paternity test?

Question

my boyfriend and I were dating only a few weeks when I got pregnant. The last person i slept with was about a month before my conception date. my conception date was january 23rd of 2006, andthe last person i slept with before my bf was on christmas. there is no way my daughter is anyone elses but my boyfriend. of this I am 100% confident that my daughter is my boyfriends. His parents want a paternity test. which I have absolutely no problem with..I completely understand their worries.

But here is the kicker. they dont call to see how she is. they bought her one outfit on christmas that was too small for her. since then they have called not once. Its like they are not concerned with her at all. I understand them being skeptical, but my boyfriend has told them on more than one occasion " even if there was any chance at all she could be any one elses,and im not her biological father.....no matter what...she is still MY daughter.

my ? is do the paternity test? or not?

why should i give them a paternity test when they dont even try to accept her even tho my boyfriend would accept her no matter what? its like they are not even giving her a chance or the time of day. why do you need a paternity test to accept your grand daughter? what do you think?when i finally called them to ask if it was because we werent married..they said no its because girls lie, and you guys werent together very long. we are in the military so paternity test doesnt matter as far as child support goes...just as long as he is on the birth certificate as the father. adn the paternity test is free to us..but the point of it all is......should i get the test just to make them happy when they havnt met us half way? me and my bf are both100% sure she is his. also..they told me their selves when i called them..i found out earlier around when my daughter was first born they asked him to get one and he said no cause he didnt need one and to never ask again

Answer 1

Take the test. In the end it will be better for your daughter. Imagine her growing up with one set of grandparents that don't even believe she is his daughter. After it is all said and done, the best thing would be to just go with it. At least when it comes back you can say HAHAHAHAHAH!

Answer 2

First of all, doing the paternity test can be a safety measure for you and your daughter later on. If the relationship ends, having the test in place will make it easier to protect your child's right to financial support from the father.

Next, it is possible that your boyfriend's parents are holding back because they are worried the child is not his, and therefor they could run the risk of loosing the child if the relationship ends. No matter how much your boyfriend loves the baby, if the relationship ends , unless he adopted, he would have no legal claims for visitation and his parents would have even less. It is possible they are simply being cautious because they are afraid of being hurt.

Finally, there is the chance that for whatever reason, even if they accepted the child without paternity testing, that they still may not be overly active in the child's life. All you need to do is read through postings here to know that many families have similar issues. Do the test. Build your life with your daughter and your boyfriend. If his parents come around, then you will have more to celebrate. If they don't, then that is thier choice. Be polite when you have to and then go on living.

Answer 3

It's great that you have a boyfriend that says "...no matter what...she is still MY daughter.", but there are just a few problems with what you are saying.
First off you may eventually NEED to know your daughters parentage for medical reasons. It will be a lot easier to deal with finding out that your boyfriend is not the father now rather than when you are in a medical emergency and are already stressed out. (although I hope you never have to be in that situation, regardless of who the father is!)
Next, what if in a few years your December guy decides that he might be the dad and wants a paternity test? Can you imagine trying to explain this to an 8 year old if you find out that the guy she's been calling Dad is not her biological father? It's unfair to December guy and your daughter not to do the right thing and have the test done now while she is too young to know what's going on.
Lastly, pregnancy due date calculators are not an exact science. They are a rough estimate based on the date of your last period, fetal size determined by an ultrasound, delivery date, and birth size. All of these things give you a pretty good IDEA of when you conceived, but are rarely able to pinpoint anything more than a span of several weeks.
The key here is that this shouldn't be about pleasing the "grandparents", but about knowing the truth.
I hope this helps.

Answer 4

If there is some sort of inheritance that they are concerned about passing to the child, maybe I would say yes. If your boyfriend is concerned, I would say yes. The grandparents are concerned, and I would probably do it just to get them off my back.

You are in no way obligated to them to have a paternity test. This is strictly up to you and your boyfriend. It may help you, however, should you and he split. He will have no way to say any bad things about you. You will have proof.

You are probably thinking that this would not be a concern. That is not necessarily true. If a guy feels like people are looking at him badly about leaving you and the child, he might say anything just to save face. It happens all of the time.

Answer 5

They may not be paying her much attention as they think she might not be their granddaughter. If you did a paternity test and you had that proof that this is their grandchild they might decided they want to be more involved. I guess you really have nothing to lose by getting a test done, it could ease his parent’s minds and then your child could start having a relationship with her Paternal Grandparents.

Its a decision that you and your boyfriend must make together.

Answer 6

You've to accept that senior citizens are more skeptical and more slower in accepting realities than the young. Try and understand their side of things. Go for the paternity test only to smoothen things out between you and them. And that too if the BF agrees.

Answer 7

does ur boyfriend believe that she is his daughter and is his name on the birth certificate? if so why do the test? unfortunately his parents have missed out on so much of ur daughters life already its now up to them to repair it, u do not need to prove anything to his parents.

However is there is any doubt with ur boyfriend that hes not the father then do the test to clear things up.

However from what u said i dont think u need the test ur daughter has her mummy and daddy with her.

Dont let his parents bully u, tell them that she is their grandaughter and if they cannot accept then maybe shes better off without them u have nothing to prove to them.

Answer 8

If you are 100% positive that the baby is your boyfriend's, I would do the test just to throw the results in his parents' faces and say, "HA! Happy now?"