to him or her on issues, or sharing u your ups & downs in every day activity...where out of the sudden he / she disappears,,,
U need to start saying DEATH is part of human life...
God has created DEATH just as He created LIFE...
Immortality is not meant for us humans while on earth...
It will surely be later on in Heavens...
You need to make her realize that God always take those he loves, because He misses them and wants them around him with their souls to start with, and their bodies & souls later on when we all are destined to go up there...
Tell her she shouldn't hate God since we all know he loves us all...Did he not grant us life in the first place...
Why God takes a human life.....??
Possibly to end the suffering of that life...
Tell her sometimes DEATH is a relief from sins...
Yes...u r absolutely correct...IT WILL BE FINE LATER ON...
Do u know Y....
Because Humans ARE BEST AT FORGETTING...
They get bored with sadness...and cannot be sad all the time...
How many time have we seen a child crying his / her heart out for a loss of a close one to her / him...and then it is just a matter of a little time to see that child coming back to normal as though he / she understood that DEATH is actually part of our existence...our life...and our destinies...
Lastly, you need to remind her with the story of all those who lived before us, and how they ended up BACK TO DUST, the place where we belonged in the first place...exactly as it will be the case for us currently enjoying (or probably not enjoying) living and will one day be where our beloved ones have readily visited; i.e., The Grave Yard....
Well, u hit on the right string, where many of us are readily thinking of death as getting closer to us by the day...
A little while ago, I answered a question for a young lady celebrating her 21st Birthday.....wondering how she could make the best of it...In my answer, I tried to tell her to ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT AND THE REST OF HER LIFE, where I advised her NOT TO WISH TO GROW UP SO FAST...
Yes Dear...DEATH IS A BIG HURT, and whether we like it or not, WE WILL ALL HAVE A TASTE OF HOW IT WILL TASTE LIKE ON DUE TIME...
Hope this is a little relief...
My deepest condolonses to u again...
Smile honey...
2007-05-22 08:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Death hurts so much because someone who was a part of our life has left and a part of us went with them.
The best way to comfort your cousin is to just listen to her and reassure her that you love her and that her mom loved her very much. She hates God because she feels that God was very cruel to her for taking her mom. Just tell her that even though you are not a substitute for her mom, God also gave you to her and you will be there for her to love her.
Remind her that love is stronger than death and even though her mom is not here to hug her and take care of her, her mom has not forgotten her and prays for her now just as she did when she was in this life. Tell your cousin that death does not mean that she should stop loving her mom. Love never fails.
Do not even try to understand God's reasoning in all of this. It is something that we cannot know or understand. Just try to accept what has happened and what cannot be changed. Ask God for peace of mind and understanding of what has happened.
Bottom line - you can comfort your cousin by loving her.
2007-05-22 12:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son died & it was devastating to me, my daughter & my other son. My son who died also had a wife and child. My best advice is to talk to your cousin about going to counseling . There are also groups of people who meet , who have Lost Loved Ones. You can find them through Churches and Hospitals. I went to Counseling , it was the best thing I could ever have done. My Children & my older Granddaughter who was 6 yrs of age also went. We all went to the same counselor but had our own personal appointments. There is no way to say " I know how your feeling to your cousin " . No one knows how anyone feels. We all had different feelings . We chose to get help to deal with our feelings. It works if she works at it. Depression is something that comes with death. The best help for depression is Counseling or Group Therapy. You may also want to seek counseling because your cousins pain is hurting you inside. God Bless You , Your Cousin & all involved in your Aunt's death. Be Gentle with yourself. You're only Human. I hope I helped you.
2014-02-13 01:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't happen as often now as it did in the past. We're not as accustomed to it.
When a person dies, whatever role that person played is gone and now the people left behind have to deal with the change in their life.
Your cousin obviously needs all the comfort she can get. Start your relationship back up and explain to her you're not sure what to say. Time heals all wounds but you don't want to start another by messing up your relationship with her, do you?
2007-05-22 12:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by strpenta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt.
It might be tough for you to be around your cousin (because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing,) but your cousin is having a much harder time. She could really use an extra pair of arms to hug her now and then. And you don't have to say much of anything. Bring her some treats for you two to snack on together, hug her, and offer to help her clean or do laundry.
2007-05-22 12:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by KS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The death of a loved one hurts because she doesn't know where her mother's soul is. When my mom finally died, we were sad for OUR loss, but happy that she is now in Heaven an no longer suffering. I know it sounds crazy, but death can be a good thing; end to suffering and pain, and going to a better place. I BELIEVE this so I have PEACE in my mind and heart.
All you can do is comfort her. Just hug her and say you are sorry for her loss. You don't have to try to explain anything.
2007-05-22 12:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't say anything. Just hug her and tell her that you love her and that you miss your aunt, too. Another reason I hate religion. Here she is blaming God for a natural process that we all go through, like birth...where is her faith now? I lost my mother in April and I don't blame anyone. I'm sad she's gone and I miss her dearly, but no one is to blame.
2007-05-22 12:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by AuroraDawn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to think of it this way: If your aunt died and she was a good person, maybe God wants her in Heaven with Him. And tell her not to be selfish. If God wants your aunt in Heaven, your cousin shouldn't be wanting to disagree and wanting your aunt with her against God's Will. I really hope this makes sense. I'm sorry for your loss. God Bless You!
2007-05-22 12:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by Atticus Finch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her cry if she needs too. Hug her if she wants it but don't be mad if she pushes you away. She may hate God now because of it but if you show her how you can love her even now it will help some.
2007-05-22 12:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Seeking answers in Him 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mom when I was 15. You're just numb. But don't distance yourself from your cuz. She needs you right now. Sometimes silent presence says more than anything else.
2007-05-22 12:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by singwritelaugh 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋