I love my boyfriend and I know that he loves me, but the problem is that he doesn't show his emotions well. He always tells me that it's not that he is holding up a barrier but that it's just the way he is. I mean I wanna act all lovey dovey with him but I'm afraid that he will react in a cold way like he has in the past so I act like a tom boy around him. He is making me close myself up emotionally 2 because I know that he isn't emotional or affectionate so Y should I b? What do I do,,,,,should I just keep on letting him treat me like "1 of the guys" or should I just tell him that it's really bothering me and ask him if he could try 2 work on being more affectionate and emotional with me?
2007-05-21 19:37:58 · 17 answers · asked by Noodles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is tough ... I would first try talking to him. Once you address it you can go from there, you DO NOT need to change who you are as a person.
You acting like a guy is not gonna change the situation either, cause if that's the case then he should be with a guy.
2007-05-21 19:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Kelley 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's your first, this is his first week of in a relationship, and he's normally a emotionless guy, then this is a normal behavior.
Guys that show no emotion tends to be that way, because they do not know how to act...they are confused, they don't know what is "proper" to do in relationships.
All you can ask of him is time. Give him time. Take walks with him where there happen to be affectionate couples around...this will give him the idea.
In 3-4 weeks, he'll be warm up and be affectionate. You can start doing lovey dovey things to him, take initiative!! He'll get comfortable sooner.
Hope this helps. You can add me for other advices if you'd like.
2007-05-21 19:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys are taught from a very young age to supress their emotion (unless it's anger, in some cases). Being cold is a part of being a man just as being thin & pretty is a part of being a woman.
After so much time without exhibiting emotions, it's as though that part of the brain atrophies.
On the other hand, it could also be that he's a sociopath.
2007-05-21 19:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys are like that. I'm one of them. It could be something as simple as he feels it's not "masculine" to be lovey-dovey or emotional. If that is the case, if you want him to open up, I'd suggest encouraging it but ONLY in sitautions where it's just you two. i.e., don't expect it if his friends are around. He seems like he needs to learn how to interact with a significant other when all he knows is how to interact with his pals.
At the very least, i'd talk it over with him a little more.
2007-05-21 19:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by jbone907 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noodles, you may misunderstand. He's never going to show his emotions, because one: he has none. Two: he considers emotions on the same scale as used meat. Something he doesn't know about, is something to get rid of. The guy could sledgehammer a sack of puppies. He's a cold fish. He'll never get better. Affection is **** on a bull dog to him, forget it. He ain't coming across with anything but sand. Find a nice musician somewhere, and get some warmth back in your life, and artist of some kind. Any kind.
2007-05-21 19:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm. I'd have to say just act loving to him and maybe he'll learn to express his feelings. I had this same sort of problem KINDA, because well all throughout my life NO ONE in my family expressed their love to one another. I mean I never saw and STILL have not seen my parents say 'I love you' to one another. Have never seen then kiss or even hug each other. They don't even touch each other. Don't get me wrong though, they do love each other and they rarely argue. My brothers rarely showed their love to their girlfriends as well or they never bring them to the house. Also this isn't just in my immediate family, it's the same thing for all my relatives. Being exposed to this I had a hard time expressing my feelings or felt like I wasn't able too but I always felt it in my heart that I could express my love and thanks go my current girlfriend I am now able to shower with all the hugs and kisses and I love yous that'll just blow her away. Your guy could have some other reason though or maybe that really is how he is, so I don't know...
2007-05-21 19:46:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend shows no emotion because his parents raised him to be insensitive. Being lovey dovey to someone who shows no emotion is like loving a lamp post.
It's cold, it has a light, and it just stands there.
2007-05-21 19:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by Agent319.007 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are a girl of passion and this relationship is robbing you of that quality that you want and need. Don't close up! He says that he loves you--well he had better learn to put his body where his mouth is. Men will change when and if they want to and not if they are asked to. If they agree, it is not a decision that they truly want to do.
You are very vulnerable to meet by accident a guy who is outgoing, friendly, passionate, and has exciting eyes. What would you do?
2007-05-21 20:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, but dont talk about it. just do it. guys, like me for instance, dont like to break down and be all lovey dovey cos then if the other guys find out they get made fun of for it, but everyone knows that all guys do that, its just gettin caught that sucks. just act the way you want around him and hell come around eventually. they get me every time anyway :)
2007-05-21 19:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by stuck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people are just cold. is the rest of his family the same way? you will be banging your head against this wall unless he is willing to get help in dealing with emotions. while it isn't manly to be a whimpering crybaby, it is totally unmanly not to be able to show affection.
2007-05-21 19:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by chieko 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋