Which one of us is right?

Question

My friend and I both have boys around the same age. My son at 6yrs old is a tall 4ft 6in slender 47 pounds. Her son however is overweight he is 3ft 5in 83 pounds. we stopped by the grocery store to pick up some snacks to bring to the park. While i was picking out some fruit and veggie trays, juices, cheerios (my kiddos love dry cheerios) she was stuffing her basket with cheetos, twinkies, sodas, candies ect. I told her she was making her son obese and thats abuse.(that was mean i guess i shouldnt have said anything but i did) she got mad and told me that i was abusive by telling my son that he has had enough to eat and not letting him eat what he wants when he wants it. In my eyes i think its better to teach him to eat just until he is satisfied not until he is full. Am I wrong am i abusive by not letting my son eat junk allday?

just to clarify some things my sons eats a variety of healthy foods meat , bread, veggies, fruits, milk. ect i do allow him to have "junk food" just not very often. and i have told her that i am concerned in a very nice manner before i just kinda got irked becuase the day before this she was like i just dont understand why my son is so big. even his doctor has said he is headed for health problems but she just says well i can not deny my child food.

Answer 1

I agree with you on that one

Answer 2

Too many kids today eat too much junk food & that's why there is so much obesity among our young. You're a smart mom to buy healthy snacks for your son. He'll get used to eating healthy & hopefully that will stay with him all of his life. It's up to the parents to make sure that their children are eating all the right stuff. Too much junk food, including too many sweets, only make the dentists richer. My six year old g'daughter eats good & she loves fruit & healthy snacks. Yes, they are allowed to eat cookies & candy sometimes, but they don't make a daily habit of it. When she's hungry, she's not denied healthy snacks, unless meal time is right around the corner. She has so much energy & burns it off constantly. Her parents never tell her she's had enough unless they've seen how much she's eaten & don't want her to get sick. You hurt your friend's feelings & I can't blame her. She may know that her son is eating all the wrong things but telling her that "she" is making her son obese, was unkind & uncalled for. You should have let her learn from what your son was snacking on at the park & gone from there. No one really wants to be told how to raise & feed their children, even if they know what's being said is the truth. Don't let this friendship end over who's right & who's wrong. It's not worth it & in the end, she'll see that her son is not eating healthy & hopefully, she'll change her son's eating habits.

Answer 3

While you were not very nice in your manner of telling your friend that her child is obese because of her habits in feeding him, you are correct. The children should be eating more healthy snacks like fruits and veggies. Obesity is fast becoming the leading killer of Americans. Another thing to look at is the amount of exercise that the children are getting. Keep up the good work with your son. I think that this is a rather good rule, no sugar during the week days and limited during the weekends. By limiting your sons portions, you are teaching him healthy eating habits that will continue in to adult hood. Just remember that he is a kid and a little sugar will not hurt him. You more than likely will not have to worry about your son dying of a heart attack at 20. Your friend on the other hand may have that to contend with and it will be her doing. She instilled poor eating and exercise habits in her child at an early age.

Answer 4

You were completely correct! However, in the future I would suggest you not really make comments like this again because this is probably the way she was raised and sees nothing wrong with it. Until the doctor tells her that her son is obese - she will not change her ways. I'm also sure the doctor will want to know exactly what she's feeding him and once she tells him - he will NOT be happy...........
She's just the type who must learn things the hard way and until a 'professional' brings it to her attention - she will continue to abuse her son and not realize how much she is really hurting him.
Next time, just keep your thoughts in your head and don't say anything.

Answer 5

I let my son eat until he is full. The unheathy food in my opinion was a bad choice fill the boy up with some fruits and veggies.
My son does get a treat every day though.. He is 6Yrs. old 4'2 and is 60 pounds.
Absolutely do not let your children tell you what they want and when they want it, that is a very poor example to set a child. Everytime the child is hungry(wants to eat) I would feed my son just not crap...

Answer 6

Common sense, you know you are right. The only suggestion I have is that if your son claims he is still hungry after his meal, offer him healthy snacks.....if he's really hungry he will go ahead and eat them, and even if he's not, the extra food he will be eating will have some nutritious value. Snacking isn't a bad thing, and occasionally having junk isn't either, as long as most of the time you are teaching your child to make GOOD food decisions and to listen to his body. Sounds like you are doing a good job.

Answer 7

I don't agree with either of you. Sorry. For one, I know this girl who's mom made her eat nothing but fruits and vegetables and weird organic healthfood when she was growing up and now she's 24 with 10 cavities cuz all she eats is junk cuz she never got it when she was a kid. In essence she over does it now. I think you really need to have a balance of both when you are growing up. Those foods are ok to eat if you eat them in moderation. That way when your son goes to a birthday party or a friends house he doesn't gorge himself on things he can't get at home. A happy medium works in most situations.

Answer 8

From a health standpoint, you're in the right. The point of raising kids isn't to give them everything that they want. As you would in your own life, you exercise moderation in your children. If she lets her child eat like this now, it's going to become more and more of a habit as he gets older. It will be harder for him, as an adult, to maintain a normal and healthy body weight if he's being taught to eat all he wants whenever he wants now. I wouldn't go as far to say that what your friend is doing is abuse, but she's definitely not putting her son's best interests first. What happens when he reaches high school and is ridiculed for his weight? What happens when he is an adult and has health problems due to his weight? The actions now will most definitely affect his future.

Answer 9

How can you be wrong in wanting to provide your son with a balanced diet instead of empty calories?

A british mother almost lost her 14 year old son because he was so obese. (he was about 200lbs) He couldn't walk for the seven minutes it took to go to school without wheezing or vomiting. They told mom that he had to go on a diet or else they would take him away.

There is nothing wrong with trying to keep your child healthy. What she is doing is abuse. research the affects of obeseity in children. It is scary.

Answer 10

Hell No!! You are doing the right thing, don't let the weak minded second guess yourself. As a health conscience father myself I'm going through something similar with my son and a nephew of mine who is 6 months and weighs as much as my 17 month son. Its wrong. She's wrong. Continue to fight for that child cause he doesn't know any better, and he needs a voice. You be that voice for him, he'll thank you later.

Answer 11

i think you are right. teaching your child to eat junk food is abuse. I'm sure if your son was still hungry that you would allow him to eat more of the healthy foods you offer him. keep up the good work, and don't let your "friend" get you down.