Me and my fiance are getting married next year. Is it ok to just invite aunties, uncles and close friends?

Question

Due to the huge expense involved, we'd like to limit our guest list to 100 guests (considered to be a "small" wedding in my country). That means only inviting parents, brothers, aunties and uncles and close friends. Inviting cousins (and cousins' partners) would mean adding another 100 persons to the list (yes, we're a *very* large family), which we couldn't really afford. Me and my fiance are both happy with this arrangement, but I can't help worrying that some of our aunts and uncles will feel offended that their children have not been invited, and will not come themselves. I've been invited to all of my cousins' weddings, so this is the first time something like this is being done in my family...

Should I plod on or expand?

Answer 1

Invite whomever you want, it's yours and his wedding, not theirs. Start by ridding yourself of feeling like you need to explain yourself, honey.

Answer 2

If you and fiance are both okay with this then that is what you should do. If your cousins asks why they weren't invited, you can just tell them that there was space limitations, etc. They should understand.

I also will like to only invite about 150 to my wedding next year and am planning on doing an A list and B list. I will send out my A list guests' invites about 2 months before the wedding. After I receive declines from my A list guests, I will start to send out invites from my B list.
My A list will be close family and friends.

I hope I have helped!

Answer 3

As a soon-to-be bride myself, I can answer this a couple ways...
First, know that it is your wedding and you have the right to do or not do whatever you can or want. That said, I understand that such advice is easier said than done. I too have a large family and on a budget, having such a large crowd is very difficult.
2. As many have said, you can do a smaller ceremony and invite others only to the receptions. Sounds good, but the expensive part is really the reception, I know.
3. Have you thought about arranging the timing to be in the afternoon? Set the time to be good for hor d'oeurves or a dessert bar rather than a dinner or full buffet. Or, a morning wedding with a light brunch (not sure what this cost could look like)
4. If possible, try having the wedding on a Friday instead of Saturday (if that was your plan) Many reception places have reduced pricing (some 1/2 price) for Friday weddings compared with Saturdays.
5. Look for places to save money...prioritize what you want (e.g. photography, food, location etc) and look for places to minimize. If you aren't big on flowers and decor, keep it simple and to a minimus and try doing as much as you can on your own. Look to warehouse stores for purchasing (try the Flower Factory or look online)
Finally, one of the best ways to save money is to DIY...do-it-yourself...or find friends or relatives to help. Does anyone in your family do any catering or like to cook? Look for friends and relatives to help in the process...you'd be surprised how willing and helpful they may be and they can still enjoy the wedding, especially if there are a few of them working together.

Best of luck to you and Congratulations! I'm sure whatever you decide, your family will be supportive!

Answer 4

When joining two families, a wedding will always leave a few bruised egos among those that are not invited. Why not opt for a small intimate wedding and reception now; and have a labor day family picnic later. Then you can have a dish to pass picnic. The choice of who you can invite must be practical, don't start your new life out with bills that will choke you later. True friends will understand; and family may get over it later (hopefully). Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Its your wedding so have it how you want it. Not how other people want it. Because its your day. Your uncle and aunties saying what they have is so immature. I got married about 9 months ago and it was so wonderful because i married the person i loved. But i also had a problem with family members saying how i should do things. I now regret not doing it how i wanted. I mean they had there wedding day how they wanted so why couldn't i? Its what you and your boyfriend want and that's it! Maybe you and your boyfriend maybe your parents as well should sit down and have a talk with them. Explaining how you would appreciate there support and how its your day. If you don't like somebodies idea then don't do it! You will only get married once! Hopefully! Good luck

Answer 6

You should only invite the number of guests you can afford to invite. It would seem that the aunts and uncles would be the most important unless you are extremely close to some of your cousins. Congrats.

Answer 7

No do not expand it. It is already too large for me. The main thing is to talk about it to your aunts and uncles ahead of time, explaining just what you wrote here, that it will be very small and limited. That way everyone will know in advance not to expect a lot of people.

Answer 8

Tell them the truth. Talk to them and see if you can get help with the wedding. Yes it is expensive but tell them that you just dont have to money to invite everyone that you would like to. If they understand your problem then they will be fine with it. You might even have some of your family help you out with some money that way they can go. Good Luck and tell me what happens.

Answer 9

You just have to do your best on what you and your guy can afford yourselves. What you suggested is fine, but if there are only certain cousins you are closer to, you can invite them without feeling bad.

Answer 10

what my fiance and I are doing is inviting immediate family first, as well as aunts and uncles and cousins, then close friends if there is room available.