Why do men emotionally detatch themselves?

Question

My boyfriend ended our relationship last week after 6 months, he said "there was something missing", which is a load of rubbish because we were having a fab time up until about a week before this happened when he went a bit funny. He told me he loved me a few months back but hadn't said it since, he even said he had never told a girl before only his mum once and his gran once. When I asked him to leave the house it took him ages to go and he was asking what I was going to do next, also his face was telling a completly different story to what he was saying... i.e he looked doubtful. Is there something else going on here? Are men frightened of being in love?

Answer 1

e....mo....tion? whats that mean?

Answer 2

Not all men are capable of emotionally detatching themselves. What can happen sometimes is that people (meaning both men and women) don't find what they're looking for in a relationship and decide that it's better to end it than to go in with something that is unsatisfying to them. Personally, I'd rather someone I was with end the relationship than leading me to believe that they loved me and there was a future, when there really wasn't. Make no mistake about it, though - men are very capable of loving and loving deeply. Some don't have a clue as to how to show a woman how they feel, but that's another topic...

Answer 3

I think I sense a problem just in the way you asked the question. You claim that him saying that something was missing was a load of rubbish because you were having a fab time before. Maybe YOU were having a good time vand he wasn't? If you are going to dismiss his feelings that way, why would he want to tell you anything about any of his feelings?

Answer 4

It seems to me that time has indeed changed many things in our lives, including the way we love. One can terminate a relationship without leaving a piece of their heart behind. The courtship rela­tionship is not long term. You don’t have a “steady courtship” for all of high school and two years of college. Gone are those days. Keep on trying to find true love.

Answer 5

Im not sure if they are afriad to be in love, but i know they are just as vulnerable as women and don't want to be hurt and some just do not want to be in a relationship even if they really care and love someone. Sometimes for fears of being hurt, other time b/c they do not want to feel controlled by a female. Its a hard question with a lot of possible answers

Answer 6

not all of ours are like that but to be truthful sometimes we just have that feeling that we should just leave for no reason what so ever beaning man i cant explain it. Going on four year now relationship,and still think about every now and again. Sorry your feelings was heart IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT there's still some good men out there

Answer 7

A lot of men are afraid of commitment, attachment and also afraid of being hurt. Some even go so far as to think it is unmanly to be in love, be vulnerable etc. Some are afraid to be happy because they figure it will end in more hurt than they can bear, so they pull away. I recently read a book about all of this and it really explains a lot.

Answer 8

Most likely, this guy has had enough of your sex and is ready to move on to the next victim. The only thing he's concerned about is that you'll figure it out, which means he won't be able to use you for sex if things don't work out with his new girlfriend. The only thing he loves is sex, so don't be fooled again.

Answer 9

Not all men are scared of commitment. It just sounds like you got one who wasn't ready emotionally. Don't let this put you off, my hubby is a very loving man, and tells me he loves me everyday. There are some great guys out there, don't give up!!!

Answer 10

I could explain the inner workings of your ex s mind but I'm just a bloke and I have detached myself because of your unfair stereotypical attitude.
Ok I'm back, sounds to me as though hes simply changed his mind ( that's OK isn't it?) maybe hes not ready to settle down? maybe he fancies someone else? maybe your not right for him? Least hes honest with himself.
He only told you he loved you once. I suggest you get over it!

Answer 11

(1) Fear of vulnerability.
(2) Fear of the discovery that we men are imperfect.
(3) Selfishness in that we want perfection in others but aren't willing to strive for excellence in character ourselves.

In the end, your instincts are probably telling you the truth. You can't know what's on his mind or heart unless he's willing to tell you. Do not waste your time trying to rehabilitate men who aren't willing to strive for excellence in their own character.