My Mother !!!!!!?

Question

My family is opposite of the rest of the world. My mother is constantly getting into trouble where I (her youngest child) have to bail her out. I don't hear from her unless she needs or wants something. She is constantly lieing to everyone about even the smallest of things and I am sick of it. Now she wants me to give her $800.00 to pay her rent and she can't tell me what she did with her SSI check. I have the money but it's supposed to be used to pay for my daughters birthday party ( her only grand child). Would I be wrong to tell her "NO" even if i know it means she will be evicted.

Answer 1

as much as u love ur mother tough love for her becasue she is acting stuiped lieing and stuff i wouldn't give her the money, because how do u know she will use it for that? and if its susposed to be fro ur daughter b-day use it for that, it's more important, DON'T LET HER USE U PLEASE!!!!

Answer 2

Your a mother now and your child should always come first. Why should your daughter be punished because your mother can't budget her money and pay her rent. If she gets evicted she gets evicted. She needs to face the music. If you spend your rent money on other things then you get evicted! And if your afraid of her moving in with you tell her to use her ssi on another apartment. And how do you know if she's just putting a guilt trip on you? mabe she paid her rent and is broke and wants spending money?

Answer 3

Your Mother has a minor rent issue at this time, in the event she is evicted the matter will compound and become very complicated. In fact, it will be worse for you as most can see you're not going to turn your back on her despite your anger about it.

If you're willing to see her evicted then your choices are already made, if not, juggle to money issue and search for a compromise with tha landlord, maybe half now and half in 2 weeks, leaves $400 for the party and a birthday party need not be extravagant.

Answer 4

You know you cant bail your mother out all the time. It sounds like your the mother and shes the child, its time for her to grow up, give her some tough love. Tell her you dont have that kind of money...maybe even cut the ties for a while while shes getting her life straightened out. Good Luck.

Answer 5

It is time to start telling her no because all you have been doing is enabling her to continue to be irresponsible by cleaning up her messes.

Say no and cut her totally out of your life until she gets help with whatever addiction she is suffering from and grows up and acts like an adult.

Your daughter is more important than an irresponsible, selfish, self-centered adult - even if it is your mom.

And, you would actually be doing the right thing and should not feel guilty. It is harder to do the right thing almost all of the time, if you think about it - that's why we try to take the easy way out. Stick to your guns. It is the right thing to do.

Answer 6

No it is not wrong to tell her no. You are a parent so you understand that your child comes first. If you mother needs help there are social action agencies and churches which can provide her with emergency shelter or even money to help her. I understand that she's your mother but you can't be her mother. At some point we all have to put our lives together. If you can, take your mother in until she can get on her feet.

Answer 7

It wouldn't be wrong, it just will be very hard for her to face the consequence and for you to deal with it, but at the end, she is an adult that knows every action has a consequence and has to be mature enough to face them, and you are an adult that has a commitment towards her kid.

What would you want your kid to do if you were in the same situation as your mom?... forgive, forget and help? or forgive, forget, support... but help only if possible without going out of their way?

Answer 8

It really is an unfortunate situation. I would tell her no. She needs to learn to be financially & physically responsible for herself. Why should your daughter suffer because your mom couldnt be responsible for herself. But be prepared to face the consequences that come with telling her no. She may not want to talk to you, and your other siblings may turn on you to trying to give you a guilt trip. But you should put your daughter and husband (if you are married) first! Hope this helps.......Just my two cents!!

Answer 9

You should let your mother know that you have other commitments for your money. She is a grown woman and needs to be responsible for herself. You can't bail her out forever. Your child is your priority. Let her know that you love her, but you are a parent now and must make commitments to your child.

Answer 10

Awww..this is really a hard decision.....anyway....if I were you..I gave her whatever she needs...Eventually...she is your mom...and u don't have 2 look at the dark side ..... besides..if your mom has been evicted from her house....where do u think ..she'll go?!....hmmmmm..let's see...she'll live with u :( ......so give her the money to pay her rent :]

Answer 11

Let her be evicted then...it's time for mommy to grow up, stop feeling sorry for herself. She acts as if the world owes her something...well whaaaaaa. Life is too short...move on..be happy...sometimes you just have let people fall on their face.

Sad...but true...