What do I do about my 5 1/2 yr old and 3 yr old fighting CONSTANTLY??????????????

Question

My son just got out of preschool yesterday and I am dreading this summer because already all I hear all day is "he hit me", " "she hit me first", blah blah blah........
My daughter screeches and my son (the 5 yr ol) thinks he is her third parent. He's always bossing her and trying to discipline her. I know I'm not the first parent to deal w/ sibling brawls. I just need help keeping my sanity intact!!! When they're not fighting, they do adore each other. Please, no judgments or nasty answers. I'm just reaching for help. Thanks!

Answer 1

my kids do that also they are 10 and 8 girl and boy. try separating them, one in one room and the other in another room...soon they will realize that darn-it's lonely out here all myself...i wanna play with my sis/my bro...i'll be good mommy. keep doing this as long as you have to! i still do and they fight alot less

Answer 2

I think kicking him out is a last resort. But I would recommend that you make sure he knows that it is an option. Say to him, "I realize that you are an adult now, and able to make your own decisions, and that one of those was the choice to stop attending college. However, you need to recognize that the choice comes with consequences. The first one, is that I'm no longer going to treat you as a child. I will respect your right to direct your life the way you want. And I will support you in helping you find a path in life that makes you happy.... BUT, as an adult, you are here in this home by my wishes and my wishes only. So you have a choice. While you are here you will abide by certain rules. And you will contribute to the budget for the household. OR you can move out of the house and stake your claim on the world. Since it is smarter for you financially to stay here, to accumulate some wealth that can help you in your life, I recommend that you stay here. And here are the rules...." Then you can lay out what he is responsible. And be very specific. Like "take out the trash by time x", "wash and clean all of your own clothing" . "contribute $40/week to groceries" Young kids are kind of weird these days. I don't think it means that they're any less willing to be responsible, I just think there is a disconnect between the amount of work required to get somewhere and the amount of work they expected. They have grown up with the internet, which provides such fast results, and they have been bombarded with images from TV that make it seem like money should be easy. So, I guess I'm saying "Have faith, you're not alone, and it will get better." Make sure he doesn't rub off on your daugher though, it sounds like she's on a great track!!!

Answer 3

Back when parents could/would actually dicipline thier children, our parents beat one of us like a tied up goat, and the other one then decided they wanted no part of that action. Like using a dead bird for a scarecrow, the birds will figure out the scarecrow will do nothing, however seeing a dead bird in a rope does the trick. Honestly, if you saw a dead person on a pole in someones yeard, would you go in it? Eye for an eye. I have a an 18 month old and a 32 month old, and believe me it never stops, throw in the cousin who is 24 months and it's on. One hits the other and the one who got hit gets a free shot back, they dont hit hard enough to hurt but the point gets accross. Now biting is another story.

Answer 4

if you have the ability and room, seperate them, I have 2 girls, now 17 1/2 and 14 yrs old! so I have been through it... and FYI it doesn't get better!! LOL! I know not what you wanted to hear! but I have told my 2, that if they can't be around each other without fighting, then go to their seperate rooms.... cuz I don't wanna hear it! pretty soon they realize it is boring, and lonely, and they'll come out, but at the first sign of arguing SEND THEM BACK!!! or it will not work!
best of luck, and even though they fight like cats and dogs, and it seems as though they HATE each other, let someone try and hurt his little sister, or let some chick break his heart in a couple of years and the war will be on!!!

Answer 5

One way to quell the fighting is to have them gain or lose points for getting along and not getting along.

Reward them for points...they will get it. Say, we are going to _________ when you get 500 points. If you fight you lose 100 points every time.
When you hit on things they want...the fighting won't be worth it

An immediate response that you can do in addition to points is to make each one "go to their corners" until they can stop.
They cannot do anything but face the corner until they are ready to behave...(standing up of course). Boredom is worse than death for little kids....my granddaughter, the most stubborn child could only take it for 15 minutes...and that was a really long time. The 12 year old can't do it for more than 30 seconds...
Try it...it doesn't punish the parent...

Answer 6

My kids do this also, and I have gotten to the point where as long as they are not killing each other...I let them work it out themselves. This may not work all the time, but the other day after a big fight I heard them hugging each other. Kids need to learn how to resolve their differences without their parents always interjecting.

Another thing, if they often play together, which my girls do..You can always threaten to separate them. My girls hate it when I do that.

Answer 7

Watch Nanny 911.They are nannies that trained misbehaved children.I am sure there is a program like that in your country.
1.What they did was teach the little kids to behave.
2.They never allow them shout to their parents or else they
wiil be reprimanded.
3.Sweet foods like chocolates and junk foods make the little kids hyper,so the said junks were replaced to fruits,
vegetables and other nutritious foods.
4.They were given simple task in order to learn responsibilities at an early age.
5.Keep them busy by letting them watch educational programs.
6.Buy kids books that are beneficial like bible stories.Read
these books before they go to sleep.
Good luck

Answer 8

I would explain that the next person to hit someone gets a small slap from Mom or Dad, and then I would slap their hands. Tell them hands were not made to hit each other and that they should not do this unless they want to be punished. I know it seems contradictory since you are doing it but tell them that they are asking for it if they don't leave each other alone.

Answer 9

They are going to fight no matter what. It is what siblings do.

But you can try separating them for awhile, try to find separate activities for them to do, preferably in separate rooms...and hopefully it will last 30min to an hour. Maybe one can watch a favorite movie, while the other colors, or plays with their favorite toy.

If you have friends with children, maybe you can 'swap' for awhile. You take one of your friends children off of her hands, and she takes one of yours.

Most of all, try to remain the one in charge. Don't let the one child boss the other, make sure your the one dealing out the discipline when needed.

Answer 10

I had two children a boy and a girl who were 2 years 2 mos apart, and they did they this too. Til Mom got tired of it. I used discipline and seperation. I took away what they wanted, and made them "want" to do what I wanted. I would not allow them to play together at all the first time they argued. I would always try to give them a chance to figure out how towork it out, first, unles they were really fighting. It took awhile for them to learn it, but as they got older, they would apologized to the other one.

I made my daughter play in one room and my son in another, or one inside and the other outside, until they asked me if they could play together. Before long, they got tired of playing alone and wanted to to play with each other and have fun together, which is exactly what I wanted. I wouldn't allow them to come together again until they were being nice to each other.Even your little daughter will piece this together herself that it's more fun to play with someone else than all alone.

I got this idea out of a parenting magazine written by a child psyhologist, and it works! He said to take away what you want your child to do and they'll want it for themselves. That when you take it away or remove it, it makes them want it more. As soon as you tell them they can't, they want it.

At first they didn't care, they were mad, and young, but after awhile, they got bored, and figured it out for themselves. Then later on if I caught them being good and.not arguing, I would bring them a pop cycle or a special treat.

Answer 11

When you firgure out what works everytime and will stop it from happening again, please let me know. My 7 yr old and my 3 1/2 yr old will not stop fighting all the time. Like your kids mine really do love each other and they get along great, but there are times when all i hear is "Stop, get away from me," or "Mom make him/her stop it" "He/she hit me" i just want to pull my hair out sometimes. I have tried the taking toys away or having them do chores (feed the dogs, use the swiffer to mop the bathroom, or help me do dishes), but nothing really works. Good luck!!!